The madcap adventures of Psycho Squirrel

“Why you scummy lowlife lying lawyer!

waitaminute, that's redundant.”

“The squirrels that were at my parents house had a penchant for nesting in the attic, leaving pee stains on drywall, and eating the phone lines. They're all dead or moved out finally. Squirrels don't eat my tomatoes; all the box turtles do. It's amazing that a turtle can knock over an entire plant to get the fruit. I have much more respect for terrapins now, and grow my plants in buckets.”

“were all sharp implements (cept chainsaws) removed from the latrine?”

“turtles are good for ice/winter shuffleboard.

probably red squirrels, recon unit”

“Don't worry squirrel. I'm still with you. Just wanted to draw out some evidence. (That and I had a flashback)

Here, look what we have to work with:


I'm still looking out for evil squirrels? And you thought that big knife was just for grapefruits didnt ya!!"
Maple Leaf
02:36:12 PM
08/13/02

(Incriminating remarks about killing squirrels)


turtles are good for ice/winter shuffleboard.
Trik1
02:45:56 PM
08/13/02

(history of animal abuse)


Ya shudda slain the lizards!"
Geobeet
02:30:11 PM
08/13/02

(More history of violence and threatening remarks)

I does make a spectacular show - trails of blazing thermite, bits of smoking squirrel fur."
Geobeet
02:11:57 PM
08/13/02”

“w/salt and pepper

ded men tell no tales (unless u watch CSI)

and the turtles love shuffleboard”

“Squirrel, I have bad news for ya. Yer "lawyer" is a fraud. Can't even get his quotes right. Probably got his law degree at the esteemed (cough cough) F.U. School of Law.”

“Whew!
Lawyer that's a relief. I was hoping you didn't go all Uncle Tom Squirrel on me.

F.U. School of Law.
Isn't that where Tommy Cochran went?”

“No, he went to the O.J. School of Law. If the glove don't fit, you can't convict! That's their motto. At F.U. the motto is, If the client can't pay, stay away!”

“For an allegedly hip tomato thief you don't show me much Squirrel!”

“What were you expecting an opera?”

“Look Geobeet. Lay off my client. And what makes you think your tomatoes are worth stealing anyway?”

“Got any proof?”

“Caught your client red pawed with the moichendise counselor!”

“Stealing them???

And here I thought he was just p!ssing on the the tomatoes.”

“smell his breath!”

“Some words are defamatory on their face: they are "libelous per se." Courts have held that these words can, by themselves, damage a person's reputation. Words that are libelous per se have clear, unambiguous, and commonly agreed upon meanings. Among the many red flag words that are defamatory on their face are unethical, adulterer, THIEF, drunkard and cheat.”

“All circumstantial.

There are plenty of tomatoes in the neighborhood.”

“can you say BLACK MAIL?



heheh now ive got you thinking dont i?”

“Here's more proof of squirrel evil.

http://www.geocities.com/nickedemis/menu.html " target="_blank"> proof ”

“Obviously Psycho is not American. He/she spells organization as "organisation," color as "colour" and realizing as "realising" in early posts. (Or perhaps trying to deceive us.) Where's the Bureau on National Security?”

“Tell it to the DA. The jails are full of innocent people! Right!”

“Looks like it's time to close up shop for the day, go home, and make a squirrel sneeze. I'm gonna love this one!”

“I think Psycho Squirrel must have spent yesterday at his lawyer's office posting to this board. It's a great distraction. No tomatoes missing. Let's keep the little blighter busy!”

“Hit the wrong dam button!”

“I'm a busy squirrel.

I do have a request though. The tomatoes are juicy and yummy however I now have a yen for squash.

Next season, think about it.”

“Oh there's gonna be squash alright. Couldn't have said it better myself!”

“Cool, you too?

Whodathunk.

You're all right after all Geobeet.”

“Squash, splat, crunch, ... whatever!”

“Hmmm, sounds like those scitzo tendencies are coming out again.”

“hay squirrel



IN COMING!!!

RUN FOR YOUR LITTLE LIFE


hahaha made you look”

“Hodja like that neat capsicum I left for you around the tomato plants? Though you like one a spicy tomato!

My, was that a little squirrel sneeze?

God Bless you!”

