first-degree criminal lawnmowing

“Man driving mower on street gets DUI charge

By William Lamb
Of the Post-Dispatch
05/21/2004


Police in Fairview Heights arrested a man this week for riding his lawn mower on a residential street while under the influence of alcohol as he cradled his toddler daughter in his lap, authorities said Thursday.

Paul Schwarztrauber Jr., 46, of the 200 block of Orlando Court, has been charged with felony DUI and driving while his license was revoked, said Fairview Heights police Lt. David Fellows. He was being held at the St. Clair County Jail in lieu of $50,000 bail.

Fellows said police were called to Judy Lane and Palmetti Street about 8 p.m. Monday by a neighbor who told police that Schwarztrauber was riding his mower in the street. The intersection is around the corner from Schwarztrauber's house, police said.

After a battery of sobriety tests, "we found him to be intoxicated," Fellows said. He added that officers were alarmed that Schwarztrauber was riding with his 14-month-old daughter on his lap.

"It's an unusual event, the first one I can recall in 23 years," Fellows said.”

“Man fires up chainsaw, taunts wife over mowing

McMinn County Sheriff’s deputies answered a domestic call at a home on state Highway 39 East where a man and woman had been arguing over the woman’s performance in mowing a lawn.

Deputies were dispatched to the call which was said to involve a man allegedly chasing a woman with a chainsaw, according to reports at the McMinn County Sheriff’s Department.

According to a report filed Monday by Deputy Toby Parsons, a 37-year-old woman who resides on Highway 39 told authorities she was mowing the yard at a Highway 39 home around 4:20 Monday afternoon.

According to the woman’s account, she and her husband began arguing “about her job performance,” reports stated.

The woman said her husband “came to her job site and the two began to argue more,” reports stated. The woman “then said the suspect (husband) came at her in a threatening manner so she pulled out a box cutter to protect herself.”

The man allegedly started up a chainsaw and chased her with it, reports stated.
<snip>”

“Dude, you haven't lived until you've chased your wife with a chainsaw.”

“damn!

I gotta show this to my buddy, his wife mows the lawn all the time. we give him a hard time about it.”

“My wife does the lawnmowing at our place. But she always does a good job.”

“only had to get the saw out once huh?”

“Yep.”

“I didn't start the chainsaw, BTW, I just chased her with it while I made chainsaw noises.”

“Ha Ha!

I have done that in my underwear.”

“A bed-and-breakfast operator in the Woodland-in-Waverly neighborhood has sued his neighbor, claiming that the man intentionally disrupted an outdoor wedding at the house by starting his lawnmower the moment a bride and groom began exchanging vows.
[snip]
Demonbreun has lived in the historic house at 746 Benton Ave. for 10 years, opening his business there five years ago. The business is not only a bed-and-breakfast, but also what is technically called a “historic home event” venue where weddings, receptions and such are held.

William Cochran Jr., the neighbor against whom the suit was filed, lives at 751 Benton Ave. He too operates a bed-and-breakfast and wedding site, The Inn at Evans Mill, 70 miles from Nashville in Smithville, Tenn.

“The little bitty weddings that I have on my front lawn bother Mr. Cochran,” Demonbreun said in an interview.

“He doesn’t like to look at weddings, occasionally, when we have them on the front lawn, and he’s determined to stop them. And so he decided to do so by ruining this most special of all days for this bride and groom and in front of 100 witnesses.”

Demonbreun said that he filed the lawsuit because he is concerned that Cochran will disrupt future weddings at the house in the same fashion.

“… I want to make it clear that this was a regrettable thing that had to be done,” Demonbreun said. “I have no desire to create animosity in the neighborhood.”
[snip]

http://www.nashvillecitypaper.com/index.cfm?section=9&screen=news&news_id=41574”

“ha! what a bunch of a-holes, getting married and all. ;-)”

“It took five years of tender loving care to create a native prairie in the middle of Minneapolis.

It took about 15 minutes for the city to mow most of the waving grasses and flowers to stubble.

The prairie around the YWCA at 2121 E. Lake St. in south Minneapolis was cut because an eagle-eyed city inspector noticed that the grass was higher than the 8-inch maximum allowed by city ordinance.

The same inspector -- and the mower contracted by the city -- apparently didn't see the substantial sign in front of the Y that explained these tall grasses were intended. This was natural prairie, created because it's environmentally friendly and because it was a wonderful teaching lab for city kids.

"Why Don't We Mow?" the sign reads in large letters. In smaller letters there's an explanation of the landscape. "... A mature prairie is a showcase of beautiful grasses and flowers. Prairies take up to three years to mature."

The sign also pictures the native species that were growing at the site.

