A Terrible Tragedy...

“A TRAGIC DEATH
As posted on CNN today

Doughboy : Reuters
It is with the saddest heart that we must pass on the following news... Please join us in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Mr. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs.Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with many different flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Mr. Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very 'smart' cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John and
Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.”

“That's a hoot. Just came from The Onion website. Headline there reads: "Kevin Bacon linked to al Qaeda."”

“what is the url to this website? I need to check it out. Too funny”

“I wonder if Poppinfresh has heard?”

“Roll Model??

<ARGH>

”

“I thought this thread was going to be about really bad Shakespeare plays.”

“Sorry Artex, just really bad humor.”

“that's been hanging on the wall at work for a while now and i just read it today. what a coincidence.”

“Sorta gives us all a chance to RISE to the occasion!

Uh, PM, Poppin' Fresh IS the Pillsbury Dough Boy's Name!”

“I know bug, that is what is so funny. For a little while we had our own Poppinfresh posting here.

Poppinfresh”

“He wasn't happy when people kept referring to him as 'Poopinfresh,' as I recall....”

“yeah, he played with the idea of being the doughboy for a while.

We heard second hand that he is a disaster on the trail and scared himself into not packing anymore.”

“my condolances go out to snackboy. i think he was pretty tight with the doughboy.”

“Don't believe a word. Its a cover-up. The real story:

”

“Lifetime Supply of Beer Down the Drain

CHILHOWIE, Va. (AP) — Fourteen cars of an 83-car Norfolk Southern (search) train derailed near an industrial park, leaving the area smelling like a brewery Thursday.

About 20,000 gallons of beer leaked from three cars of the Roanoke-bound train, said railway spokesman Robin Chapman.

No one was injured when the cars skipped the tracks about 10:30 p.m. Wednesday, Chapman said.

Investigating officers said the leak did not contaminate any nearby water sources nor affect any highways.

"Everything was contained away from the creek," said Jack Tolbert Jr. of the Virginia Department of Emergency Management.

Authorities were investigating the cause of the derailment. All trains scheduled to use the tracks through Chilhowie were held until they were cleared Thursday evening.”

“Just how bad was it ??

Bud Light - ZZzzzzzzzz

YuengLing Black and Tan - OMG the sky is falling.”

“Two cars of Guiness and one car of Bass.

Now that's one big Black and Tan.”

“I wish the story said, it would be nice to know.
last edited: 11/15/04 12:13:54 PM”

“OMG the sky HAS fallen.”

“Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“If the train had derailed an hour earlier like it was suppossed to then the cars would have remained intact.”

“That's 213,333 12 ouncers. Figuring the average male lives until he's 75 (give or take a few years) and starts drinking beer at 16, that would be roughly equivalent to a 10 12 ouncers a day for each and every day of your drinking life. Imagine what you'd have to do to keep it all cold?

Beer...it's not just for breakfast.

Beer...you don't buy it, you just rent it.
last edited: 11/15/04 12:37:57 PM”

“who started at 21?????????????/”

“OK..I changed it to start at 16.”

“I started at 16, so that's an extra 5 years of pounding cold ones. Only about 10 per day for me.
last edited: 11/15/04 12:39:11 PM”

“Of course, if you drink 10 beers a day every day of your life, you're unlikely to make it to 75, lol...”

“For my 18th my older brother bought me my first bottle of scotch.”

“Jenna has some mighty fine...uhmm....errrr....qualities, doesn't she?”

“Yah, and being able to pound cold forties of Colt .45 is only one of them.”

“What's "3:16"?”

“Chapter and verse?

ratio of 3 to 16?”

“It takes 3 jennas to out think a 16yr old?”

“Canada's 'Sad' Beer Calamity
Thursday, April 07, 2005

A beer truck flipped over on a roadway overpass in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Monday, prompting local officials to comment on the tragedy.

"It is sad," Capt. Scott Logan of the Halifax Regional Fire Service (search) told The Daily News of Halifax. "Chances are they won't recover any of the beer."

The truck, hauling 46,368 bottles of Alexander Keith's India Pale Ale (search), skidded to a stop against the overpass's guardrail, luckily avoiding a 50-foot plunge down to another road.

The female driver was pulled out of the cab uninjured — "more frazzled than hurt," according to Logan — letting rescuers focus on the calamitous aspects of the disaster.

"I had a tear in my eye, actually, when I was watching it," said police Constable Mark Hobeck. "It was full of beer. We were hoping a Hostess truck full of pretzels would come by, but no such luck."

First story”

“That sad news. Thanks for ruining my day Bit.”

“NOOOOOOoooooooooooo!!
Oh the humanity!”

“waaahhhhh!
say it ain't so!”

“There's Keith on gtap at my village pub. Mebbe a pint at lunch.

Then again there's Newky brown too.”

“oh noooooooooo! not Keith's! what a waste.”

“terrorist hit London.

pretty bad and this is messed up. I feel bad for those people.
Trains and buses hit during the rush hour. Tony Blair is on his way home,
Think it has anything to do with the Oylmpics?”

“this is not good”

“terrible :(”

“I doubt it had to do with the Olympics. Not enough time between announcement and this morning to plan attack. Plus, why would they care about that. They have other things to concern themselves with, like destroying democracies.”

“I dream of a world full of peace :( maybe someday....sigh.”

“Won't happen. Fun to dream, though.”

“They say it had to do with the G-8 summit starting today in Scotland. The main topic of discussion is Africa. Iraq was left off the agenda. It's a little strange being on this side of the attacks. I feel really bad for those people.”

“NY is on high alert, as I think the rest of the country is to right?”

“Tony Blair said it is because of G8”