Backcatting

“Looking for advice from other people w/ trail cats.

I want to start taking my cats backpacking.

They come w/ me when I car camp and they love it. But, I've never taken them backpacking.


Questions:

Where do your cats sleep? In the tent, in the vestibule, or outside?

What about cat booties. Are they for real? Or just a gimmick? I've heard it just depends on the weather. Is that true?

Any other thoughts/suggestions are appreciated!”

“Great idea. Cats make nice meals for coyotes and bears. Might save the old food larder!”

“just protect there left feet and make sure they don't leave a turd in your pack.”

“there = their”

“ummmmmmmmm...I think Tilt has a ferret. They're kind of cat-like

Do you plan to pack a litter box?”

“Hey... that's plagiarism!

If you're gonna troll, the least you could do is come up w/ your own stuff and leave me out of it!

:)”

“Baume, you've caught the "there/their" disease from me...”

“Having my cats sleep in the tent would be my preference. The main concern is that I have a two person tent... for two persons. Doesn't leave much room for the 37 cats!

Another concern is their ripping or tearing any part of the tent or screen.

Example: They were taking a nap w/ me in my car camping tent and saw my friends dog trot by. They wanted to get away, so they jumped up and clawed right trough the screen door. I couldn't blame them, the mesh is so fine you can barely tell its there. Cats are great: They're cute even when they screw up! You should have seen them. Love cats!”

“LMAO @ Violin! Err, um, PhatLuvBunni...”

“LOL!!!!! PhatLuvBunni - you are a freak!! :)”

“With 37 cats you wouldn't need a sleeping bag.”

“How heavy of a pack is recommended for a cat? Is there a rule of thumb… errr… paw?”

“The heavier the pack, the faster the cat will sink to the bottom of the river, at least in my experience.

Personally, I just put the cats in burlap sacks and weight them with big rocks before I toss them over the bridge into the river.”

“Sounds like towndawgs favorite kind of woman/troll.”

“Some of the local rednecks prefer hefty bags.

About three cats to a bag.”

“What "people" foods are good for cats. My cats LOVE grapes and corn on the cob (they eats it right off the cob). I have read some articles that talk about feeding cats only fresh meats and produce but am skeptical. I would love to pack fresh food for them... any suggestions there?”

“Oat bran. Lots and lots of oat bran.”

“Then give them water. Lots of it.”

“Yes, you can take cats backcatting. They just love hiking on the trail and are good for at least 19 miles a day if you toughen their paws up first.

There is one little problem though. Unlike dogs, cats sometimes stand at the trail head with a look on their lovable fuzzy faces that seems to say:

"Me? you talkin to me human? You think I want to walk what trail? Are you out of your mind? What are you smokin man? I want some of it! Walk it yourself you flamin idiot; I might be here when you come back and I might not!"

So, PLB, go right ahead and take your 37 cats hiking. They probably need a good laugh.

Signed,
Dear Abby”

“i don't understand this whole thing. as if there's not already enough uselessness around here. violin, how do you find the time to get that bored?”

“LOL! Violin is gonna get blamed for every silly ass troll that comes along.”

“A ferret wouldn't even make a decent snack for a coyote.


Oh, Snackboy... know any good ferret recipes?”

“my heart goes out to him, ped. heheeee!
;-)

in case anyone's been dead for awhile, or for some other reason hasn't seen this...


DIARY OF A CAT

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from shredding the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant and cough it up on the carpeting.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed (again).

DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan...

DAY 768- I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo". What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth and the tiny bit of flesh under my claws.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies". Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.”

“If I had been writing it, the last entry would have been something like this:

Day 778 - My plan may have gone awry. I thought to gain my freedom by urinating in my captors' closets, something they usually chalk up to "territorial marking" or some such nonsense. After this incident, my captors had a long and loud discussion, which terminated in the taller one grabbing me forcefully and thrusting me into the plastic cage from which I write this missive. He placed me in their noxious automotive conveyance and drove me to my current locale, where I have been able to communicate with others of my own kind. Apparently several fates await me. I shall either be imprisoned here, awaiting new captors, or (and I shudder to think of this possibility) they will actually perform surgery on me and remove my reproductive organs. Horrors!

I hear the voice of my captor approaching now, so I must end this entry. He is talking with another human, this one in a long white coat, who seems to be holding a cylindrical object in one hand. They are discussing something concerning sleep. Perhaps I overplayed the nighttime sleep deprivation card, and they are going to inject me with some sort of foul drug nightly so that I will be unable to keep them awake. If that is my only punishment, I will be lucky.”

“I could use some "foul drug" to keep my cats quiet at night. I especially love it when one attacks the rug, and the other brings a toy on the bed to play. Or the always fun sheet monster, where he bites whatever moves. Yeah, loads of fun.”

“Why waste a garbage bag? 22 shells are cheaper. They best cat is a dead cat.”

“Great, Lyra. Droll.”

“Cricket's Revenge”