“Man I am very much angery right now I have to take a ruch job at wotk and I am not going to be able to go backpacking this weekend and every thing has gone wrong with it!!!!!

Man I am telling you all that sometimes life can relly suck shi!

8|”

“Bummer!!!”

“Getting up at 3 am to drive 5 hours then stay there for 15 mins and then drive all the way back home is not my idea of a good time!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

8|”

“Ok I know I bitc# to much but I relly had my heart set on backpacking this weekend becuase of the full moon and I have to work all weekend man I need too just quit my job and backpack full time!

8|”

“You need to find a significant other who will support you so you can backpack, if you don't mind being a kept man! :-)”

“AND YOU WERE LAUGHING AT ME!!!!!

your in the same boat I am...working all weekend...and work does not suck...it pays for all the great things we get to do and purchase...so there :-p”

“Oh, work sucks alright!”

“WORK FUC^EN SUCKS!!!!!

8|”

“Well I have to work again this weekend and that means another weekend without backpacking.


So I will do the next best thing.


I bought a 30 pack!!!!!!


8)”

“My job is very rewarding. I can directly help the lives of an average of 60 unemployed people a day. And moving up into management.”

“You sheeple are lazy.”

“pass me one mike!”

“Well I got out of work this weekend but I am going to do work around the house.

I guess one weekend is not going to kill me.

I think????

8)”

“Whenever I feel sick of work I think about all the people who have to work two and three jobs to make ends meet. These hard working folks are lucky to even get two days a week off much less two days in a row. Then I tell myself, “Nigal, you selfish bastard! You get paid to sleep! Be thankful!”.”

“www.forbes.com

MONTREAL (Reuters) - Pleased with workers who scored top marks on customer service, Air Canada recently picked 100 at random to give them a bonus -- a C$5 ($3.78) hamburger coupon that expires in five weeks.

Employees winning the award were sent a personal letter containing the coupon, redeemable until Dec. 31 at the Harvey's hamburger chain, Second Cup coffee shops or other restaurant outlet owned by Cara Operations Ltd., which provides food service for the insolvent airline.

Air Canada said the awards came at no cost to the carrier, mainly because the coupons will soon expire.

Earlier this month, Cara warned its own investors that Air Canada, the dominant airline in Canada and world No. 11, may cancel its catering contract.

Some Air Canada in-flight service employees were forced to forgo a bonus earlier this year when the airline won court protection from its creditors and squeezed some C$1.1 billion of concessions from its unions.

The burger bonus comes as two groups bidding to control Montreal-based Air Canada through equity infusions have offered its chief executive and top restructuring manager multimillion-dollar stock or cash bonuses to remain with the airline through its bankruptcy protection proceedings.”

“So if they hurry to the burger shop they can cash in the coupons while the fat cats deposit fat checks. Ain't America just the greatest place in the whole entire universe?

Whoa Nellie, I got me a hamburger with all the fixins! wooooofrigginhooooooooooo!”

“And that's only 100 of the best chosen at random. The other hard workers got diddly.”

“The letters cost more than the 'bonuses'.”

“Geo dude! It's Canada! In the US they wouldn't even get a Krystal!”

“A friend that works for Continental
won a Ford (something bigger than an Explorer) in a (monthly?)drawing from the group of employees that haven't taken any sick days for a specified period of time.

She probably won't be rushing to Air Canada's next job fair.”

“Yup, it's about time for bonuses to come here, too, hopefully.

My last two years totaled more than what 2poops got for quitting his job.

I wonder what I might get if I quit?”

“MANAGEMENT SPEAK: That's very interesting.
TRANSLATION: I disagree.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: "I don't disagree."
TRANSLATION: "I disagree."

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: I don't totally disagree with you.
TRANSLATION: You may be right, but I don't care.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: You have to show some flexibility.
TRANSLATION: You have to do it whether you want to or not.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: We have an opportunity.
TRANSLATION: You have a problem.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: You obviously put a lot of work into this.
TRANSLATION: This is awful.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: In a perfect world....
TRANSLATION: Get it working and get it out the door!

