You might be a liberal if...

“You might be a liberal if...



You've ever left your sociology class thinking, "That professor really knows what he/she/it is talking about."

You believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

You think Dan Rather represents media impartiality

Your response to anything Rush Limbaugh says is, "Well, he's fat."

You've stood for animal rights, but wear leather belts and sandals

You are a vegan

You have the entire menu at StarBucks memorized

You abhor censorship unless it's censoring race, religion, Conservatism, Western culture or Rush Limbaugh

You lie in bed at night worried that Pat Robertson might be out to get you

You blame Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but not the spend-happy "Democrooks" for the huge national debt

You tell me how to live by telling me I can't tell people how to live

You think sociology class is fact and/or science

The first word in the description of your hair color is "neon"

You’ve ever tried to protect the ozone layer

You’ve ever given money to a bum so he can buy more, er... food

You have a bumper sticker that says, "You Can't Hug with Nuclear Arms"

You believe diversity represents the answer to everything

You pay a 185 percent markup for organically grown food

You don't want to kill rapists and murderers, but do think abortion's OK

You want more funding for AIDS research but less for cancer/heart research

You think "separation of church and state" is in the Constitution

You stay informed by watching CNN

You lie in bed at night worried that "they're" out to get you

You attribute all inner city problems to the Republicans

You’ve held up grocery lines picking between plastic or paper

You think banning weapons is a solution for ending crime

You think polls should dictate morality.

You think that consenting adults can engage freely in every activity except capitalism.

You believe that global warming is caused by white Europeans and not a normal fluctuation of the Earth's weather patterns.

You think we never gave peace a chance.

You believe the National Rifle Associations helps criminals while the American Civil Liberties Union protects the innocent.

You feel good about the Microsoft court case.

You protested American intervention in Vietnam, but support American intervention in Haiti, Somalia, and Bosnia.

You think the real evil is American oil and tobacco companies and not Cuba or China.

You begin sentences with the words "I feel."

Your driver's license has a hyphen because for you one last name just isn't enough.

You think it takes a village.

You think that the words "to promote the general welfare" in the Constitution mean to promote welfare generally.

You think that conservatives, like preservatives, ought to be federally regulated.

You ever wore earth shoes.

You can't figure out how Ronald Reagan won 49 states in 1984.

You have ever wondered out loud, "Why can't we all just get along?"

You think the New York Times prints all the news that's fit.

You think that Rush Limbaugh is just an entertainer.

You spent Columbus Day reading Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee.

You reach the limits of your talent and then complain that you ran into a glass ceiling.

You wear more ribbons on your lapel than in your hair.

You think that the really dangerous McCarthy was Joe, not Eugene.

You blame the Unabomber's parents.

You fail to see the connection between Lenin and Lennon.

You have ever agreed with Martin Sheen or Barbara Streisand

You think fascism is extremism of the right.

You think the phrase; "separation of church and state" is contained in the Constitution.

You think the Clintons were treated unfairly by the media.

You think the phrase, "A house divided against itself cannot stand." was first uttered by Abraham Lincoln. (Think about it.)

You think a Ph. D. psychologist has added insight into human thought and behavior.

You think student protesters are people with whom school administrators should negotiate.

You think any organization with the name "PIRG" after it is worth donating 5 dollars to.

You think Oliver Stone makes good documentaries.

You think piercing your body parts makes you more of an individual.

You think the biggest problem confronting Los Angeles is police brutality.

You think Mikhail Gorbachev deserved his Nobel Peace Prize.

When you go to parties you introduce the person you're with as, "...and this is my partner..."

When you go to parties you introduce the person you're with as, "...and this is my significant other..."

You think the Constitution really does guarantee a woman the right to an abortion.

You've ever held a lighted candle outdoors.

You think a college campus is improved by having a Women's Studies program.

You believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.

You've ever thought a cut was Draconian.

You believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

You think Joseph McCarthy was paranoid, and the Christian Coalition is out to take over the government, establish a national religion, force their views down your throat, and threaten democracy, itself.

