The madcap adventures of Psycho Squirrel

“OMG that is my all time fav. scene of all!!!!
i die laughing everytime i se that!!!!

that was very funny geo,

ok now you fuzzy tail #&%!$head what are you going to do for your next act?”

“What? Were you talking to me?

I wasn't listening, I was watching the soaps. Back to the show.”

“PS
you have way to much time on your hands.
i think there are two of you.
1 to watch tv
1 to harrass the nice folks here at TT and eat geobeets tomatoes....”

“I just have a high metabolism. Squirrels are like that ya know.

Harass who? Are squirrels not welcome on TT?”

“They're welcome anywhere but my tomato patch. And in my carnivous bog terrarium. Then again, Venus just might evolve bigger and stronger traps to make the best possible use of the nutrients at hand.”

“i posted this on another thread but i belongs here

its in regaurd to geobeet being special

"yes you are geobeet,
if you were not then he would go to someone elses tomatoe patch.
see how it works.
deep down he really loves you!!"
Maple Leaf
11:58:08 AM
08/15/02”

“How 'bout it squirrel? You want to plea bargain? Just turn yourself in at the cage. There is plenty of peanut butter to last until I can take you away under the witness protection program.”

“We'll take you to a very nice place where people bring you nuts and things. You'll just love it.”

“i waz tellin this sad tale of woe to my friends.

they would like to adopt the squirrel.

to replace the ferret they had. (died of old age and too much cuddling)

they suggested we're not very smart as a collective think tank, if we cannot surpass the issue w/o violence or physical harm to the antagonist.

squirrel lovers.

me i'm still renting chainsaws and weedeaters over ere.

PS- lovin the pet shop ref-good call”

“It's been three hours and we haven't heard from the little booger. He could be watching soaps, but he's probably into my tomatoes again! GET OUTA THERE YOU THIEVIN VARMINT!”

“Trik, tell your friends to come and get the b@st@rd. They can take a few of his cousins while they're at it.

The Trail of Tears all over again!”

“hhhm ive never heard of someone dying becasue of too much cuddling

mr. sqirrel, i can think of worst ways of going so you might want to think about this one.
cause its got my vote”

“Do you folks really think that all I do all day is sit here and wait for you to post?

I got in a quick 9 holes.

Beautiful day for golf.

That's a generous offer Mr. Geobeet. Lemme think about it.

I'll get right back to you, promise.”

“All you need to do is crawl into the cage and I'll do the rest. You'll be off to meet the new neighbors!”

“Hmmmmm.....
New digs and total freedom
Vs.
Tastey tomatoes and death threats.

What to do, what to do.”

“Make that tasty tomatoes and death.”

“Don't rush me!
I'm thinking!”

“Oh all right, I'll go.
Can we be friends now?
Wanna nut?


Now remember, I can't held accountable for those other guys hanging around the yard.”

“DONT DO IT GEOBEET,
i beg not too.
i dont trust the little rodant!!!!”

“Well he has to turn himself in by crawling into the cage. If he's not there when I get home, the deal's off and the war's on. I will seek the death penalty.”

“I wonder what happened to his hotshot lawyer. He'll probably turn up now brushing crumbs off his pants and trying to focus his beady eyes.”

“If I go home tonight and find that squirrel in the trap, I am either going to fall over laughing or be very skeerded!”

“you better keep your word or youll never be rid of them ....”

“It takes two.

If I think I'm being had, I'm outta there.”

“Pssst, Psycho, you're being had!”

“squirrels have the attention span of a circus monkey”

“I say ,send 'im to thebackpackerjr. They deserve each other!”

“Have I ever told you guys about the time, one deep snowed winter, that I found Birch in the backyard with a friend of ours, playing yard darts with a dead frozen squirrel? They'd throw that poor stiff rodent way up in the air and he'd plumment down to stick nose down in the snow. It was quite the site, I must say.

Geobeet, get yourself a good squirel dog or two and all will be well. Except then the dogs would eat your tomatoes and dig up your carnivorous bog plants.”

“warn me when you're setting me up for a picture like that. isn't that against the rules or something?”

“old farm guy says "ded squirrel's make good plungers"


yard dart is much more creative tho”

“No plea agreement it looks like. The war is really on now. Rat poison it is. Went home and found several, not one but several, nearly ripe tomatoes gone and shreds of skin lying among the vines.”

“Well geez, what did you expect?

Here I was thinking that maybe, just maybe we could work this out
But OOOOOHHHH NNNNOOOOOOOOOO, Geobeet isn't interesting in peaceful compromise. No sir, he just want to rationalize his homocidal tendencies.

I have MUCH more class than the backpacker jr.”

“Afer all, you DID say it was a sham.”

“I'm still here. Just thinking. Hmmmm, that hurts. Need to stop that.”

“Lawyer, ... thinking? ... Right!”

“hay Mr. Lawyer,
after PS is dead eerr gone on that nice long vaction, who is going to be your next client? ive got a mouse in my apartment that wont go away. so what do you think?”

“Sharks are getting a bad rap these days too.”

“Yeah, poor sharks. No respect.”

“thats it
thats all you got
man your going soft!
go eat an onion and that will livin ya yo”

“When I was in student housing we had herculean mice that would empty the traps without setting them off. On got caught in the trap with it's front paws still on the floor, sometime during the night. It then proceeded to drag the trap across the floor and snag itself into the stereo speaker wires. In the morning we had to cut the speaker wires and the thing was still alive!

'Course there was speedy, run through apartment bouncing off the walls!

Our dog wasn't like sass. Didn't even notice speedy!”

“Hey I'm still digesting those tomatoes!

Plus it's friday, I'm ready for the weekend.”

“PS please come on over and get your friggin rat friends out of my house so i can sleep.
between dreaming of TT and the mice i didnt get any sleep”

“Sassafras' story reminded me of the squirrel that leapt from a tree to a neighbor’s roof one particularly cold winter. Guess he didn't notice the lightning rod. He ended up impaled and then frozen. With all the snow on the roof, they had to leave him till spring. He looked like a bizarre weather vein and actually functioned as one.”

“I don't fraternise with rats.
Those guys are nasty.”

“Rats are your relatives. What 'til I tell your mommy!”

“sonofabaeach,



ok, deforest entire state of Penn using the crack induced beavers, the ensuing mud slides will sweep PS to nearest ocean. where me and the tank of mako sharks and chainswas await.
laywer types will be asked to weed whipped to deth and survivors sent to india for brown cloud inhalation.

did i type that out loud?”

“i think you did but what the he!! did you say?”

“Shhhhhhh!!!!!

We don't like to talk about, them.”

“And you guys call ME psycho.
sheesh”