Women: What do they really want?

“SWF seeks SWM with bad a$$ truck. Send picture of truck.

;o)

Sorry bacpac, I want my own truck.”

“so god noticed a guy who had been really good and kind and worked very hard at his job. He descended into a human form and talked to the fella and said he wanted to reward him for being and living the life he was given so well by giving him anything he wanted, just one thing.

The man thought it over and told god that he always wanted to go to Hawaii, but was afraid to fly in a plane or sail on a boat. He thought if god could build him a bridge across the pacific ocean from California he would dig a road trip to the Hawaiian islands.
well, god shook his head and said that such an undertaking would take years and years and would be hard even for god since he works thru manpower mostly and couldn't he choose something that could be granted in a more timely fashion and be something just a tad bit easier for him to fullfill?

the man thought again and said, "well, i have always wanted to understand women better...can you give me that ability?"

god hesitated and sighed..."did you want a 2 or 4 lane bridge?"”

“aye caramba”

“theres a woman who wants me!









and Khatru too.”

“Come on stikmon. The only reason you got that dog was to attract chicks.

You are just hoping your dog finds a girl and she notices you at the end of the leash.”

“You keep him on a leash, don't you?”

“bacpac, I read that other thread. So are you engaged or what?

And..... if so, was it because women go for the BIG TRUCK??? Followed the leash right back to you??

lol”

“yes, I keep a leash on him...as for being a chick magnet...he is...but he keeps bringing and attracting the 12 year olds...I make him return them and bring back mommy...to date...he has only caught me one woman, but she wasn't a keeper...I got tossed back...lol”

“Are you Sarabelle's lover? rofl”

“I want a guy who when there is a problem does what is nessesary to work it out.”

“MEN'S RULES

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.

1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a
calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Check your oil! Please.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your
girlfriends.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of
mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, backpacking or big pickup trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)

1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz
together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I'm going to take crap for this and I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.”

“I think the women in Ohio must want French guys...

This would explain a Lot, LOL”

“People have asked me that for ages, but I prefer to remain mysterious.”

“I have followed this thread some. It is my general observation that the guys don't know and the girls don't agree.

citori - Great list. My favorite was #1.”

“men marry women hoping they won't change....women marry men hoping they will











i didn't...”

“is your name something that you enjoy to do to yourself????

Animal sex is nothing to joke around with and I think your joke sucks!!! and is in poor taste...I can take a joke, but I refuse to take yours...thank you for your gift, but you can keep it.”

“women want a maid.”

“LMAO to all of this!! that list is from Maxim, isn't it, citori? i do agree with #1. hehe! but for real, i always thought the toilet seat thing shouldn't be an issue. why should guys have to put it down for me? i don't put it up for them.”

“I was never able to figure that one out either lyra. I often wondered if there was some physiological reason like, maybe if they have to lean over to put the seat down, women pee all over themselves. Anyway, I couldn't find a reason, so I asked my wife. Apparently, the answer is that some women are taught that touching the toilet seat with anything but their @ss (and some go further than that) befouls them in some manner, such that they'll actually go and find another bathroom rather than put the seat down. Of course, there are some who complain about it just to have something to complain about, but I digress...

Personally, I always put the seat down after raising it, and I'm trying to train my son to do the same thing. Perhaps I should concentrate more on getting him to flush, though....”

“LOL! i would hope my bladder isn't so weak that i would pee all over myself bending down! the only time it's been disastrous is if i go at night, and don't turn the light on, and fall in a bit. but i'd rather do that than sound like an unreasonable b-tch complaining about it. i can get more of what i want in the long run by at least pretending to be reasonable sometimes!
;-)
(Tarpy almost always puts it down, though...maybe that's one reason i don't complain, tehe!)”

“I've explained my handle several times. Not again.

Sorry I offended you. I never intended to.”

“I've always been of the opinion that EVERYONE should put the lid down! Keeps the pets from drinking from it. It's especially dangerous for them if you put that blue stuff in your tank.

.02”

“I say men who love to go backpacking and have lots of trail sex!

8p”

“:o)”

“My girlfriend rocks!!!!!!

8)”

“I trained my girls to keep the toilet seat up. It took them a few times to learn that I meant it when I said that if I found it down, I'd just go all over it.”

“My sister trained her husband to kneel down to keep the splash to a minimum. That beats you PICKING on your girls any day!”

“Have I said that my Girlfriend rocks!!!!!!

Hheheheheh!!!!!

8)”

“I have seen Crazy Mike and Evergreen rock.... well, so to speak 8)”

“woman want to put a Bulls Eye in the middle of the Toilet bowl. cause you cant seem to find your target any other way!!”

“Who gives a $hit?
(hope Mother Goose doesn't see this...)”

“LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


8)”

“Hey, Leaf. Put a bullseye on your leopard skin thong and I'll bet some feller'd find the target...”

“Father Goose your so pus.. whipped!!!
say it out loud
or are ya yeller?”

“Nah, I'm white as rice. Say what out loud???”

“All women want is for the toilet seat to be kept down..... well that explains everything.”

“BB that is so very true!

8p”

“Ahhhhhhhhhh young grasshoppa buddha bear..... now you see”

“The seat thing has never been a issue for me since I normally use the sink.”

“I think the only reason the seat thing is an issue is because we as a society are so used to being gender sensitive in public restrooms. When we get home, we forget we aren't in a public restroom. That is why I love the woods...go where you want, when you want, how you want. No seats in the woods. Infact, there is nothing trivial, really, in the woods.”

“bath tub to be an easier target.”

“Bathtub, shmathtub...golden showers, anyone?”

“What do women want?

That's easy..Intimacy. Period - it says it all.

Ladies, if you're honest with yourselves, you'll agree.”

“Briar, you kill me. I couldn't care less if the seat is left up or down. It takes less then 3 seconds to put it down or lift it up. No big deal.”

“see, newgirl is smart. She must look before she sits.”

“The other thing is that I've worked almost exclusively w/ men (bodyshop & sawmill) for 3 yrs. now. They don't have a special potty for me and they don't do me special "put the seat down" favors. I had to buck up about it.”

“Eeewwwww!!!intimacy!!!are you sure Tex?


I think that this question is impossible to answer. There are so many ifs and buts. Women are all different. I think that the list would have about 50 points on it, with 15 being mandatory, 15 being very important and the rest being very nice if they were included but are not a requirement. Of course, each woman would have a different list and that list would change throughout her lifetime.

So what yous guys? Life happens, people adapt and deal with it. In some countries it is common not to even have toilet seats.”

“"What do women want?"
"Who gives a $hit?
(hope Mother Goose doesn't see this...)"
Father Goose
06:56:33 PM
09/24/02


I'm telling! Heeheehee.”

“Meet your soulmate, then none of this really matters...”

“Ahhhhhhhhh... a new diversion! Define "soulmate"”