Your Message Here

“OK, this post is on behalf of my husband who is auctioning tattoo space on his #&%!$, the winning bidder gets their design / message / logo tattooed on his #&%!$, with the following provisos.

1) If it is a copyright or trademark the winning bidder must be the undisputed registered copyright / trademark holder.

2) The winning bidder does not have any automatic right to photograph the finished article or use said photograph, and any such promotional usage to be negotiated by separate agreement. Failing mutual agreement no photographs shall be taken.

3) He reserves the right to choose the tattooist (for reasons of health / safety) and the right to refuse certain inks / colours on the grounds of health / safety

4) He reserves the right to refuse designs that he considers offensive, immoral, or objectionable.

5) In addition to the bid fee, the auction winner pays all his expenses including any incurred by any of the above clauses.

6) No tattooing will commence until he has been paid in full and monies are cleared in his bank.

7) No refunds will be given under any circumstances with the sole exception of his refusing to have the tattoo applied.

8) He reserves the right to have the tattoo removed at his own expense, if he so chooses, after a period of not less than 24 months, medical reasons notwithstanding.

9) The tattoo will be confined to the exterior skin only, not the glans.

10) The auction winner may at their option use one buttock instead of his #&%!$, both buttocks = 50% surcharge.

11) make him a REALLY good offer, and if he likes the product / design, you can use his entire body except hands / feet / face.




This isn't a joke. If you have any questions please ask, all questions will be answered by my husband and not me 'cos it is his #&%!$ after all :-)”

“Oh dear. #&%!$ is a bad word?

#&%!$ = willy”

“"Shorty's Bar and Grill in Chattanooga, Tennessee". (One line, please).”

“penguin”

“So you live in Iowa and just had quadruplets, right? Thought the advertising had to go on your shaved head???? (same diff??)”

“Post no bills”

“Well, based upon condition #4 I can see he's a moral guy.”

“They had a similar thing on my radio show this morning. But, this guy was willing to tatoo his head for $25,000 for 5 years with anything you want. I guess it was on Ebay.”

“Stand Clear”

“No tailgating”

“"Now I know what 'poop castles' are."”

“Tab A”

“Why didn't your husband post this?

Are you in charge of handling this particular penis?”

“good god, he's overridden the profanity meter1”

“matt loves that trick.”

“ban everyone from TT”

“I went to an orgy and all I got was this lousy tattoo.”