She Says She Doesn't Date Customers

“Several weeks ago, I happened to drop into an out of the way restaurant, one I hadn't been to in quite a while, and discovered an angel in disguise...

I admit, at my age, I was, in a word, smitten.

I'e gone back 4-5 times, usually a week or two apart, hoping to somehow generate some way of having a conversation. And to a point, I've succeeded. She's told me a little history, some wishes and hopes, dreams and desires, but when I invite her out, she responds by saying...

She doesn't ever date a customer, or anyone who's ever come into a place she works. Bad karma. Bad experience, evidently. But she smiles when I call her on points of defense, her rationale conflicting, at best, perhaps to save me from an embarrassing truth - and my imagination finds many possibilities.

I somehow sense her smile says keep trying, for I may just catch her at the right moment, in the right mood, to, perhaps, bend the rule, just this once.

I'm at a loss.

To choose between continued efforts which could lead to making a new friend, or persistence which will serve only to embarrass me and discomfort her for having to be, finally, blunt.

Time is, I'm sure, the answer.

But I seek instant gratification.”

“so stop going to the restuarant, stalk her around town, then accentally bump into her at the small gallery down on the corner. Just don't let her see your collection of daily notes, photos, and the left over refuse from the last time you searched thru her trash”

“Obi, you write very eloquently. Sweet and cool! :-)

Pain-in-the-ass situation, huh? (If you were Buddha Bear, you'd write this up a lot differently... Moooooooohahahhaaa)”

“Life is short, and persistence is an admirable trait. Make her tell it like it is, I vote that you keep going back until she makes a decision.

Embarrass yourself??? WTF??? Every male on the planet has done that if we consider a "no, thanks" as an embarassment.”

“Freinds can go out for coffee, wich can lead to lunch, which can lead to dinner, which can lead to a movie, which can lead to possible Princess Leah/Obi One Canoli Trip reports, which can lead to, well, you know.

Friends first, if she shy's away on that, she's playin' ya for extra tips.

Good Luck! (I'm in a similar situation with several barmaids)”

“bump into her at victorias secret, cosmo says it's a great way to pick up babes”

“Be persistant, Obi. Many moons ago, I was very much smitten by a daughter of one of my vendors. She finally informed me that she didn't date customers. Several years (and a couple of wives) later, we happened to run across each other. We had a few drinks, we danced and I finally got around to the subject of why she rejected me so many years before, when we obviously were attracted to each other. She told me I should never have given up...I still think about that girl...”

“BTW - Honesty and integrity won't get you too far with most women. If she's worth it, she'll be attracted to you forwardness, if not, she's prolly confused, and a dime a dozen like the rest of em'.”

“Keep trying Obi...you'll know you've gone too far when she swears out a peace bond on you...”

“jerkoff and fantasize.”

“Tell her that if that is all that is stopping her, you will no longer be a customer, ask what time she gets off.”

“apologize to her for being so extreme that you have to eat every now and then. then simply explain that you would have went to McDonalds but you were trying to date the drive thru lady and she had the same policy....maybe its just the business that turns them. i'll do some field work and let you know....good luck!”

“Pathman beat me to the punch.”

“At first glance I thought the thread said "she doesn't date cucumbers" can you imagine what images came to my head”

“My mom says she doesn't want to see you in Chuckee Cheese ever again. You're creeping out the kids. j/k”

“Don't give up...you are building a foundation....!!”

“LMOA at thinair!

I think Pathman's got the right idea. Don't give up! Find out where it leads!”

“ever think of stalking?”

“She says no, but maybe that really means yes, and if you keep trying...?
I dunno.”

“Three words:

CHICKS DIG FLOWERS.”

“Tell her to get a new job.







Actually . . .explain the problem to her. Literally. Look . . .you won't fate me because I am a customer, but if I stop being a customer, we may never bump into each other again, and I would like to . .. .go to a movie, get a room . . (.whatever it is you want to do.) And then put the problem to her . . ..as in . . ..so, what would you do.


And . . .it may well be that she is fully cogniscent of the catch-22 nature of the dilemma, and is trying to say "no" nicely.

If that is the case, then give her the opportunity to say "no" directly. You don't want to keep guessing and you shouldn't walk away not knowing.


It would be stupid (sorry) to just walk away . . .then you would never know. And just continuing to go to this restuarant (unless you love the food) will get old pretty quick.”

