Two Hikers

“Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together, and they were getting a little testy. One morning, the first friend says, "You know, we're starting to get on each other's nerves. Why don't we split up today. I'll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south and spend the day. Then tonight, we'll have dinner and share our experiences over the campfire." The second friend agrees and hikes south. The first man hikes north.

That night over dinner, the first man tells his story. "Today I hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed
a stream up into a canyon and ate lunch. Then I swam in a crystal clear mountain lake. As I sat out and dried, I watched deer come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers were filled with butterflies and hawks floated all day overhead. How was your day?"

The second friend says, "I went south and ran across a set of railroad tracks. I followed them until I came across a beautiful young woman tied to the tracks. I cut the ropes off and we had sex in every imaginable way all afternoon. Finally, when I was so tired I could barely move, I came back to camp."

"Wow," the first guy says, "did you get a blow job?"

"No," says the second friend. "I couldn't find her head."”

“!”

“yet so funny”

“crack up !”

“He couldn't find her head? Maybe he didn't look very hard.”

“Two Arabs boarded a flight out of New York. One sat in the window seat
and the other sat in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an American
got on and took the aisle seat. After takeoff, the American kicked his
shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the
window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a beer."

"No problem," said the American, "I'll get it for you."

While he was gone, one of the Arabs picked up the American's shoe and
spat in it. When he returned with the beer, the other Arab said, "That
looks good, I think I'll have one, too."

Again, the American obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone,
the other Arab picked up the other shoe and spat in it. When the American
returned to his seat, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight.

As the plane was landing, the American slipped his feet into his shoes
and knew immediately what had happened. "Why does it have to be this
way?" he asked. "How long must this go on? This fighting between our
nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing
in beers?”

“Two great jokes!!!”

“LMAO...rof”