F the Po Lice jokes

“Two men are driving through Wisconsin when they get pulled over by a State
> > Trooper. The cop walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The
> > driver rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him in the head
> > with the stick.
> >
> > "What the hell was that for?" the driver asks. "You're in Wisconsin,
> > son," the trooper answers. "When we pull you over, you better have your
> > license ready when we get to your car."
> >
> > "I'm sorry, officer," the driver says, "I'm not from around here." The
> > trooper runs a check on the guy's license--he's clean--and gives the guy
> > his license back.
> >
> > The trooper then walks around to the passenger side and taps on the
> > window. The passenger rolls down the window and WHACK, the trooper smacks
> > him on the head with the nightstick.
> >
> > "What'd you do that for?" the passenger asks.
> >
> > "Just making your wish come true," replies the trooper.
> >
> > "Making WHAT wish come true?" the passenger asks.
> >
> > "Because I know," the trooper says, "that two miles down the road you're
> > gonna turn to your buddy and say, "I wish that #&%!$ would've tried that
> > #&%!$ with me!'"”

“you're ate up”

“im going for a walk”

“Very cool!!”

“An avid hunter and Illinois State Trooper found a very recently killed buck deer on the side of the road with a trophy rack. Despite it being illegal, the Trooper/hunter put the buck in the squad car and snuck it into his basement of his nearby home to butcher it after his night shift. Within the hour, the police dispatcher informed the Trooper that his wife had an emergency at home and he needed to return. The Trooper sped home to discover the buck was not dead, but merely knocked out. The buck had come to and was in the process of tearing up his basement. The Trooper took out his service sidearm and proceeded to shoot the buck.

The Sergeant on duty had heard the emergency dispatch and also went to the Trooper's home to back him up if it was trouble. When the Sergeant arrived, the door was open and gunfire was errupting from the basement amid crashing noises. The Sergeant rushed in fearing the worse and discovered what happened.

The Trooper kept his job but got 30 days off.”

“Holy Shoot!!

I would have died laughing!!LOL”

“So, this guy buys a new Beamer and decides to take it out on the road to see what it can do. He's driving down the highway at about 120 mph when all of a sudden he sees flashing lights behind him. He stomps the pedal to the floor and at 150mph the lights start to fade back. Then the fellow thinks to himself, WTF am I doing? He slows down, pulls over and waits for the cop to catch up. The conversation goes something like this:
Cop; "All right, buddy, I've had a long day, I'm at the end of my shift, and since you decided to pull over, I'm going to give you a break. Frankly, I don't want to hassle with the paperwork. I've heard lots of excuses for people speeding and if you can come up with one I haven't heard before, I'll let you go."
Without hesitating, our hero replies "Last week my wife ran off with a cop and I thought it was you, trying to bring her back."
Cop; "Off you go!"”

“One hard nose cop who always made a drunk driving arrest at the town honky tonk every Saturday night was at it again. At closing, the first person to exit the honky tonk staggering to his car, fumbled with his keys, and drove very slowly past the officer. The officer pulled him over and asked for his drivers license. The driver fumbled with his license for a long time, and with a very slurred speech, said "I'm the D.D.". The officer asked the driver to step out and do the field sobriety tests. The driver swayed, fumbled, stumbled, and mumbled, "I'm the D.D.". The officer took him down to the station at the other end of town, and asked the driver to blow into the breathalyzer. The driver took a long time doing it, blew very hard, and the device registered ZERO. The driver slurred, " I'm the D.D.". The perplexed officer asked the driver to try again. Same ZERO result, and the driver slurred, "I'm the D.D." The perplexed officer asked the driver if "D.D. meant designated driver"? The driver straightened up, winked, and said in perfect diction, "No officer, it means DESIGNATED DECOY"!”