You think Ralph Nader cares about consumers, Unions care about their members, the ACLU cares about civil liberties, the National Education Association cares about education and the People for the American Way care about the American way

You believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

You believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

You believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese communists.

You believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

You believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.

You believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

You believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

You believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

You believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.”

“Troll, troll, troll yer boat...”

“You might be a ninnyhammer if...”

“Hey, Tilt, is that anywhere near Lillihammer?”

“You might have a d!ck2tiny if you cut and paste a bunch of sheeyat for the hundredth time...”

“you know your a troll if you really think anyone reads the stuff you write!”

“LOL, Rosey.


Well, FG, I was looking up 'nincompoop' to make sure I had spelled it correctly when I found the 'ninnyhammer' variation, <G>.”

“Man, Tilt. Your dictionary is discombobulated!”

“Try this dictionary!

It kicks all forms of ass (to hackney a phrase, LOL)!”

“You might be an idiot if you list "separation of Church and State" twice to fill-out your list!

(some of us can, and do, read.)”

“Brilliant retorts, one and all.

I do not mind, in fact I rather enjoy taunting liberals loudly and publicly. I know when I’m baiting them, it’s so easy to bait them and they always bite. It's like having a trained pet.

This dangerous group of subversive agitators must be exposed and smashed like cockroaches.”

“Yeah, just trying to cause a stir definitely fits the perfect definition of a troll. Dude how dare you post something like this on such a known intolerant site.”

“Well, that is certainly a hackneyed phrase on this website, LOL!”

“Thank you birdbrain2tiny for learning me! Gosh you are a whizz. I are tooken up by your brillyint mynd! Cin you learn me slum moore?”

“I am just so sick of the lunatic fringe in this great country. I am certain they are involved in an orchestrated effort to discredit the Bush administration and the war effort.

They think they have a chance to take over this land in the 2002 and 2004 elections and force their deranged agenda on the majority.”

“Dear brain2tiny,
I would love to have you over for a beer. We can discuss the issues. Sound like something you would like to do?
You'll recognize me right away. I wear leather shoes.....”

“'Cawz dammit, we alls should wants a WAR!!!”

“You might be confused if:
You ever felt the compulsion to defend Rush Limbaugh. ( and more than once, in one post)”

“I hear ya, trailhound57. I was directed here by someone who told me about this group of leftist, Marxist leaning, subversive agitators well schooled in Tinfoil Hat Conspiracy Theory.”

“You might be a Republican if...
was the title of a thread only a few months ago and I don't remember a word being spoken against it. It was a joke as is this. Laugh at this guy and at yourself and move on. The responses to this post are only proving his point that his post hit a little to close to home.”

“Now back to backpacking.”

“You might be bird2tiny's soulmate if...”

“LMAO!”

“"Brilliant retorts, one and all.

I do not mind, in fact I rather enjoy taunting liberals loudly and publicly. I know when I’m baiting them, it’s so easy to bait them and they always bite. It's like having a trained pet.

This dangerous group of subversive agitators must be exposed and smashed like cockroaches."
bird2tiny
03:12:23 PM
08/27/02

I'm a conservative, and I still think you're a jacka$$.”

“Hey, I just wanted to join the fun. This is fun, isn't it?”

“Holy Crap I'm a liberal!!!

Well, crap. I was unprepared for this. I'll never know the innate joy of sayng "yessir" to a police officer. I'll never be able to fully comprehend that Ronald Reagan was the best goddam president we ever had. I'll never be able to give freely of my money to the NRA.

I'm devestated. What will my neighbors think?!”

“Yeah! This is all good clean fun!!! Now, where'd I put that 12-gauge? It's time to continue on with the turd, excuse me, bird huntin'!”

“You think George Bush is doing a great job.”

“But seriously, Trailhound, the birdman here is just clowning (that handle is a CLUE, LOL). If his cut&paste were anything truly deserving of thoughtful replies I'm certain they would be forthcoming.

The "You Might Be A Republican" thread sounds like 'the same thing only different'. Anyone who took offense could easily dispose of it, and I have absolutely no doubt that they did. There ARE more than a few Republicans around here.