“The squirrels at my parents house like the cayenne. It makes their noses run. They'd run up, eat it ,go wipe their noses on a branch, and come back for more. 'Course I think even PS would think these squirrels weren't right.”

“It was quite tasty. I'm thinking about making a nice acorn chili with them.

AAACHOOO!
*snerk*
Got a hankey?”

“Ever tried acorns with thermite? Mmmmmm Good!”

“Ok squirrel, How how you catch geo.

first get a large top loading back pack and put it by the back door with an open beer inside. When Geo comes by he will smell the beer and stick his head in the sack to investigate. Pull the draw string tight while hes inside and do whatever is needed.”

“"cute is out, deth match is in.

tha facade is over, uncovered by the teachings of 668

get in da ring

and make me rich"
Trik1
01:53:24 PM
08/13/02

PENNSYLVANIA STATUTES AND CONSOLIDATED STATUTES
PURDON'S PENNSYLVANIA CONSOLIDATED STATUTES
TITLE 18. CRIMES AND OFFENSES

(h.1) Animal fighting.--A person commits a felony of the third degree if he:


(1) for amusement or gain, causes, allows or permits any animal to engage in animal fighting;

(2) receives compensation for the admission of another person to any place kept or used for animal fighting;

(3) owns, possesses, keeps, trains, promotes, purchases or knowingly sells any animal for animal fighting;

(4) in any way knowingly encourages, aids or assists therein;

(5) wagers on the outcome of an animal fight;

(6) pays for admission to an animal fight or attends an animal fight as a spectator; or

(7) knowingly permits any place under his control or possession to be kept or used for animal fighting.



And this one's for Geobeet!!

(i) Power to initiate criminal proceedings.--An agent of any society or association for the prevention of cruelty to animals, incorporated under the laws of the Commonwealth, shall have the same powers to initiate criminal proceedings provided for police officers by the Pennsylvania Rules of Criminal Procedure. An agent of any society or association for the prevention of cruelty to animals, incorporated under the laws of this Commonwealth, shall have standing to request any court of competent jurisdiction to enjoin any violation of this section.

l) Search warrants.--Where a violation of this section is alleged, any issuing authority may, in compliance with the applicable provisions of the Pennsylvania Rules of Criminal Procedure, issue to any police officer or any agent of any society or association for the prevention of cruelty to animals duly incorporated under the laws of this Commonwealth a search warrant authorizing the search of any building or any enclosure in which any violation of this section is occurring or has occurred, and authorizing the seizure of evidence of the violation. In addition to any other penalty provided by law, the authority imposing sentence upon a conviction for any violation of this section may require that the owner pay the cost of the keeping and care of the animal.

(m.1) Fine for summary offense.--In addition to any other penalty provided by law, a person convicted of a summary offense under this section shall pay a fine of not less than $50 nor more than $750 or to imprisonment for not more than 90 days, or both.”

“"First kill moose, then squirrel."

Boris Badinoff”

“Ahhh, but squirrels are covered in the game laws, and blowing them up is not considered cruelty. You can kill them but you can't torture them.

And I believe that one is justified in killing animicules that raid agricultural crops.”

“Squirrel, your lawyer is even sicker than you! He has a fool for a client; you have an idiot for a lawyer!”

“(4) in any way knowingly encourages, aids or assists therein;


hay i dont need no stinking encourgment from anyone!!
the only aid that will be needing is YOU can you say 9 1 1

little squirrel
little sqirrel
the things i could do to you if only you lived closer to me!!
geo
get a grip of your little rat um i mean squirrel”

“Hmmmmm.....

I'm not giving up the legal angle but when in doubt, taunt.

Geobeet's got a big butt!
Geobeet's got a big butt!”

“And Maple Leaf spells worse than a Squirrel!

Good God! Look at that punctuation!”

“Chased your little butt all over the yard.”

“Are you THAT hungry?”

“You needed the exercise.

Just look at the bright side, I'm helping you get in shape for the Sods trip!

A whole week aye?

So much time, so many tomatoes.”

“Dude, I'm an impoverised rodent. Without health care how am I supposed to get rid of the worms?”

“Impoverished rodent my arse! You eat better than monkeys do.”

“Damn, I don't do links. Could someone who sides with Psycho Squirrel post a link to this page?


http://members.tripod.com/~srl2/”

“Exactly how many doctors do you know that take tomatoes in barter?”