“If you only knew what we talked about while you were gone.”

“Ah, yes, inquiring minds want to know!”

“Beer, Sex, Beer, Sex, Sex with Beer, Beer after sex, Beer, TV, sex, Beer.”

“LOL! Big Wave pretty much summed it up.”

“We're pretty simple beast actually....But useful.”

“Mammalian protuberances.”

“(in pairs)”

“Now if those Protruberances would only produce Beer.......”

“Sold American!!”

“LMAO, Tilt!! oh, if i had a nickel for all the times i heard that one! "Woah, check out the mammalian protuberances on that!" heeehehehe!”

“

Men's Room Etiquette

---

The following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room.


An X above the number will indicate "in use."

 (Sample):







  |   |   | x |   |   | x |     (Indicates that urinals 3 and 6



  | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |     are occupied.)



  -------------------------







 You are to identify correctly, based on urinal etiquette, at



 which stall you are to correctly stand.  Good luck!















  --------------------



    Easy Section



  --------------------



 1.)







  |   | x |   | x |   |   |     (Urinals 2 and 4 occupied.)



  | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |



  -------------------------







 Your choice: ___



  -----------------------------------------------------------------



 Correct answer: 6        It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy



                          instinctively knows this.



 ===============================================



 2.)







  | x |   |   |   |   |   |    (Urinal 1 occupied.)



  | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |



  -------------------------







 Your choice:  ___



  -----------------------------------------------------------------



 Correct answer: 6        Stall 5 is acceptable, but you run a



                          greater risk of being next to someone



                          who arrives later.



 ===============================================



  -------------------------



  Kind of tricky Section:



  -------------------------



 3.)







  |   |   |   |   |   |   |   (empty)



  | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |



  --------------------------







 Your choice:  __



  -----------------------------------------------------------------



 Correct answer:  1 or 6    You are tacitly saying,



                            "I don't want anyone next to me."



 ===============================================



 4.)







   |   | x |   | x |   | x |       (2, 4 and 6 occupied)



   | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |



   -------------------------







 Your choice:  ___



  -----------------------------------------------------------------



 Correct answer:  1        You're stuck being next to at



                           least ONE guy, so you minimize the



                           impact and get a wall on your left.



                           NEVER go between TWO guys if you



                           can help it.  Exceptions to this



                           are stadium restrooms where the



                           herd thunders in.



 ===============================================



  -----------------------------------------------



  Subtle, tricky, but important to know Section



  -----------------------------------------------



 5.)







 |   | x |   |   | x | x |          (2, 5 and 6 occupied)



 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |



  -------------------------







 Your choice:  __



  -----------------------------------------------------------------



 Correct answer:  4       Believe it or not,  1 and 3 "couples"



                          you with the guy in stall 2.  And we



                          wouldn't want THAT now, would we?







                          This differs from question 4 in such a



                          subtle way that the nuances cannot be



                          explained.  Suffice to say, only we men



                          would understand!



 ===============================================



  -----------------------------



  VERY tricky indeed Section



  -----------------------------



 6.)







 | x | x |   |   | x | x |          (1, 2, 5 and 6 occupied)



 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |



  -------------------------







 Your choice:  ___



  -----------------------------------------------------------------



 Correct answer:  NONE!  You go to the mirror and pretend to



                         comb your hair or straighten a tie



                         until the urinals "open up" a bit more.



                         If you have to go REAL, REAL BAD, for



                         goodness sake! ... use a doored stall.



 ===============================================



 Other parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:



  -- NO Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep



     it terse and unemotional.  This ain't no clubhouse.



  -- I don't think I need to tell you, absolutely NO touching of



     anyone other than yourself.  A touch of another's elbow is of



     the highest offense.



  -- NO Singing.  Period.



  -- Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only..."Yeah, I see



     you there.  I will not look again".

”

“You are absoutely correct on this, but it is a bit scarey that you have put so much thought and effor into it....... Don't you have a job or anything?”

“Violin...Man quit telling our secrets. Don't reveal any of the others.”

“The animated version is in the "Why do women...." thread.”

“I don't know how you can "go" with someone standing right next to each other.
dawn”

“It's a guy thing.....”

“violin, I am glad to see someone compiled this information. Your illustrations are the only way that this could ever be explained to women.”

“aw gosh. another popquiz.”

“You walk in and there is someone in the stall with drawers dropped.

You have to take a piss.

Go to the urinal furthest away and use that one.

And then leave immediately.

Wash hands later.”

“I just saw that Pathman posted the Flash version on the other thread.”

“Of course, now that I recall arclite telling about seeing the lesbian biker using a urinal, standing up,,,, I guess I better qualify my previous statement somehow.”

“bbinkley - Especially if you hear rumbling!”

“Good question dawn! relaxation is the key in that situation. It's even worse when there's a line behind you. Man, the pressure's ON then. Whistling helps.”

“there is something that is not mentioned in this thread, but I will say it now because I consider you all friends....

When all of the women leave the table to "powder their noses" we men not only talk about beer, sex, sports...



we release the farts we've been holding... I said it, I said it, I said it!”

“The urinals are filling up. Your finished with your business but there is still people out there.

I mean by this point you have really stunk the place up. You hear people walking in the bathroom going " Oh my gosh" and then they see you in the stall and so they hush up and go to the stall furthest away from you.

So, your finished. Should you get up or not?

NO,NO,No..you wait til it's cleared out and then make your way out of the bathroom quickly before anyone sees you.”

“TMI for a Tuesday...”

“GOSh, I can't stop laughing. Been laughing for five minutes straight. all the coworkers are looking at me.

donman, let out another secret.(no pun intended)”

“Tilt that is too D@mn Funny!!!”

“So, when we go to the bathroom in pairs to discuss you guys, you talk about what we might be talking about when we get up to go to the bathroom in pairs?”

“If you only knew Smiley.”

“Urinal etiquette is easy. The hard part is the trough at the ball game.....”

“Are you talking about the hand washin trough that everyone uses as the pisser?”

“If that's for handwashing, where's the pisser? Under the bleachers?”

“ Bathroom etiquette is the core subject at this institute.”

“Smiley -- EXACTLY.

Pathman -- you'll need a flowchart to explain that one.”

“All the pissers are being used as well. But the bleachers work well”

“I was on the ferry back from Catalina Island once when the sea was really rough....

There was a trough urinal in the restroom... I used every inch of that thing!”

“Hey, you're not a pirate are you?”

“I end up choking if I try to talk while women are going to the bathroom.”

“This past summer I was talking with some nice folk I had met at Atlanta Fest (concert festival) at my campsite one night. They mentioned as they were standing in line for a potty a kid exited the porti john giving advice to his friend who was next in line about how nasty the soap and the sink were.”

“wound too tight and suffer from some kind of self doubt paranoia...I don't give a damn if someone is next to me, I don't care if his drawers are dropped...none of that interests me, nor bothers me...it isn't any business of mine...If I walk into a mens room talkin to someone,,,the conversation continues...good grief...I've never known such weirdness...you all are way too uptight and must suffer from a low level of self esteem...I'm confident enough in myself to know that I won;t be intimidated by the presence of someonelse in the mens room...shame on you!”

“bathrooms!?!, who uses bathrooms when there are perfectly good trees outside?”

“Just go take a leak would ya!!!!

8)”

“(groan) crazy mike...just take the freakin leak and move on.”

“We'll see how your self-esteem is after lizs reads this post.”

“LMFAO!!!!!!

8)

Get em!!!!!”