How would you say it?

“without coming right out and saying it?


"Put a helmet on that soldier"




no this will not be used for personal info, thank you very much”

“No glove, no love!”

“Maple, exactly how does your brain work?

:)”

“I read a book where the woman always said, "wrap that pickle up, baby"
kinda grossed me out...”

“Mapleleaf, do you write little thin paperbacks in your spare time?”

“LOL smily,

I always hear off the wall stuff.

I think it should be well docomented!
Dont you?

this way, when you have kids, all you have to do is print this out and hand it to him and say "any questions, refer to TT"”

“yeah, because everyone here has the parenting skills of homer simpson!”

“Got this a long time ago...

>>>LIST OF POSSIBLE SLOGANS PROMOTING NATIONAL CONDOM WEEK
>>>
>>> 1. COVER YOUR STUMP BEFORE U HUMP
>>>
>>> 2. BEFORE YOU ATTACK HER, WRAP YOUR WHACKER
>>>
>>> 3. DON'T BE SILLY, PROTECT YOUR WILLY
>>>
>>> 4. WHEN IN DOUBT, SHROUD YOUR SPOUT
>>>
>>> 5. DON'T BE A LONER, COVER YOUR BONER
>>>
>>> 6. YOU CAN'T GO WRONG IF YOU SHIELD YOUR DONG
>>>
>>> 7. IF YOU'RE NOT GOIN TO SACK IT, GO HOME AND
>>> WHACK IT
>>>
>>> 8. IF YOU THINK SHE'S SPUNKY, COVER YOUR MONKEY
>>>
>>> 9. IF YOU SLIP BETWEEN HER THIGHS, BE SURE TO
>>> CONDOMIZE
>>>
>>> 10. IT WILL BE SWEETER IF YOU WRAP YOUR PETER
>>>
>>> 11. SHE WON'T GET SICK IF YOU WRAP YOUR DICK
>>>
>>> 12. IF YOU GO IN HEAT, PACKAGE YOUR MEAT
>>>
>>> 13. WHILE YOU'RE UNDRESSING VENUS, DRESS UP YOUR
>>> #&%!$
>>>
>>> 14. WHEN YOU TAKE OFF HER PANTS AND BLOUSE,
>>> ZIP UP YOUR TROUSER MOUSE
>>>
>>> 15. ESPECIALLY IN DECEMBER, GIFT WRAP YOUR MEMBER
>>>
>>> 16. NEVER, NEVER DECK HER WITH AN UNWRAPPED PECKER
>>>
>>> 17. DON'T BE A FOOL, VULCANIZE YOUR TOOL
>>>
>>> 18. THE RIGHT SELECTION WILL PROTECT YOUR ERECTION
>>>
>>> 19. WRAP IT IN FOIL BEFORE CHECKING HER OIL
>>>
>>> 20. A CRANK WITH ARMOR WILL NEVER HARM HER
>>>
>>> 21. NO GLOVE, NO LOVE!
>>>
>>> 22. IF YOU'RE GONNA HAVE IT OFF, HAVE IT ON”

“How about, "You'd probably better put a condom on; one of us has an STD."?”

“Why wouldn't you just come right out and say it? After all that's what your getting at in the end anyway.
And for God's sake, say it before he's poised for the plunge.

And don't always make it the guy's place to have the condom. I'm not saying that it's not their responsibility, but if it's that important to you you should have one on hand if he doesn't. Otherwise one of you is looking at a late night trip to the gas station. That is, if you're not on the trail or from Montana where the nearest gas station is miles away.....For God's sake I'm rambling. I need to go home.”

“Oh gawd, BIT! LOL!”

“Trailslacker, what's this Montana thing? Ain't you never heard of sheepskins? those go waaaay baaaahck!”

“Actually, they were the intestines....”

“Maple, how do you do it?”

“"he's poised for the plunge".

Trailslacker
01:50:30 PM
12/13/02




he is at least wearing a snorkel?


now thats pertection.

giggle giggle”

“The true lightweight backpacker would be able to don the combo water carrier/condom shopping bag.”

“that's goofy, bitpusher...i like the last one!

heeeeyyyyy...why are you guys telling someone to put on a condom??”

“I don't know, lyra. I would have had you pegged for "IF YOU THINK SHE'S SPUNKY, COVER YOUR MONKEY."”

“that one, too! :-)”

“Glad you clarified the "sheepskin" comment, aero. I was getting a really funny image in my head for that one....

head, heh heh, no pun intended....”

“I like the no glove no love one!!!!!

8)”

“No beating around the bush for me. I'd make it very clear. Who wants to get to where you are going, and find that you can't do it, because no one is prepared. Now that sucks!”

“Oh yeah, I'd say "no condom no sex".”

“Just ask him what he's gonna name the baby.
Any man in his right mind would drive to the drug store at that point if he needed to.

Oral Sex is always a fun option too. Good ole 69!!”

“"No party hat, no party"”

“Bring your own condom, and put it on him.”

“i just got neutered......”

“if ya aint close enough to say it outright ya aint ready. knock off the coy stuff and grow up.....”

“I agree with BB (is agreeing allowed here?). In this situation, you should just furnish your own condom, and install it yourself. I would add that "extender" or ticklers would be poor form. Ribbed/colored or flavored would be okay, though.”

“"It". There, how difficult is that?”

“Why would you want a flavored one? I just throw mine away when Im done with it!”

“Wap Dat Wascal!”

“omg.. how do you come up with these threads??”

“threads like this make me wish more pples parents had used condomns”

“Ya ought to see the strainers on the intakes of a sewage treatment plant.

They were callin' "them" Potomac Whitefish.”

“What is the problem asking a person to put on a condom? I don't get it. You're about to have sex with someone, and you are embarrassed about that. Not exactly what I would characterize as a close, caring, sharing, understanding relationship. If you HAVE to ask, and if you are tentative about asking, maybe you shouldn't be doing this guy..or any other guy.”

“But in answer to your somewhat naive question, try this. "Would you please put on a condom."

If that doesn't work, tell him to fu*k off.”

“Is there something we need to tell treebeard?”

“not like her kids don't read her idiotic comments on here anyway...”

“What do girls insist guys wear condoms?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
So they can have a doggie bag to bring home.”

“geez - a few of you seem like you need to lay off the holiday stress and remember to laugh! geez - you know what I would say? "no party without the favors" LOL”

“Oops What = Why”

“Opie, I have no reason to believe that this thread was opened for any other reason besides good fun. If you don't like the things my wife says, it's perfectly ok. But, you really don't have to resort to disparaging comments and references to my kids. It kind of sucks the fun out of this.”

“gee, lets see if what I taught my children will work on you..


If you have nothing nice to say,
then don't say anything.



Did it work?”

“I like walkindude's idea...besides that's my favourite number..

......69........





And Mr. Treebeard...yo go boy...”

“I think this thread is a riot...surprising who's comments I agree with, lol.

maple you're ok in my book, I love your wacky posts. Very nice to see treebeard stand (or post)by you. :)”

“I like the sign I saw someone had scratched on a condom dispenser: "Don't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber!"”

“Thank you guys!!
:)


but it seems this is another one of Opies hit and run.....”

“people log off, you know, and step away from their computers. they're not all crazy people like us who check the threads every couple minutes from work. :)”

“True that, but he does this alot.”