BPING VS FAMILY OBLIGATIONS

“What a dilemma!! I am headed to Oregon for a Wedding Reception, it is for my brother in-law. My brother lives in the same location, and he is going on a bping trip. I can be back to go to the reception, but I would not be there for all the family events the three days before the recption. My wife has already approved (yes, I do ask!!) the bping trip because she knows that I would rather avoid all the family activities anyway, but I worry that I will make some of my in-laws mad/upset with me.
Knowing that at least some of you must have been in this situation before, I am seeking your advice.
What should I do??????????”

“Just go, man!”

“Were you invited? If so, have you said yes or no? If you said "yes," then you are obligated. If you said ,"no," then you are free to do as you like.

If you were not invited, live your life as you would like to live it.

Three days of family events with in-laws seems a little excessive, unless you have a very close relationship with them or are the groom.

Since you are undecided, I suggest that you call some of them and talk to them about it. Since you are not the groom, they may be happy if you stay out of the way!”

“Take a hike!”

“Let's see:

choice one: you stay with the family and have a miserable time with the inlaws that is excerbated because you are missing a bp'ing trip.

choice two: you go bp'ing for a few days, get back to the reception and impress the inlaws with you good humor and relaxed demeanor

Ummmm,, is the answer B?”

“They don't really want to see you anyways. It's the wife they're looking for, lol. Go and enjoy your trip with your brother!”

“yeah, what chili (whoever that is) said! ;-) who wants to hang out with someone who doesn't even want to be there? i can always tell when someone isn't having a good time, and that always makes ME feel bad, for some reason! life's short, you should enjoy yourself.”

“I agree with chili, and I believe my wife would also.

Go on the hike and you will come back relaxed and refreshed...and the relatives will be jealous that you got to go and didn't have to stay for the 'family' affairs.”

“You fullfilled your main obligation by discussing and coming to an agreement with your wife. Beyond that, what your inlaws want from you is their problem. Be your own man or they will own you the rest of your life.”

“All the family events for THREE DAYS before the reception??!!! It sounds like some African tribal ritual where they get painted up and feast on a boar for three days. They'll never miss you; they'll all be wasted!”

“All right then, bping it is!! Thanks for all of the input, I appreciate it. I'm not well versed in social interaction and like to see if I'm coming close to doing the right thing.”

“As much as love backpacking and the outdoors…family comes first, even if it’s her family. Could you try and make it back for the ceremony too? It could come off looking like you’re not good enough to make the most important part but good enough to show up for the free food and beer. The trail will always be there. This a once in a lifetime thing for your broth in-law.”

“hey, lets not get carried away with that "once in a lifetime thing"......lol.

my brother has already had three "once in a life times".....

if he ever gets married again, you can be sure I will be backpacking that weekend.”

“he'll probably thank you for it...you lucky charm, you!
;-) hehe!”

“Aero said "boar"...

From what you said, Tahoe, I'd do the bp trip and then hit the reception. If they're a little annoyed, so be it, your woman gave you the permission. Perhaps you could relish the story to the inlaws a bit, and say your bro is going through some tough times and you had to fulfill your obligation with a brother and accompany him on his trip to get his mind of things?”

“Go hiking. Wifey gave you permission and it's HER family. If they complain, blame wifey. "She said I should go!" ;-}”

“Whos hungry? I'm hungry. I'm craving Applejacks! Be right back.”

“In my experience, in-laws aren't relatives, they are annoyances. If your wife has given you the green light, go. She's really the only one who's opinion you should be concerned about.”

“I'm sure they'll understand that you want to spend a few days w/ your brother while you're in the area... Of course, I'm assuming it's a good distance from where you live and that you don't see your brother often.”

“just dont mention the trail ho's or the magic mushrooms....heh heh


your wife will be occuppied, it couldn't be a better set-up.”

“Tell them you're afraid a B52 will cut the cake like the Afgan wedding.”

“Now that Ann Landers is no longer with us, TrailTalk advisors can fill the void.

The next time you want permission to go backpacking, just let us know...we are always here to help!!!

Have a good hike!”

“They are already married, so I won't be missing any wedding ceremony. (Thank Heaven)
It is a good ways away, and I don't get to that area often.”

“If your wife approves, go for it. Just be sure to be back in time.

You only mention the reception. I assume you'd be back in time for the wedding?”

“Gentle Reader,

Is the family nice enough to talk this over as a family problem, rather than making it a competition?

If not, Miss Manners hopes you will be big enough to begin. Call a family council and set a brotherly tone by saying that although you want to go backpacking at that time, you wouldn’t miss your brother-in-law’s pre-wedding reception festivities for the world. Add that if you put your minds together, surely you can find a way to create family festival that everyone can attend. And give your wife a poke if she tries that childish bit about your time being stolen.

Miss Manners doesn’t quite care for the suggestions you did make. Missing your trip is ridiculous, but so is having the family spend a few days talking behind your back. Obviously, some compromises will have to be made, but surely your happiness is less important than having the family together.”

“Miss Manners, holy cow man that is heavy!!!

Let me explain further- the marriage part has already occured. The reception is this weekend on Saturday. After talking with a guy at work he suggested that I should return to the family gathering on Friday evening. It sounded like a great idea. I get to backpack, and spend time with the family (in-law), no they are not that awful. I'll also be well rested and ready to be fully in attendance on Saturday.

I will backpack regardless of any outcome anyway. Thanks again.

If I fail to ever post here again, I will most likely have come back late for the reception, and my body could be located somewhere in the eastern Oregon desert!! LOL!!”

“You forgot to mention what they were serving to eat at the pre-reception festivities and the reception. To me that is crucial information in order to make an proper decision.”

“Just don't show up without showering first!”

“OK-
Oregon...
Ok with mama-
Mom-In-Law most likely hates you anyway-
Thank them for getting you this close-
Have fun dude-be safe. Look at pictures later & show them yours.”