The Saga of TrailTalk - a sequel

“...predations of the local wildlife. Fortunately, however, Khatru was nowhere to be found, as would likely have...”

“disturbed the buzzards that were moving in toward bitpushers lifeless form. Then there was a brilliant flash and...”

“...bitpusher was reborn! His first words were...”

“where's my Makers Mark? To which chili36 replied...”

“Quick man, the HMWHC is meeting at Hooters so we can ........”

“go drink beer, and dream of dancing pink thingies over our heads, but bitpusher said...”

“I would rather go to a strip club,,I need...”

“a lapdance from that hot chick that has hair on her chin, but...”

“then he realized that the TT'er had boosted all of his gear, causing him to go into a wild rage and....”

“pick his nose aggressively while screaming songs from the great new bands Dead Meat Lice and The Monkey Spankers. Everyone watched in horror, but then...”

“bitpusher began to think about The Monkey Spankers and took out his...”

“...phone book and called lyra to see if any of her monkeys needed a spanking. lyra said...”

“You touch one hair in any of my monkeys and a large gorilla will ...”

“shove a banana up...”

“...spank you. "But I didn't think sock monkeys had hair," said bitpusher. "In any case, I don't want to be spanked by a gorilla, so I'll leave your monkeys alone." Deterred by lyra from spanking her monkeys, bitpusher looked around at the group of TT'ers, searching for his lost equipment. Evenutally, they took pity on him and...”

“...spanked him instead of the monkeys. That being what he likes, along with....”

“a vat of bear grease that can be used to ....”

“...wrestle in. Bitpusher, spying the huge vat of bear grease, began to push TT'ers into it and try to get them to wrestle, but...”

“Tilt jumped out of the way and bitpusher fell in. Stratdewd threw in Buckshot and yelled to Micah...”

“the soon realized how smooth it made their skin, and began smearing it over their rough, dry, wind chapped bodies.”

“Bitpusher, Tilt Pathman and Buckshot, along with dutch1 and Geobeet, enjoyed the smooth 'smearing' so much that they couldn't help themselves from smearing over each other.

Suddenly, Matt, the Webmaster interrupped and....”

“made the grease vanish leaving all of them sparkling clean and fully dressed.With a regal composure he held forth two large stone tablets and said...”

“...So it has been written, so it will be done. The TTers bowed to Matt the Webmaster and relinquished their desires to be smeared with grease. They turned their thoughts to...”

“God forbid-

backpacking!

”

“then they came to their scences and all walloped matt in the pace with coconut cream pies ....”

“much to the delight of the bear which had finally tracked everybody down. "lunchtime" thought the bear as he sat down to eat....”

“lizs pink thingy, causing stikmon and Khatru to....”

“,,,turn away in disgust and fire up their stoves to cook a more sustaining meal of....”

“alpo and potatoes. After stikmon heated the alpo,,Khatru jumped on him and began to....”

“...play checkers with Sarabelle. There was a dispute about the rules so they asked the bear to mediate, but...”

“buddha was tired, so he kicked his stove and...”

“...set the checkerboard on fire, causing Sarabelle to...”

“type up a quick story of the "Skeery Bubba Beer" on TT. Dhutch, hearing the word beer, exclaimed "BEER BEER BEER BEER" and ran towards Bubba Beer at full tilt....”

“until he tripped on Matt, the webmasters.....”

“...power supply, causing another TT outage. The TT'ers began to rend their clothes and tear at their eyes, foaming at the mouth and screaming horrible curses because of the lack of TT. Nevermind that they can't read it while on the trail anyway, any outage is considered to be a major catastrophe. Then, realizing that dhutch was the one who caused the outage, they all turned on her and...”

“Buddha Bear said....."that's it....you are banned from the Lime Green Jellow Pool for two hours...during that time, I want you to"......”

“Take off all your clothes and meditate on what you have done, as drool ran down his chin and ...”

“...pooled at his feet, causing him to slip and whack his head on a rock. dhutch and all the other TT'ers laughed heartily at his antics, then...”

“... Tex rappelled into camp from a hovering helicopter, shaved part of BuddHa Bear's head and applied a Flintstones band-aid. She turned to Bitpusher and said...”

“"Program THIS Buster," as she proceeded to ...”

“...shame on you for writing that BB got hurt! Have you no decency? Bitpusher said, "Well, no, not really, I guess, besides he was about to make dhutch...”

“... set up the singed checkerboard, but they were having problems finding all the pieces, so Geobeet...”

“...offered them some slices of dehydrated tomato to use. "Just make sure I get them back," he said. "That's the last tomato that Psycho Squirrel didn't get." At that moment...”

“the skeery woof bare braked into the room and growled, "I am the skeery woof bare and I am gonna mayke yu all ded!" Psycho Squirrel, though, was not skeerdid and he ........”

“...bit off the skeery woof bare's...”

“... a small grey blur flashed through the camp. Dhutch turned to Geobeet and asked if it was Squirrel Season.

"Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!" laughed Geobeet, and hauled out a sawed-off 12-guage...”

“Which was a cheap knockoff of a 12-gauge, and he ...”

“...fired it at the small grey blur repeatedly, missing every time, but managing to destroy everthing else in the campsite, including blowing a hole in the side of the vat of lime green jellow. The jellow poured out of the side of the vat, taking...”

“... the assembled company (along with the Psycho Squirrel, the kegs, the Hooters girls, various gizmos from the HMWHC Gift Shop, a fresh pot of coffee, 12 kayaks and the recently bobbitized Woof Bare) into the river just above a Class V rapid...”

“As Artex signalled frantically with his Princeton Tec Aurora in a vain attempt to get help, but ...”