Hay baby what's your sign?

“please tell me that this really dosent work any more

what are the best and worst pick-up lines you have heard?

or even have said yourself?”

“Hey are those astronauts pants? cause your ass is out of this world.”

“Hush up baby and git in the truck.”

“Tilt, you forgot the "I don't care if you are my cousin" part.”

“Howdy cousin, wanna go on a hayride?”

“Wooooo Hoooooooooo!!”

“This reminds me of a commercial, I believe for Mavi Jeans, where a girl is a party (wearing Mavi jeans of course) and guy keep trying to pick her up. She endures several lousy pickup attempts, including one pathetic loser who writes "Are you in season?" on a napkin and presses it against a window for her to read. Finally, she sits down, and this funky-looking Asian dude sits down next to her, and apparently asks her in a nice way to dance. She gets up and dances with the funky Asian dude because he was nice to her.

So, my favorite pick-up line: Hi. What's your name? How are you this evening?”

“My sign's WRONG WAY.”

“Not "DEAD END"?

Sorry, I couldn't resist...”

“ONE WAY
Or another
Gonna gitcha gitcha gitcha gitcha
ONE WAY
Or another”

“slippery when wet”

“And How.

<VBG>”

“Lookin' for Mr. Goodbar? Well, here he is.”

“Do you believe in love at first sight?
or should I go past you again?”

“Oh man, let's not get started. I've heard some of the lamest crap on the earth.

One of the funniest, was when I was in Germany. This very drunk German guy came up to me (we were in a small, literally underground bar and everyone knew I was American) and said in a slur of German accented English, "I looooove your toes."”

“This face is leaving in 5 minutes. Be on it.


(or is that too 'forward'?)”

“Tilt, you're posting really well for an extremely drunk guy. LOL! you're in rare form today...

what, like asking someone's sign isn't a legitimate question?”

“Again w/ the hideous Tilt! Christ!”

“I was also at a party once and a professor of mine (female) was in attendance. Her man kept kinda' hitting on me all night and a guy friend of mine kept trying to get him to back off and remember that he was there w/ his chica, my professor. Finally, I decided it was just better to go home and be done w/ the potentially horrible situation. The guy was plowed at that point. As I'm heading out the door, w/ my prof. standing right behind him, he yells, "But I wanted to SLEEP w/ you!" It was so disgusting and desperate. Thankfully, my prof. got the clue to how lame he was and I still got an A in the class.”

“Dat vas me, und I luffed yer toes! Dey vas so twinkling, ya?”

“See, now I'm going to have to recount every yucky "getting hit on" incident. I shouldn't have started.

Also, I'd be interested to know what sorta' line Tarp Rat had worked out for Lyra when he met her. Was it bizarre Lyra? LOL!”

“Mustache rides are normally a quarter,,,,,


but for you they are free.”

“Yuck Chili”

“oh, he was very suave, newgirl! he just asked if i was into monkeys...the rest is history. ha!

but for real. first of all, i wasn't sure whether he liked me, or my friend, or if he was just really friendly. my friend Cheryl was like, "he likes you!" and i was like, "no, no, no, he likes you!" LOL!

so anyhoo, he was wearing a ring with suns on it, and i told him that i liked it, 'cause i'm really into suns and moons and all that kinda stuff. and so you know how the sun is representative of masculine energy and the moon is representative of feminine energy...

so he was like, "yeah, i need a girl in my life to provide the moons." or something like that. awwwww!

then later, he asked if i had a boyfriend, and i said, "only a few" (just kidding, i said no!), and he said, "that's good."

hehe! he was just really adorable...i don't think he was using lines per se.
;-)”

“Shux, I thought 'hideous' was a prerequisite for this thread, LOL


Have you been listening to Imus again?”

“I like George's line on Seinfeld: "I'm 30 years old, bald, unemployed and live with my parents" and it worked!”