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: Help me to understand.
TRANSLATION: I don't know what the hell you're talking about, and I don't think you do either.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: You just don't understand our business.
TRANSLATION: We don't understand our business.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: You need to see the big picture.
TRANSLATION: My boss thinks it's a good idea.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: We're going to follow a strict methodology here.
TRANSLATION: We're going to do it my way.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: I didn't understand the e-mail you said you sent. Can you give me a quick summary?
TRANSLATION: I still can't figure out which icon starts my e-mail program.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: We have to leverage our resources.
TRANSLATION: You're working weekends.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: Individual contributor.
TRANSLATION: Employee who does real work.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: Your project is on hold.
TRANSLATION: The project you just spent six months on is dead.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: Wrong answer.
TRANSLATION: You didn't tell me what I wanted to hear.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: You needed to be more proactive.
TRANSLATION: You should have protected me from myself.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: I'd like your buy-in on this.
TRANSLATION: I want someone else to blame when this sumb!tch bombs.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: We need to syndicate this decision.
TRANSLATION: We need to spread the blame if it backfires.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: We have to put on our marketing hats.
TRANSLATION: We have to put our ethics aside.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: It's a no-brainer.
TRANSLATION: It's a perfect decision for me to handle.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: I see you involved your peers in developing your proposal.
TRANSLATION: One person couldn't possibly come up with something this fµcking stupid.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: I'll never lie to you.
TRANSLATION: You'll know I'm lying when my lips move.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: Our business is going through a paradigm shift.
TRANSLATION: We have no idea what we've been doing, but in the future we shall do something completely different.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: Value-added.
TRANSLATION: Damn Expensive.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: Human Resources.
TRANSLATION: A bulk commodity, like lentils or cinder blocks.

MANAGEMENT SPEAK: The upcoming reductions will benefit the vast majority of employees.
TRANSLATION: Grab your ankles.”

“I can't believe that kind of thing happens!

I just finished a negotiation with a school last month. The school was close to $1,000,000 in debt, which they accumulated over the past 2 years. The debt was not due to the expense of the employees I represented, they were the lowest paid in the county, it was mainly due to poor forecasting and mismanagement by the inept treasurer and superintendent. The Board offered our employees a 2% raise, which culminated in a $40,000 overall expense for 2003. We asked for 4%. My team settled on 2.5% due to BS threats of cuts.

The day after we ratified, the inept treasurer recieved a $15,000 bonus. The check cleared two weeks ago, probably the same day he resigned to take another higher paying position at another school district. He was able to keep the cash bonus for god knows what.

Welcome to America.”

“I also should add this: Combined with the tax cut refund the treasurer recieved, and his bonus, he could probably buy a nice fat SUV. Now if that isn't trickle down economics, I don't know what is!”

“In the above scenario, here is the scorecard with our public tax dollars:

Treasurer bonus $ & school debt:

Winners:
Treasurer
Automobile Manufacturer
Oil Company

Losers:
School kids
School employees
Local small businesses

Treasurer's tax cut from George

Winners:
George
Treasurer
Automobile Manufacturer
Oil Company

Losers:
Schools
Environment
Small local businesses
Middle Class

Wow - this really makes a ton of sense!”

“Sounds like management may not have negotiated in good faith. Open it back up.”

“Set to the theme of Mr. Ed

My boss is a dork of course,
He looks like the back of a horse of course,
He's fat and old and a dork of course,
and I wish that he'd drop dead.”

“he, he. Doesn't work for me. My bosses are women.”

“So is mine. Still thought it was funny though.”

“works for the job I recently quit, though. To a

T”

“Works for my boss! You think I could impress him with it?”

“This just in: meeting notice. Top level agenda to discuss exit strategy on ladies denim. 5:30 to 7:30 pm!! That should be illegal. I'll show them denim exit strategy!”

“Well, after sweet-talking her for a little while, I usually start with a little nuzzling, then slowly work my hand down to her zipper...

...Oh, not what you're talking about?”

“My boss is a woman, but she doesn't suck. What a shame.”

“why is this in bold. I'm not typing in bold???”

“Not in bold for me...”

“Oh, now I'm p!ssed AND blind.”

“Citibank used to do that all the time. 5-6-7 pm phone conference meetings about stupid things. No meeting ever accomplished anything. It's one thing if there is a need or there was work to be accomplished Sure I'll be there but these people would just talk crap. And they always have the audacity to ask if you can make it knowing full well that you can't say no without getting a black mark.

I finally had enough and once they were setting the next meeting.
Moderator: Ok, UI team. Mike can you attend?
Me: Let me check my calendar. Hmmm...Unfortunately I can not attend as I have my life scheduled for the after 5pm slot everyday this year.

~Insert silence~

Moderator: Ummm...Ok.”

“LOL, ya think they got the point?

I've had bosses like that before too.”