The madcap adventures of Psycho Squirrel

“I finally think I'm figuring it out. I bait the traps with peanut butter. Psycho Squirrel is able to defeat the triggering mechanism on the traps and scarf up the peanut butter unmolested.

However, when this happens Psycho does not commit his deprivations on my tomatoes (Probably his teeny little teeth are stuck together?).

I may have to make up one of those thermite bombs and rig up a triggering mechanism to a wad of peanut butter.

I'm beginning to feel like Bill Murray in "Caddy Shack."”

“"scarf up the peanut butter unmolested"

this is the best line i have ever heard!!

if you keep this up my son might tell me on a sat. morn. how there is a cartoon about a pyscho squirrel lose in NJ.”

“

Carl Spackler: License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote.”

“You're being blackmailed by a squirrel!

"Give me peanut butter or I take your tomatoes!" ;-)”

“The trick will be to place the peanut butter further and further away, leading out to open lawn where DA HAWK can spot his little gray delectible carcass.

Like the man said, "So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote."”

“I'm beginning to believe it.”

“well thank you for that one.
im now cleaning up snapple icedtea off my comp. screen....
i laughed so fricken hard!”

“sorry pennsy,
but your pics have been replaced by this pic. for my screen savers...”

“Some of the squirrels around here do have nards that big.”

“Man, the Secret Service is gonna have a field day with you Maple. Threatened the president, has an obscene animal picture on her computer, ...

Profiler says Bingo!”

“Now this is one of the more funny threads that I hvae seen in ahwile!

8D”

“Geez, Maple...I guess you must be new. My skwerl has his own webpage where he rilly gets down.

He kicked Bill Murray's ass as well.”

“oh i really dont want to do it but i will go and see your website. wish me luck”

“#&%!$,
next time warn me to turn down my speakers,

i swear you guys are going to get me fired!!!

that was very funny.
i sent it to everyone on my buddy list
so i figure im going to get alot of hate mail because of you. thanks”

“You're welcome.”

“oops, I mean, uh I'm not Kleetn!!!”

“IDIOT!

I'm telling mom!”

“She always loved you most.”

“yesss. the rocky and geobeet show.
golf clap. most excellent”

“Jeez, I'm trying to get rid of a predatory squirrel and they're trying to figure out who mom loved most!”

“rocky was a racoon you silly person


LOLOLOL


geobeet have you named him yet?”

“Psycho, like in the thread title?
Psycho, Psycho Squirrel.






Got me muh de-hydrator now Bubba. Gonna make me some skwirl jerky so's we can have sumthin t' go 'long with th' Vienna sausages 'n' beer.”

“Gosh Gee Rocky, want a little peanut butter?”

“(blush)


im sorry

i think my husband who is a very big fan of the show would not talk to me if he found out i didnt remeber the name......”

“HAHAHAHA...the better to blackmail you with, my dear....


moooooowahahahahahaha”

“racoon squirrel, whatever. they're all a bunch of bandits.
granted some are obviously more well endowed then others.
ever seen a backyard squirrel obstacle course?”

“Yeah, ... It has a Havahart trap, a rat trap, a bunch of tomato plants, and some stark raving loony muttering something like "I'll get you you little b@st@rd, and your little raccoon too!"”

“course if u keep this up and psyco gets a big enough following, actually offing the guy may bring u some flak.
personally, my motto is "blow #&%!$e up"”

“I gotta catch his miserable &#(@&%^ arse first! I've never even seen the little sh*t, just the devastation he leaves behind. I'm beginning to suspect he weighs in around 15 pounds and is about two free long. This would be consistent with missing tomatoes and half a jar of peanut butter.”

“Are you sure it's a squirrel? We have tons of them. I gave up and just cut down my apricot tree - I never tasted one despite years of battles. They've never touched my tomatoes though.

That friggin' rat on the other hand...”

“Yeah, Violin, I've never tasted a squirrel either.”

“maybe it's a skinny racoon. you know a beaver on crack or something”

“Hear they taste like chicken.”

“No. I'm sure a chicken tastes more like a squirrel.”

“or a fish perhaps?”

“Man, I don't know which is funnier, the Rocky and Geobeet show, or the Punch and Judy ...er, I mean the Kleetn and Phaedrus show. This was the first time I had tears streaming down my face.”

“"beaver on crack"?”

“Geez kleety face, put your squirrel away! You haven't dragged him out in quite some time!”

“"cider squirrel southern style"


Good GOD ya'll!”

“suppose we built a large wooden badger. you know, to sneak the west nile infested hawk w/the thermite tomatoes closer”

“Barbecued Squirrel

Put some slices of fat bacon in an oven. Lay the squirrels on top of them and lay two slices of bacon on the top. Put them in the oven and let them cook until done. (sorry, no time or temperature specified) Lay them on a dish and set near the fire. Take out the bacon, sprinkle one spoonful of flour in the gravy and let it brown. Then pour in one teacup of water, one tablespoonful of butter and put some tomato or walnut catsup. Let it cool, then pour it over the squirrel.

(from Housekeeping in Old Virginia, 1879)”

“I'll put mah skwerl away if'n you bring yer beaver out, Pammy.”

“Beaver: [confused] Wally, why would a clam have a beard?

Wally: Gee, I don't know, Beav.”

“THAT IS IT BIT-P. my MAN (check profile) my FRIEND”

“Squirrel Supreme

2 sm Squirrels
Seasoned salt
2 sl Salt pork, rendered
1 lg Can Pineapple chunks
1 Lemon (use juice only)
1/2 ts Nutmeg
Juice from Pineapple
2 c Chicken stock
1 md Onion


Dredge the cut up squirrels with the seasoned flour. Brown meat well in pork renderings. Set aside, saute onion and nutmeg in pan juices. Add stock and fruit juices and bring to boil. Put meat back in pan and simmer covered for two hours. Add Pineapple chuncks to pan, cover again and cook another 1/2 hour. Serve in a covered casserole with juices poured over.”

“Awe kleety, I love it when you talk animals to me:0P”