Me? I'm Left of Center. I'm a Liberal, as far as I can tell, and proud of it. Birdy's act dictates that anyone to the left of Mussolini is an automatic Marxist/Leninist Vegan Atheist Something-or-other. I think the Flaming Liberals that give birdy such nightmares are in pretty short supply... but the more nightmares he has, the better, eh? LOL

You guys take care of the run-of-the-mill affronts to Republicans; we'll patrol this side of the fence, and when the nameless one takes up his "the people who died on 9-11 deserved it" routine again, we can both nuke him.

Deal?”

“If the shoe fits...

What a classic post. Based upon all the whiney posts that followed, I would say it was right on target.”

“i believe most liberals, the run of the mill average common everyday liberal are mostly just misled, and have good intentions. the leadership is much more devious & dangerous and they use deception(in many cases) for votes. it's all about power, and they want it. vote for me cuz that guy is a mean ole rich guy. i've noticed lately on the local commercials how much they try to discredit their opponets, & how little they tell you why you should vote for them. i think liberalism was needed at one time, but the pendjulem has swung too far.”

“If you post anything that is conservative you are a troll? But if you post anything that is liberal, you're not? Just curious.”

“Where's the "You might be a conservative if..." rebuttal?

C'mon, don't let me down. Somebody post something other than sore loser whining about the election.”

“Sore Loserman. What a classic team.”

“There you have it, gordon.

See what I mean Trailhound? We're not exactly hurting for Conservative Thought around here.”

“Hey Strat, I suggest you check out the "Washington Journal" show on C-SPAN: 7 am, 7 days a week.

They routinely show how the same story plays in the Washington Times, the Houston Chronicle, the New York Times, the L.A. Times, the Washington Post, the Chicago Sun-Times, the Wall Street Journal and more.

If a story has legs, you will hear op-eds from nearly all of those sources as well over a few weeks' time.

Magazines I've seen referred to are the Weekly Standard, the Economist, the New Republic, Foreign Policy, the Wilson Quarterly, the American Spectator...

And these are just the ones I can name off the top of my head. I also watch some of the coverage from the floor of the House or Senate, but the hearings and think-tank conferences, debates and such are much more informative than politicians (of any stripe) droning on and on about who they're going to name a post office after.”

“personally. i hate stereotypical categorizing labels. but some just fit.

the bird really annoys you guys huh? fun target.”

“"You might be a Republican if...
was the title of a thread only a few months ago and I don't remember a word being spoken against it."
trailhound57

I searched for a thread like that and it looks to me like there never was one.

"We're not exactly hurting for Conservative Thought around here."
Tilt

Wrong Tilt! We are hurting for conservative thought, its conservative opinion that we have in abundance.”

“It is pretty funny how easily disturbed some of the natives get around here. Some of you seem awfully thin skinned for the amount of daggers you tend to throw..”

“Wrong Ped!

You missed the sarcasm.”

“Actually, there are thoughtful Conservatives on this board, even though this thread certainly didn't start out in a thoughtful manner.”

“If there were only a few thoughtful Liberals.”

“ped, i think my opinions ARE based on thought......not on feelings.


liberals-feel


conservatives-think”

“"i believe most liberals, the run of the mill average common everyday liberal are mostly just misled, and have good intentions."
stratdewd
06:41:00 PM
08/27/02


WRONG!!! They're not well-meaning, dewd. I'm sick of that infernal nonsense about liberals being well meaning but misguided. They're traitors. I think they'll burn in hell.”

“i think they'll see the error in their ways...”

“wow, it's fuuny how a thread like this has brought out trolls from all over. If I had a tiny bird like you I would want to be a trained pet so I could eat you alive!!
I'd like to know just where did you come from?
And do you really care what people think?
Father Goose, I think I need a dictionary just to read the BIG words he wrote. LOL
tinybird for your info that was an inside joke! got it
I think I had a better time understanding what Geobeet wrote!!
I am who I am and im very proud of that!!”

“didn't popeye say that?”

“hehehe”

“haahhhhchaichaichaichai.....”

“Actually, it was 'I yam what I yam, and that's all what I yam...'”