“Lyra, that story was so cute... I'm going to have to hurl, LOL”

“I hate George!
Those Germans really don't know how to pickup a woman. I guess that's why I ended up with an american. LOL”

“I just introduce myself to the chicas and they go home with me.”

“yeah right.”

“Unmaintained road, use at your own risk.”

“i'm glad to be of assistance, Tilt. 8)”

“Ever been to a Holiday Inn?”

“Oh, that is totally sweet Lyra. I love that story.

Aero, I love that when George scores w/ that line. Cracks me up.

I don't think I've really ever heard a sauve line. I like plain, simple, like what Bit said.”

“I got the names mixed up of two girls back in college and told my friend I liked the wrong one. So he set up this double date thing for the 4 of us one night and I figured it out too late, so I said "what the hell" and went with the other one.

I think my line was something like "Oh #&%!$"”

“HAHAHA! That's hilarious Aero!”

“ut-oh, Aero! did she like that line? maybe if she was German.
nevermind...”

“OK, here's my favorite "pick-up line". I have never actually used this, but I've always thought it was funny.

Hey, that's a nice dress. Looks good on you too. I bet it'd look better in a crumpled in a ball next to my bed though.”

“They were like twins anyway so it didn't matter.

I used to use "Didn't we go to different high schools together?" as a screening process. If they nodded with a vague stare and said "HMMM, maybe", I'd move on.”

“thats kinda like
"whoes burried in Grants Tomb"?”

“1. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
2. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
3. Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?
4. Hi. Are you cute?
5. I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little. not enough
6. I'm easy. Are you?
7. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
8. I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.
9. Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
10. So....How am I doin'?
11. You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.


12. Do you have a boyfriend? No. Want one?(if yes: Want another one?)
13. Do you have a boyfriend? (Yes) Do you mess around? (No) Would you hold still while I do?
14. When she's leaving:"Hey, where are you going?" Answer:"home." You:"You're not just gonna leave me here like this are you?"
15. Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.
16. Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
17. Does your boyfriend know where you are?
18. The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
19. If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
20. (Approach a group of them) I'm gonna have sex with you, you, and you. Alright, who's first?
21. (give the person a bottle of tequila) Drink this, then call me when you're ready.
22. Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
23. Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap otel room across the street.
24. As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No. Damn!
25. I bet you \$20 you're gonna turn me down.
26. All this could be yours for one low, low price!
27. Believe it or not, gettin' laid is still hard when you're this good-looking.
28. I'm friendly and slow moving!
So, do you like fat guys with no money?”

“aero,
I have a friend that had that same thing happen to him. Only in his case he ended up liking the other chick better and now she's his wife. Hows that for a mistake.”

“Maple leaf...... those are all just too damn funny!!! ROFLMAO! What's worse, is I've actully heard some men use those!!! LMHO!

I don't have to use a "line".... all it takes.... is eye contact. Hehe!

Well, most of the time... I know when there's a "spark" and how to act upon it. I have always trusted my "gut instinct" and 90% of the time, it's been right. (I leave 10% for a margin of error... but it's rarely used! LOL)”

“1. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
2. Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!

4. Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.

5. Do you have a boyfriend? [No] Want one? [Yes] Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me.

6. Do you want to see something swell?

7. Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. What? (Reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP!

8. Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?

9. Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?

10. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

11. I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples.

12. I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.

13. I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.

14. I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.

15. My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off you blouse in a public place.

16. No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?

17. Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?

18. Pardon me, are you in heat?!

19. Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?

20. So, you're a girl huh?

21. Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.

22. Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.

24. Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring some friends because my face seats fiv e.

25. You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.

26. You make my software turn to hardware!




You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.”

“I always liked:

Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?”

“Uh, hi, would you like to cook for a guy with a broken leg?”

“Probably the best non-verbal ‘line’ I ever saw used was back during the 80’s. We were at some club that featured big hair cover bands. There was a girl sitting at the bar with feather earrings. This moron came up behind her and started nibbling on her ear. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone slapped so hard. I can still hear it.”

“So how did it feel when she slapped you???”

“It hurt!”