Personal ads we'd like to see

“Men are stuck in a rut.

"Wanted: A gal who is as comfortable in an evening gown as she is in blue jeans."

Maybe this:

Wanted: A gal who is as comfortable in her French maid dress-up outfit as she is in her Daisy Duke shorts.

?????”

“HELL, YEAH!!!!!”

“BTW, darlin' we're not stuck in a rut, but ruttin' is frequently on our minds...”

“a woman who fits both of those ads would be nice”

“So do you bugle, Father Goose?”

“An EVENING GOWN????? C'mon, Ewker, get real, dude! ;-)”

“Tell ya what, lizs, with the right inspiration, I just might! :-D”

“Whoa! THAT didn't work! :-D”

“that's better...”

“FG, she has the evening gown over the French Maid outfit, of course it is one of those rip away gowns”

“Wanted:

A woman with the beauty of Miss America.... and the intelligence of at least a 6th grader.”

“OK, let's try one looking for guys.
(You guys CAN TRY THIS AT HOME, TOO, YA KNOW!!... Where's Geobeet when you need him??!)

Wanted:
A man as handsome as a Ken doll, without the plastic hair.”

“Dang, Ewker, I wish I had thought of that!
Frankly, lizs, I think I'd prefer Miss Brazil...”

“I dunno. Ken's so...well, plastic...”

“lizs, are you Ken's Barbie”

“OH Ewker, that would be a good one.

Wanted:
Ken DOLL to go with my Barbie.

LOL!”

“wonder why they never had a backpacking Ken and Barbie”

“Actually, Ewker, if memory serves, they did.”

“FG,I didn't know that, the useless information you can learn on here is overwhelming.”

“lizs, just curious which ad fits you ;-)”

“tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock...”

“Ok, Lizs what does "long walks in the rain mean?" Is that a metaphor for something else?”

“How bout some buddy with a reeeeel stinky butt that does gooooood skratchin to.
(o:3”

“I saw that they just dethroned Miss World (or was it Miss Universe) because she had a mind and a life.”

“You forgot "wrassles good, too"”

“really, pedxing? what happened?”

“It dont madder if they dont ressel cuz I wold ressel them up good any ways.”

“She took time off to a) defend a dissertation,l and then had the temerity to ask for more leave to take care of an ailing relative (grandmother?).”

“why that little b-tch! i can see why they kicked her out. ;-)”

“The only articles I could find now had a slightly different focus, but the key line in the stories I see on Yahoo is: "Fedorova told the conference that her removal had been rooted in a dispute with organizers over a two-month break for her to defend her doctorate."

Fedorova told the conference that her removal had been rooted in a dispute with organizers over a two-month break for her to defend her doctorate.

(I just saw the photos of her, and I think I'm in love - smart, focused, gorgeous and with good priorities. Can we take up a TT collection to send me to Russia to meet her?).”

“That's my personal ad, and I'm sticking to it:

"DWM seeks former Miss Universe, must be intelligent, accomplished, gorgeous, have strong principles and values. Please be eager to find happiness (for however long it lasts)with middle aged TT and backpacking addict who lives with a dog and two teenage sons. Interest in backpacking and snowshoe trips a plus."”

“Woman I can feel close to who will leave me alone.

(Ya, I stole it from Elayne Boozler, so what?)”

“You can't say beerbelly, so you girls can run an ad that says,"Wanted: man with large, liquid grain storage facility, for stimulating conversation and possibly mad, passionate love making."”

“I'll certainly pitch in to send you to Russia. Gotta be a one-way ticket, though.”

“Ok this isnt a personal add but I thought it was funny.

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers

Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover

AND


For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy.

Great Dames for sale.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.”

“Man needed. No expierience neccisary, will train.”

“i thought you had a man”

“or was that couisin/man”

“California girl seeks excitement in the mountains. Prefer doing it with cousins but willing to learn from anybody with experience.”

“please show me how...Any takers..??”

“Ok this is not even funny how the hell did you get my name?”

“Hey, Blisstered, nice try but BUG OFF!”

“Please both of you stop useing my name? Its not funny anymore.”

“Please show me”

“What is your (or, "our") email address, Blistered? Have you offered one?”

“The only one who will know my e-mail address is Phil who I sent a pic too wtf you guys messing with me?”

“No, not you, BlissTURD. I'm talkin' to the original here.”

“No, I just want to send you the password for this "torll" userid. I didn't mean to upset you, really.”

“CAn anyone show me how?”