MyNewName

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'Sewer Boy' Survives Five-Hour Nightmare

OTTAWA (Reuters) - A Canadian teenager was recovering in hospital on Wednesday after a surviving a five-hour nightmare in a subterranean river of filth and human waste.

Officials were surprised that Christopher Watt, 15, was still breathing after being swept away by a foul brew of bathwater, river runoff and human waste after gaining access on Monday evening to a 1,320-mile labyrinth of sewer pipes under Ottawa.

"The sewer was full of sanitary sewage -- what comes out of your house and my house through the kitchen sinks, bathroom sinks, and toilets. All that lovely stuff that we don't like," said Pat McNally, director of utility services for Ottawa, who dubbed the teen "Sewer Boy."

Watt's friends ran to his home where relatives called the police. After estimating his approximate location, rescue workers donned air tanks and waded into the reeking blackness, not expecting to find him alive.

"At first reports that somebody's gone down that sewer and disappeared, I wouldn't have said his chances were that good. He was in an environment that we normally take a number of precautions before we enter into," said McNally.

But after slogging through several sewer pipes along the route, rescuers heard Watt's cries for help. They used inflatable boats to fish him out of the sewer about five hours after he fell in. The boy underwent decontamination and was taken to hospital.

Officials suspect Watt might have gone into the sewer on a dare.

"He was in a nine-foot diameter pipe that was fortunately only flowing at about three feet full. He was a very fortunate young man," McNally added.”

“That really sucked, eh?”

“Did you surface with a sausage in your mouth or nose?”

“I was able to fashion a crude raft out of tampons. It was really quite comfortable.”

“so now we are flush with a new set of puns?”

“OY!”

“I'm hungry is it supper time yet?”

“Another alias, Kleety???”

“Hey Michael, shouldn't you be working?”

“dumb ASS!!!!”

“LMFAO!!!!!!!!

Good job!

8)”

“He's from Ottawa...maybe he can be the next Prime Minister of Canada...he knows his #&%!$.”

“lmao”

“People coming up with new trailnames should append to it: "Formerly known as ... (whatever their former name was)."”

“EEEEEWWWWWWWWW”

“This is a really crappy thread.”

“something amis and it is a foul smelling affair. Someone please open a window.”

“bacpac accusing Kleety of an alias?? C'mon now BBB!! Big, Beautiful Bacpac!! lol”