Hot Dog Johnny's

“It was at Hot Dog Johnny's that Cpl. Nasty became a non-combat casualty. After dancing up and down rocks all weekend, the good corporal disembarked at HDJ's for the custumary hot dogs, fries, and birch beer.

There, on flat, paved ground, while standing there (not even moving), the good corporal apparently began dreaming of slaughtering bad guys in the bush.

When the dream was over, he was lying flat on the ground, bleeding from a cut on the chin, with a bunch of people asking whether he was alright. He got up, got his order in hand, staggered to the table were the rest of us were sitting, and sat down holding a bloody napkin to his chin.

He had hit his chin on the counter (thankfully not ruining any hot dogs in the process) and the back of his head on the pavement.

That flat, level ground will get you every time.

He ate some food and reported feeling better, so Wildflower said she would follow him home to keep an eye on him in case he needed help. Since he posted, I guess he's okay and not too much the worse for wear.

Then he had the nerve to ask whether he gets a Purple Heart. It didn't happen on the trail, did it dude?

Personally, I think he was trying to ruin the trip but his timing was way off!

And besides, he's not even a little bit nasty. Da noive uvda guy!”

“Was it a Trail Zone? If so, then it does count!”

“Nope, a commercial zone along Route 46 at Buttzville, NJ, miles from the trail!”

“The worst part is all the chicks will ask how he got the cut on his chin, and he'll have to lie and say it was from tackling Brian.”

“The best I can come up with for a medal citation:

Cpl. Nasty, after prolonged operations in the operations zone, while in the act of waiting in the mess line, did single-handedly, without regard to his own personal safety, throw himself on what he thought was a live grenade. The mere fact that it was only a hot dog does not detract from his heroism, which was in the finest traditions of the United States Army.

That will just have to suffice, corporal!”

“You said Buttzville.”

“It could be worse, you could live in Dicktown, NJ”

“Buttzville is the name of the town. It's at the junction of Route 46 and Route 31 along the Pequest River. HDJ's is less than a mile from the junction and is the one and only Hot Dog Johnny's, not associated with any other. While you are there devouring dogs, fries, and drinking birch beer or buttermilk from frosted mugs, you can also purchase a day-glo tee shirt if you are so inclined. The place is always packed, but the wait is worth it. Just watch out for falling corporals.”

“hotdogs and buttermilk.....




thank God for Lower Alabama, where we have cheeseburgers and Coke”

“Hey Artex,
this thread reminds me of the jackass episode where Johnny Knoxville goes to Mianus, Conn. did you catch that one? i pass there all the time on my way to Mass. "there's a hot dog stand in mianus"”

“LMFAO!!! Yes, of course!!

How long have you lived in Mianus?”

“Geobeet, it is not too late to sue the fast food manufacturers for deceiving you into thinking that hotdogs are actually life sustaining. See the "It was only a matter of time" thread.”

“It is written in the good book that man does not live by bread alone. Hot Dog Johnny and me, we subscribe to that adage.”

“LMAO!
The only thing I regret is that no one from the trip got to take a pic of me on the ground, or even see me fall. I was standing there waiting for my order, my head got a little light, and the next thing I knew my eyes were closed, I was laying down, and I heard someone saying "He's not breathing." I almost got freaked, but then someone else said "Yes he is, you idiot" and I got right up, felt a lot better, politely declined the offer for a 911 call and rejoined the group. Everyone there was just great about it, some lady came by and gave me a cup of water thinking I was dehydrated (My knees had locked up actually, bad circulation) and Elyce, Geo's daughter in law, seemed upset that I didn't get the lady's number. Goretex offered to stitch me up then and there- Thanks bro- And thanks to Geo, his son and daughter in law, and wildflower for generally looking out for me. It's a pity there weren't more of the group there to laugh at me. The hot dogs, by the way, were world class. The concrete, on the other hand, sucks.”

“They have a strict policy at HDJ's. The dogs you have to pay for; the concrete's AYCE!”

“LOL @ Corp. Nasty! You have a poetic way with your words, my friend.”

“Hey, Corporal, sorry to hear that you were injured in the line of duty....er I mean line of food ordering. It was good to meet you.”

“Nasty, you're giving us some great posts! It does sound like I missed the best part of the whole trip. ;)

By the way...gravity sucks, the concrete is just there to give you a place to land.”

“Nasty, Hope you heal up fast and feel better. Maybe the humid weather had something to do with it.”

“Hee hee, the Corporal fell head over heels for a weenie. Drink Gatorade/sportdrinks during a hike to minimize fainting...or just eat more. Happened to me once while getting up from a seated position on a log...felt dizzy but didn't fall.”

“I'm just glad he was okay. Didn't want him ruining the trip after I failed to do it! Dam corporals always trying to muscle their way in!”

“That reminds me of being in the service. We used to have what they call a "Pay Day Muster" where we all had to stand in formation at attention while someone would say stuff we couldn't hear.

It was inevitable that at least one guy would lock his knees up and pass-out. Then we'd grab him by his webgear and drag him to the back of the formation”

“Reminds me of band and drum corps. Always, always, no matter how many times they were warned, some freshmen would lock his or her knees, and pass out in the Alabama August heat.

Our band director, the SOB, always told us, "Go for the instrument, not the person!"”

“bitpusher was a band geek, hehehehehe!!
:-D”

“Sorry, no geeks in the tuba line...lol...

Plus I was in drum corps as well. Now there's a life-changing experience!”

“Grin”

“Hot Dog Johnnys?? *salivates*

It's been two and a half blessed years since I left Joisey and Goe's right, there is only ONE HTJ's. Those frozen mugs with birch beer.....ahhh, memories.

Hey, Cprl, sorry to hear about your mishap, I would have been "Johnny" on the spot for ya, iffin you needed an EMT to help ya!

Tex”

“much 'preciated, Tex. The food was great, I hope to go back there someday soon with an appetite, a sledgehammer and revenge on my mind. All I have to do is figure out how you sneak up on concrete...”

“LOL @ Corporal Nasty!”

“(All I have to do is figure out how you sneak up on concrete...)

Stealth! You have to wear soft-soled shoes and be very very quiet. Also, don't grunt when you swing the sledge hammer. It will give you away.

Tex, I'm just gonna hafta go eat a hotdog, fries and swill some birch beer for ya on Sunday. I'll let ya know how it tastes.

And you thought there were no penalties for moving to Texas!”

“Thanks, Geo- Changed my mind though. Instead, I'm going to sue the manufacterers of said concrete. Emotional trauma, you know. Every time since then that my head has hit the ground, it hurts just like it did that day. Must be psychosomatic.”