“So Obi goes back with a bouquet of flowers and loving looks in his face and Bruno, her 340-pound boyfriend, just happens to be sitting in the back of the bar. I can't look!”

“Perhaps delivered anomousnly (sp?)?”

“Hmmm, that begs the question; "Is it better to have risked love and become a bleeding, battered lump of pulverised flesh on the floor or to never have risked love at all?”

“He should remember to look around the bar first before proffering the flowers I guess. Still no guarantee Bruno won't bust in while he's doing that, but the chances are somewhat improved.

Those of us who are lovers and not fighters need to think of things like that.”

“Take your bear spray just in case...”

“True, Geobeet.. caution must be exercised, but nothing ventured nothing gained.

Another thought.. perhaps try and find out which car is hers, and leave a single red long-stemmed rose under the windshield wiper.”

“This coming from a guy who is not married.”

“Hey, I'm married...don't forget the bear spray...”

“screw the rose. Hide in her backseat and suprise her with your ingenuity and spontaneous nature.”

“I'm not married, but I get around baby. I get around. ;-)”

“Did anyone see "Eating Raoul"??


Her boyfriend is the knife wielding Ecuadorian in the back who is getting pretty sick of Obi . . .and is looking to turn him into a cannoli.”

“Honestly guys, the secret romantic gestures would be great if we didn't live in a world of sickos. I definitely think that Obi should keep the gestures very small, very upfront, and mostly gain her confidence over time. He should talk about himself, show family pictures, etc. Let her feel comfortable while pretending to be just an extra friendly but non-threatening customer.”

“Good luck Obi. I have no advice to give you.”

“Lyndy, so hiding in her back seat is definitely out then?”

“Yeah, who dosen't appreciate a good scare! :-)”

“The only person who wouldn't be scared to find a guy hiding in the backseat of the car would be a very sheltered progeny or a limosine driver.”

“to make her feel comfortable.

Tell her your best friends are internet ax murderers.”

“..or just tell her your best friends are on the internet!”

“Yeah, or if you are on the east coast, the official term is "Undead flesh eating zombies".”

“Would that red wine and roses could find favor with you
if that be the case, I would buy you more than a few
one look, a tiny glance seemes to have sealed my fate
I came here just to eat, but I hunger more for a date
I knew I was hungry, but I guess I didn`t know what for
you wasn`t what I was expecting, you were that and more
a chance encounter with an Angel and me a lonely dude
you say you don`t date customers, I can do without food
mind if I finish my coffee and smile at you over the cup
I know a great place to go eat, what time shall I pick you up”

“Great advice (mostly). Don't give up. If you like, you can refer to mky 'Bummer!' thread.

Get back to us.

Doug”

“Dosen't Buddha Bear have a female advice thread? I forget the exact name..”

“My only real advice is to just be yourself and then you won't have to remember what you said.”

“Yes: here.”

“Women are the spawn of Satan. If I were you I'd forget her and go backpacking.





If you're really horny take your sister with you backpacking.”

“Three words:

CHICKS DIG ETHER!”

“I like the flowers idea, delivered by the florist with a nice card. Flowers are the power tools of this dating business.

But wth, me giving relationship advice is the biggest joke on the board today.”

“Obi, once upon a time, I worked at the front desk of a hotel. A business man checked in one night and asked me to have a drink w/ him after I got off. I said no politely. Next, he called the front desk and asked again. I said that I was not old enough to get a drink. He didn't seem to mind this at all, because he came back to the desk and asked again. This time I told him that my boyfriend wouldn't be very understanding. He went back to his room and I went home. I worked the morning shift and had to check him out as well. As I was checking him out, he said quietly that it was too bad we missed that drink. I let him know in a much less quiet voice (not offensively loud, just forward loud), that I thought it was much better for both of us that we had missed that drink. At this point, he thrust his wedding banded finger at me (slimy bastard) and said loudly, so all the guests around him could hear it, "I'm married, you silly girl!"

Moral of the story: If she ultimately rejects you, take it like a man and not like a slimy bastard. Nothing is as big a turn-off as a man acting like a spoiled baby. (But keep trying if there is even an inkling of hope! Wink, wink!!)”

“For some reason once a woman says no she becomes much more attractive to a man - what is that reson? The chase?”