The Yellow Rows of Texans

“Would you be pissed?



San Antonio Tourists Showered With Urine
Officials Identify Substance Used In River Walk Attack


SAN ANTONIO -- Test results indicate that a foul-smelling liquid that tourists in San Antonio were showered with on Tuesday night was consistent with stale urine.

Authorities believe someone obtained about two gallons worth of urine from a port-a-potty and then poured it on unsuspecting visitors who were riding a barge on the River Walk.

"Sometimes you might have ... someone discard something off the top of the bridge and hit someone down the River Walk," said San Antonio Park Police Capt. Ray Castro. "A pebble, a rock. It might be a little item of that sort. (But) nothing major of this sort."

The liquid attack, the third reported in a three-hour period, forced 23 people to strip naked and be decontaminated. Visitors were given white suits to wear home while authorities kept their clothing for testing.

"It smelled, it burned," Bill Worden, a victim said. "It was pretty bad."

Police initially detained two teenage boys but they were later released because witnesses could not positively identify them as suspects.

But authorities said if and when the suspects are apprehended, they could face charges ranging from Class C misdemeanor to assault.

In the meantime, police will keeping a closer eye on River Walk barges.”

“Yuck.”

“I might need to get pissed (in the finest British tradition) after an experience like that. It's like they say, it's better to get pissed off than pissed on.”

“Stole the words out of my mouth FG!

I just hope it was the biggest pi$$ing contest ever down there in Texa$$”

“grody to the max! and a half!!”

“I'd probably jump right off the river barge at that point, swim to the side and run up to where the overhang was to kick some arse!”

“<the sound of cardkey being swiped multiple times, with each failure being registered with increasingly loud profanity>

"Give me that damn thing willya?"

"OKAY FINE HERE!"

<The door lock beeps (finally), and we hear our happy couple enter the room. Door slams shut.>

"I THOUGHT THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN!"

"Well it was, but..."

"DAMMIT I KNEW SOMETHING LIKE THAT WOULD HAPPEN!"

"You somehow knew that we would get drenched in piss? Now, Barb, you've made lots of claims to be psychotic, but never psychic..."

"OH SHUT THE #&%!$ UP! THAT IS THE LAST TIME I'M EVER GETTING IN A BOAT!"

"Alright, dear..."”

“Somebody needs to tell those folks what wears the high boots and big hats that the term pi$$ on you is just a figger of speech! Yer not s'posed to actually do it!”

“When ya goes to San Antone, ya bladder take a raincoat, cause urine for a big surprise.”

“heh, heh, heh”

“San Antonio, the number one town in Texas!”

“How 'bout it Chili36? What defense could the culprits present, if caught? I imagine they could claim that Lone Star Brew made them do it!

I'm still in favor of the old hanging tree and the woodshed.

That San Antonio River Walk area is great during the International Festivals, but not with this kind of action.”

“Yer honer, we wuz just pi$$ing in the wind!”

“It wuzn't us yer honer, it was the Texas Rainers.”

“i didn't know it, but some freaks like that kind of thing.

maybe they just got caught?”

“Actually I was thinking that in Texas their best defense would be "Well of course we poured out the p!ss pot on the tourists, ya' didn't want us drop it on native Texans did ya?"”

“Back in the saddle again
Out where a friend is a friend
Where the tourists take a ride
And get pi$$ed on over the side
Back in the saddle again”

“Guess I would feel at home in San Antonio.”

“Official Guide to Texas State Parks (Learn About Texas)
by Laurence Parent


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Wonder if there's an entry for water sports in San Antone???”

“C'mon folks, we can't let this thread die!”

“sheesh, you're right!



GOOOOOO URINE!!!

;-)”

“Two, four, six, eight
On tourists we must urinate!”