I FARTED

“i never counted, but if i did, id probably find that i fart an average of 30 times a day. is that alot?”

“in my house, you are average.”

“Ya we know!!!!!!!!!!!!

8)”

“Waaaallllyy!”

“Farting smells good good!

8)”

“feels good too. i like the way it sounds when im sitting bare-assed on a wood chair.”

“On a hot day.

8)”

“farting is fun”

“It shows that God has a sense of humor.”

“my pooties smell like roses.....”

“Sniff sniff........

80”

“the coolest thing in the wold is farting in the bathtub.”

“gosh....you all have to meet my 9 year old. He does it all the time. I think much more then 30 times....and just in case he doesn't have to one day, he has his little whoppi chusion with him at all times. Little pig!!!!”

“Change your diet!!! Please.”

“Anybody ever see that Mr. Methane guy on TV. I don't think anyone can break wind like him.”

“One of life's simple pleasures.”

“Sorry all, but my infant daughter can outfart all of you! I'm not joking!”

“Start worrying if you stop farting.”

“Yep, it's when my daughter stops farting that you have to worry. TIme to change the diaper!”

“A tight waist ban and the right food will do it all the time for me. Nothing worse than sneek cheekin on a date.

Maybe a little TMI, but my old man who's in his late 60's finally realizes why one should not wear solid white underwear. He used to give me hell for paying a few extra $$$ for the 'designer' non white ones. The plaid ones, etc,. I guess now that he is single and working the scene again he's thinking ahead. You think all those years of seeing brown stains on white draws every night would have taught him something by now. But then again he was married.”

“I have a friend who gets bent out of shape about farting. thinks its rude behavior...oh well...I'm a pig...except when women are around...I live by the double standard.”

“A teaspoon of peanut butter every morning before you eat anything else and poof no more wind.

My wife wants me to try it ;)”

“Is that why you're called Wind Walker?????”

“lol @ snow nymph...."wind" walker”

“Ya farting in the bathtub is fun and it is even better if the fart is over 10 seconds!

8)”

“I was helping a friend move this weekend. House full of chicks packing candles and other women stuff. I grabbed one end of the couch and lost my grippers.

Cleared the entire house :-)”

“my stepmother claims that she does not fart. and she gets REALLY mad when others do. she once told my 12 year old that he was going to have to get out of the car if he did it ONE MORE TIME (they were driving home from NYC!). she gets M A D!

rg”

“If the body farts, it's still alive.”

“LMAO WW!”

“A little quick research on the www indicates that the average human on a normal diet farts between 6 and 20 times per day passing between a pint and a quart of nitrogen, carbon dioxide, oxygen, methane, and hydrogen sulfide gasses. Hydrogen sulfide is what provides the bouquet. The more sulfur in your diet, the more your farts stink. More than 40 farts a day is considered to be excessive. Woman fart as much as men.”

“Also… the tighter your sphincter muscles the louder your farts.”

“www.ifarted.com

I'm surprised this hasn't come up yet!”

“Artex COUNTS mine.”

“"A teaspoon of peanut butter every morning..."

smooth or chunky?”

“i already posted this a long time ago, but i thought i'd throw caution to the wind...

”

“lyra said "wind"!”

“mooooooaahaahaahaa!!”

“So, if every American farted 15 times a day with a volume of, say 100 cc, that would be about 375 billion cc's of gas. Does anybody know how much the Hindenberg held?”

“i give up! how many?”

“Quick web search - the Hindenberg had a capacity of 7 million cubic feet. Someone else will have to do the math.”

“Nitrogen, methane and sulfur? Maybe there IS something to holding a match down there...”

“7,000,000 cuft = 198,200 cubic meters.”

“so take your farts and shove em.”

“just the methane, wired. don't burn your ass.”

“phhhhhhhhhht!”

“Who wants to sumbit to the fart of the day here”

“375 / 198.2 = 1.892 Hindenbergs Farted Daily (or thereabouts)


'oh, the humanity,' yadda yadda.”