Love Poem 2

“Newgirl was the most fascinating girl I've ever known.
Since I met her, I could no longer eat styrofoam.
Usually girls would crowd around me when I go to the store
But I told them I was too busy for them, rearranging my sock drawer.
Because after all I'm such a manly macho stud
And I make the other guys look like a giant glob of mud.
Anyway I saw Newgirl at the dance benefit for the "Save the hedgehogs" Foundation.
I was thinking, "Thank goodness I left my date behind at the train station".
I spotted her from across the room
She was making towers out of cheese blocks in gloom.
She said she felt uncomfortable with everyone staring at her.
I said, "That's what you get for wearing nothing but a glow-in-the-dark
clown nose and swim flippers and green and purple polka dots all over your body; it might create a stir."
I asked her where she was from and she said, "Earth."
She said this in a way that had a touch of mirth.
"Did you know I used to be a pogo dancer?", she inquired.
"Don't you mean'go-go' dancer?" "Oh, so that's why I was fired!"
She said she wanted to be a nun
But they were'nt allowed to race around a crowded antique store on tricycles while singing the Hungarian National Anthem backwards and having a fight with a cherry Hi-C filled squirt gun.
I'll never forget our first date.
It was really great.
She drove me in her car which was colored like a yellow flower.
She was driving it backwards in the wrong lane on a rainy night without our lights on and going 143 miles an hour.
We went to see a movie about giant psycho teddy bears that killed
orthodontists with fingernail clippers and my, how the blood splattered.
I didn't even mind when Newgirl burped through the whole film and laughed in a shriek so loud that all glass objects within a 19 mile radius shattered.
But the rest of the audience did, so they threw her out.
But I didn't want to leave with her yet, because I was trying to catch the neato car chase scene I heard about.
After the film, we stopped to visit a blood bank and she asked for a souvenir.
Then after that, she ran over a cute baby deer.
She ran over it three times, as I recalled later.
Then she said, "Wait, I already have something in the refrigerator!"
After the date we stopped in her apartment, room 5A.
Of course, it would have been nice if she'd parked the car outside first, but what the hey.
I can't quite come up with good words to describe her place yet.
But she showed me the cute way she dressed her pet.
I told her it must be hard to put jeans and a tie-dyed T-shirt on a housefly.
She said all she had to do was give it a good try.
She said she was half Dutch, half German, half Japanese, half Italian, and half Irish.
And half Bulgarian, half Russian, half Spanish, half Mongolian, and half Swedish.
Her skin was smooth and her hair was long.
When you honked her nose, it went "ding dong".
She had a good personality and her looks were awesome.
I loved it when she made me brush her teeth and floss 'em.
She would say, "Let's make love on the cot."
And I'd say, "But that's what we're doing now!" and she's say, "Oh yeah, I forgot!"
Her voice was so placid,
I loved the cute way she made a funny face when she said words like "nitroglyceric acid".
She'd hang around graveyards to get ingredients for stews
and enter circular saw blindfold frisbee competitions to try to win artificial tattoos.
I loved her from her hands to her feet. From her elbows to her knees. From her cerebral aqueduct to her Achilles tendon.
Even when she juggled lawn mowers for some guy named Brendan.
She left me and I miss her.
Now I hope an electrified cactus will walk up and French kiss her.
If you see her today, teaching ballet to ducks,
Tell her that she still owes me 20 bucks.
Tell her that I'm doing well,
And for all I care she can go to a really hot place where people wear red suits and it's really hard to ice skate.”

“I worked hard on this. Newgirl is worth it, though.”

“There's gotta be a law against this idiot...”

“Buzz off filth, she's MINE!”

“But is it art?”

“I thought the 'swim flippers' were a nice touch, LOL”

“LOL @ Tilt (you ain't right, man)!”

“Nope! Not even close!

<G>


for ULTRAPacker”

“Isn't stalking someone on the internet a class B felony?”

“I am NOT stalking ULTRAPacker, LOL”

“Guffaw!!!”

“too funny tilt!
I took a chance and clicked on it. im glad i did”

“LOL @ Tilt!!

and that poem is an absolute riot...newgirl is so lucky.
;-)”

“Don't you wish you were in her shoes, lyra?”

“nah, i'm stalking too many people myself...if someone started stalking me, that would just get too confusing. by the way, the dinner you had last night looked really good.”

“You should have rung the doorbell. I had another can of clam chowder...”

“foiled again!”

“lol....”

“Perverts”

“We try!”

“Where's newgirl?”

“I think she went to get her Leupold-scoped .30-06 to drill ol' ULTRANucklehead through the horns...”

“she hiding for you!!!

and i don't blame her!


if shes not in hiding now, she will be once she has read that poem.”

“Hiding for you??? Uh, Leaf, you been smokin' banana peels again?”

“Do I detect the smell of sour grapes? hmmm... me thinks... never mind.


Tilt! I generally don't like trolls but you've been cracking me up lately. :o)”

“Tilt a troll...why, I had no idea...

sunshine, you bee smokin' banana peels with the Leaf???”

“Father Goose, I don't read TT like I did in the past so I don't know posters as well as I did in the past. I consider a poster a troll until they do one of the following: attend an organized hike, be identified by another TT poster, or share enough about themselves thereby making themselves vulnerable to TT abuse. I've not seen any of these.

Or were you referring to sour grapes? Me thinks ULTRAPacker may be of the female persuasion. Only a blind man or a homosexual would write such things about newgirl. She's young, beautiful and sweet. Unfortunately, she'll outgrow the naivety.”

