Ask BB: Questions on dating, and relatio nships.

“Looks like Anonymous Reese has been dreaming about our very own Boodha bear!”

“Reese,

Although you have dropped from the #1 slot on my hottie list, I'll still be over in 5 minutes.

Good luck!”

“Then Buddha Bear farts and the dream turns into a nightmare.”

“Dear BB,

There is this real hot chick on TT that I want to ask out on a date, but she says I am a sexist pig with intimacy issues.

Do you think she is just saying that, because she really thinks I am hot?”

“bacpac,

Yes, everybody here knows that lizs has wanted to jump your bones for years. If you get within a sniff of Iowa, you may find yourself getting married again.

Good luck, and don't do it.

BB”

“I recently lost a bet and had to shave. My question is will the profuse sweating subside with time. And another, how do you tell a lover that the 'buckwheat in a scissor lock' look is like so 70's?

Yours truly,, Towel Flossin' to the Oldies”

“Oh, BB, PLEASE help!

I keep attracting unmotivated men who totally lack initiative. They're looking for a second mother to take care of them. Oh, they come off real tuff, gun toting hunter types but my idea of enjoying the outdoors is NOT sitting next to a bait pile.

What should I do?!!?

Single with children”

“I have no earthly idea how to answer your question. Shave your head.”

“I'd like to answer your question, but I really don't feel like it. I'm sick right now and need somebody to make soup for me so I can feel better to go hunting this weekend.

PS - When are we going out? I need the dishes done, my laundry cleaned and supper cooked. :)”

“just as soon as I get done baking gojo an apple pie!

;o)”

“I have been dating this girl for 2 days and haven't got any. Should I Dump her for someone easier?

Signed Blue b@lls”

“kodiakman - Is she Iraqi or Kuwaiti? I heard of two soldiers who have married Iraqi women and are having trouble getting them back to the US.”

“Dear Mr. Bear:

Help me. I want to be a good Christian, but my son has driven me to my wit's end. I planned a nice family party in our home for his 20th birthday, but he brought his so-called friends and ruined everything. I felt evil spirits come into the house with them, and told them so to their faces.

I know they all smoke pot together and who knows what else. When he made a wish and blew out the candles, he was laughing like he was stoned. I burst into tears and blurted out that MY wish is that I could have more babies because these ones didn't turn out so good.

He's got his 16 year old sister looking at Vogue magazine, which is nearly pornography, and now she's asking about wearing makeup! Where will it end? I can't have more babies because I've already gone through the change, and my husband has abandoned the family. I feel so guilty and inadequate as a mother. What should I do?

PS: If I get angry with him, he'll stop bringing me presents.”

“umm what is his sisters name and when is the next party?”

“good luck! Mine are still young (13,10 & 9) Both the younger girls are wanting make already.”

“childless and plan to stay that way for a lonnnnnnnnng time”

“The first thing you should do is confiscate your son's drugs, and mail them to Rush Limbaugh as soon as possible, so he can dispose of them properly. Then, tell your kid to get a job, and get his own place.

Keep your make-up wearin' daughter away from Ice Tea.

Good luck!”

“WTF????


Call 911. The girls want to make what?????? I am having chest pains.”

“LMFAO!!

Yeah, just WHAT are they "MAKING?!?!"”

“Mine are still young (13,10 & 9)

Hopefully little tasty morsels from the E-Z Bake Oven.”

“Just keep those girls away from Unix and everything will be okay.”

“LMFAO and there I was, worried about opening the thread.

Oh yes, did I mention I'm ... uh, never mind, wrong thread and young ears.”

“Dear Buddha

Some scruffy guy who lives on a park bench keeps spouting weird, psuedo-religious stuff all the time. How do we shut him up?”

“Wait for a really cold night and turn a firehose on him. Works every time.”

“Thanks so much for jumping on your soapbox and failing to address my concern. I really have the problem, and I really need help. I thought maybe you can really help someone. If you can't offer any real help, please say so and I will continue to search. Please don't pretend, and then spout off answers as you already have done. Be genuine - say that you don't know what to do.”

“That was great advice PLB!”

“Dear Buddha

Some scruffy guy who lives on a park bench keeps spouting weird, psuedo-religious stuff all the time. How do we shut him up?"
Ghoulbeet

Dont talk about Mutt that way - we still accept him...


Just keep those girls away from Unix and everything will be okay."
bloodpusher

Hey I made sure my daughter played with unix....are you saying that was a bad idea?”

“Dear Buddha

I have this problem. Every time that I go out with my friends all of the women tend to throw themselfs at me. It is really hard to drink a beer when women are hitting on me and grabbing my package and saying how much they want to go home with me. Then they start to fight over me. The next thing you know all of the women in the whole bar are throwing down to sleep with me. I'm just like that. I want to find a meaningfull relationship. How can I get women not to throw themselfs at me.

Can't find love
Kman”

“Om Buddha,

I, well, I um sorta was like in a bar, and there was this, well, don't know exactly but I was wondering if um, well, do?, I mean, can?, if I wanted, could I?, oh forget it. I am so cunfused.”

“Damn, I love Sara McLachlan.”

“yo my beatch dont square me wit ma buds

should i whap her cross da head or jus her back”