Fortunately, people at the YWCA were able to stop the contractor before he mowed down the sign and a small portion of prairie around it.

The landscape designer said it won't be known for a few weeks how many of the species were wiped out by the zealous mowing. In the meantime, herbicides have been sprayed on the area to control weeds that would be able to move into the buzz-cut prairie.

"Do you want to know what a bad day is?" asked City Council Member Gary Schiff. "It's when you're told by the chief executive of the YWCA that a beloved wildflower garden has been mowed down by your city. This was the pride and joy of a lot of people, and it had never looked so good as it looked this year."

continued...”

“What the hell does Minnesota need more prairie for? There are a lot bigger and more terrible problems in the world than a strip of city park being mowed down. Take for example the fact that I can’t get the chemicals in my pool balanced correctly.”

“In the Sanctuary, a cul-de-sac where expensive homes hug the tree-lined Anderson Lakes Park, one man sought a perfect view of the blue water beyond the trees.

Eden Prairie officials say Juren Ding cleared the sightlines from his home at 8561 Crane Dance Trail by removing 37 trees from city parkland that rings the lake.

Now Ding, 39, faces a felony charge of first-degree criminal damage to property and could face up to five years of prison and/or $10,000 in fines for illegally cutting the trees valued at $21,600.

"The simple fact is it's clearly somebody trying to get a better view of a natural resource by taking down trees," said Stuart Fox, the city's manager of parks and natural resources.

Ding did not return six telephone messages and two e-mails from a reporter seeking comment.

According to Fox, an anonymous citizen called the parks office to complain that they'd seen Ding cutting trees on city property in January 2004.

At that time, city inspectors told Ding's wife that no one is allowed to cut trees on city property, according to a police report.

More than a year later, in February of this year, police responded to another call that trees were being cut on city property behind Ding's home.

"It's someone else's property that's damaged," Hennepin County Attorney Amy Klobuchar said. "He owns a million-dollar home, and that doesn't entitle him to damage the property."

According to police, Ding admitted to cutting the trees that were 12 to 14 inches in diameter to get a better view of the lake, and he also admitted that he knew the trees did not belong to him.

"He didn't seem to think there was anything wrong. I asked him what a fence means to him," Fox said. "He cut down a lot of trees that weren't his. As any landowner, the city wouldn't go onto anyone else's property and start cutting down somebody's trees."

http://startribune.com/stories/462/5503620.html”

“I'm wondering if the authorities will force him to replant the trees?”

“make the punishment fit the crime....

cut off his legs?


nah, he should do community service maintaining the park grounds for an amount of time equal to the value of the trees - at the prevailing rate for grounds maintenance workers.”

“I think he should have to pay full value for the trees ($21,000) and replace them with quick growing large specimens.
He probably raised his property value $10,000 by creating a view of the lake.
last edited: 7/13/05 3:58:52 PM”

“He should have to pay for a large billboard that blocks his new view from his house, which will feature rotating advertisements for Preparation H, Cruex, Desenex, and Valtrex.”

“Always kills me to see people clearing trees off their property. If you want a piece of property w/o trees, go live on the plains.

As for this, what an a$$hole.”

“Fine him, and the city re-plants some fast growing trees and foot him the bill.”

“But if it inhances the view from his house, his house will be more valuable, hence, his property taxes will go up. Since his propert tax will increase the government tax base has increased. Therefore, this is definitely a case of "emminent domain" seizure for the benifit of Mr. Ding.”

“hang that ding-dong-”

“plant a bunch of female mulberries or ginkos”

“Female ginko trees? Eeee-yew! Man, I've been around those! Roadkill can smell better!”

“What a #&%!$ing Maroon! If they don't make him pay for FULL REPLACEMENT of those trees the city leaders should be drummed out of town, man I cannot believe such incredible arrogance. Walk to the damned lake if you wanna see it.”

“ADRIAN -- Authorities say a man ran through two bottles of wine, then cut through a snowstorm on his lawnmower, riding down the center of the street to reach the liquor store.

Adrian police say they found 49-year-old Frank Kozumplik homeward bound on a John Deere tractor Saturday night, toting four bottles of wine in a paper bag.

He told officers his wife had taken their car to work, and the mower was the only way he could reach the store two miles from his southern Michigan home.

Police told WLEN-FM Kozumplik's blood alcohol level was 2.5 times Michigan's legal limit of 0.08 percent. They arrested him on a drunken driving charge and confiscated the mower.

http://blog.mlive.com/chronicle/2008/01/man_arrested_for_drunken_drivi.html”

“Libbies are so drunk.”

“LOL viloin. that is wild. you should send it to tree for his radio show.
reminds me of Bill Murry in Sweden. busted for drunk driving a golf cart...”

“LOL...Lactose...bummer dude.”