“Well, now that you mention it, I don't know of anyone who claims to have hiked w/Tilt.
As for ULTRADickhead, I can't figure out where he/she/it is coming from, and I really don't care, other than the fact the he/she/it is getting really annoying. Not as annoying as it must be to newgie. I must say though, she's been holding her mud rather well. I have a difficult time visualizing it (UP) as female, though. I think it's bacpac...”

“A quick trip to the "TT Injured Reserve" thread will identify Tilt as such. I also had wondered if Tilt had ever hiked with anyone, but since I don't class him as a troll, I never really worried about it.

I'm sure Tilt will be along on some trips as soon as he is able. Unless of course he's skittish about that "hiking with people you've met on the Internet" thing...”

“"A quick trip to the "TT Injured Reserve" thread will identify Tilt as such.

Uh, bit; A troll, a gimp, what...”

“Ooops. Guess that wasn't very clear. He's on the Injured Reserve, rehabilitating a sprained ankle. Has been ever since he started posting.”

“I wrote this poem. I've been so upset at the racists on this site that I decided to vent my rage at a common target of black anger, the attractive white woman. So now it's out, I am the author.”

“Knock it off, bacpac...”

“FATHER Goose....you benn doin all dat trollin under the ULTRApacker or wanker names..boy oh boy...sums peoples sure are gonna be upset”

“(chuckle...)”

“I was going to say something, but it looks like you folks got it sorted out, <VBG>.

Yes, that $&$@#$* ankle has taken Twice as long to get going again, which has sucked All Forms Of Ass, <GRRRRR>! And I've been relegated to dayhiker status for a over a solid year, now (not that there's anything Wrong with dayhiking...).

I don't think it helped that I played soccer all through high school and had a nasty habit of missing the ball and kicking the GROUND about twice a week! That was kinda tough on the old ankle, too

OH... I *did* manage to do a trip to Cumberland Gap with CGHiker and some other weirdos before my 'right wheel' took a turn for the worst (so I *do* have a witness or two out there, <G>).
And I've BP'd with people who have BP'd with Mary Phyl, but I guess that's just 'hearsay'. I think Pathman has met some of those people too... but I don't know if he'd 'fess up...

Hey, I don't want to divilge EVERYTHING on the 'Net! I like to retain some Air of Mystery, ok? (read: Swamp Gas, aka methane, LOL)... especially when there's folks like ULTRAPacker on the prowl!

<SHEESH>


[
now if my connection drops and I have to type all this again, I'm gonna be pissed! LOL

maybe I ought to get it notarized?

Ya Know... I think Sunshine may be on to something. I mean... people who have known me for years say I'm "not really there" <G>
]”

“I've met some people who have met Tilt. Does that count?

I also knew him at Life on the Trail and OAN, before I ever came here.

Same Tilt everywhere you look. Well sort of. He's a little looser here. ;-)”

“I'll give you credit for being your own person, Tilt. :)”

“That was easy.

Tilt also need a cool $2M for his startup software company. "Virtual Chocolate"”

“Just goin' wit de flow, doncha know...

<G>

I'm glad to hear you're all healed up after that run-in you had wearing those skis. Snowshoes are Much more my speed, LOL... but I can spaz out at any time. I have basic disagreements with gravity.”

“""The curiosity to know things has been given to man as a scourge." ~ Apochrypha " The curiosity is killing me...

"Just goin' wit de flow, doncha know.." You're not a yooper because that's an Irish accent that many non-yoopers attribute to yoopers. A true yooper would say, "Just going wit da flow, eh?" or "Ya, you betchya, eh?"

And that link you have... curiouser, and curiouser...
The time! The time! Who has the time?! -- getting slap happy here. I'm off to bed.

Goodnight!”

“You did it Tilt. You sent Sunshine away for the night. I told you to be careful.”

“I was just trying to be friendly...


Sometimes I have that effect on people... that 'running and shrieking' thing, LOL

Excuse me... THANG. I Am a native Georgian after all, &lGt>

(how did Sunshine know? both my grandmothers were second generation Irish)”

“You're really adorable Ultra. Can we quit now?”

“I said I love you and then you said, me too
is this the way of love and what lovers do
alone I`m wondering, are my feelings right
another day without you, an endless night
my dreams are so real, they`re often more than I can take
you`re with me when I`m dreaming, but gone when I awake
I feel you right there next to me and it`s like your lips are on my skin
when I awake I`m happy for the moment, but more alone than I`ve ever been
I miss you more than anything I said in any of the lines above
do what you gotta do to get here Darling, but Please hurry LOVE”

“Seems like the sands of time and the powers that be
do all they can to scatter us and keep you away from me
because if I could, you know I would, be there with you tonight
was I holding you and kissing you now, it would make things right
I try to make another night without you, but it`s more than I can stand
seems I`m forever without love and always writting love letters in the sand”

“I loved your long fingers, your smile and your tiny toes
God, I loved your pouty lips and your little button nose
I don`t know what I expected, but I sure wasn`t expectin` this
I didn`t think love could move me so, and oh, the way you kiss
we talked a lot last night, but there`s something I didn`t say
from the very moment I met you Darling, you too my breath away”

“Oops, took my breath away”

“Speak to me only with thyne eyes
when your mouth moves, I hear lies
you tell me you`ll never leave me, yet you go
you`re with me in spirit, will it always be so
you`ve some yet to learn about promises you keep
it`s not enough to have you when I dream, or sleep
I don`t wanna wake up to the woulda, shoulda, coulda, or whys
just tell me you love me truly and let me look into your eyes”

“Tread on my corns,
Or tell me lies,
But don't pass me
The dried apple pies.”