“Watching people eat cheese sqeezed on a cracker from a can is always amusing.


Just thought I'd share.”

“dah!”

“So this midget walks into a bar. A bum looks at the midget and says "I know I don't know you, but I'd love to take you home and make love to you all night." The midget says "I'll take a bourbon." The bartender says "Look, we don't serve midgets here."

The midget looks around and says "I was on the wrong side of the bar, sir!"”

“So this monkey walks into a bar. A kangaroo cozies up to the monkey and says "For a quarter I'll go upstairs with you and show you more pleasure than you can possibly imagine." The monkey sits down and says "I'll bet anyone ten bucks I can get up on the bar and do the Hokey-Pokey!" The kangaroo looks around and says "I'd do something nobody in this bar has ever seen before to get a drink."

So the monkey says "I'm a frayed knot!"”

“Stop right where you are, boyfoot bear with teaks of Chan!”

“Whhhhaaaaaat?”

“random joke punchline generator”

“Let a swine be your gorilla in a grainy, grainy bay
And if your Swede decries, just tell her that a swine will always pay...”

“Y'all are really not as scary as you think.”

“ULTRAPacker and Tilt go backpacking. After a long day of being free and gay on the trail Tilt decides he needs to take a dump. He finds a log and begins the defication process. Tilt finishes and than realizes he doesn't have any butt paper. He yells to ULTRAfudgePacker to see if he has any. ULTRAPacker asks Tilt if he has a dollar. Tilt says yes. ULTRAPacker says use it to wipe your buttocks. 20 minutes later Tilt emerges from the woods with crap all over his hands. ULTRAPacker asks, How did that happen? Tilt replies, You ever try to wipe your bung with 3 quarters, 2 dimes and a nickel?”

“something you would like to tell us UP?”

“Someone needs a hug.”

“Some people are sick and some people aren't that well off.”

“LOLOLOL”

“GRIN”

“Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!”

“Okay Tilt, what are you on today?”

“Don't put all your Basques in one exit...”

“You went to the airshow, didn't you? The exhaust fumes from the jets got to you, didn't they?”

“Nope, but I went to the Blue Angels show last year (or was it 2000?). It was way cool how the

NOISE

from those FA-18s set off all the car alarms....

Fumes... What f y u m z ? ?”

“Probably drank the jet fuel.”

“Hey, it's just a l'il kerosene...”

“Tilt...it was the vibrations fault.”

“No kidding.”

“that's the most rediculous thing i've ever hoid.....”

“bumper sticker seen this weekend:

I'm Pro-Life Preserver...
and I boat.”

“EVERYTHING is amusing when you're buzzed.”

“Have you ever been in a comedy club that didn't have a liquor licence?

Those poor ba$tards were DYIN' up there!”

“IM BORED!”

“This is somewhat amusing.”

“sock monkeys are amusing”