The Saga of TrailTalk - a sequel

“...she shaved the Abominable Snowman, revealing him to be...”

“No other than Bblinkey in disguise. "Thanks Tara" said Binkley, "I have been covered in hair for the last 2 months. Ever since"......”

“...TC2, when I met Khatru, and gave him a big hug after accidentally rolling in glue. Now if someone could just...”

“"...I drank Chili's homemade wine at TC2. But I can't explain this strange growth on my..."”

“...shave me, I'll...”

“"I already shaved you, remember???" screamed Tara. That's how we know who you are. She immediately dragged BBinkley down the mountain by the....”

“...strange growth on his...”

“...pelvic bone..
OWWWWWWWWWW!!!”

“...Buddha blindly yelled 'you all suck, I'm leaving!
Oh yeah, and screw all my detractors in the ear with no jelly!' But his attempts at optimism were futile...”

“...when they got to the bottom, they were immediately confronted by...”

“...and no, it wasn't the two lesbos in the tent vying for his large trout like before either...”

“..the Chinese Army! They had descended the wrong slope! Artex looked at all the others and said, boy we're lucky we didn't...”

“...he screamed like a girl! 'but I'm the President for gosh sake, of the He Man Women Haters Club, doesn't this score me any points in your book??'...”

“..."Not unless you brought moose droppings with you", says Twigeater and stomped off, meeting Buddha Bear along the....”

“...lucky we didn't forget to bring Artex's dehydrated jerky. That's a mighty hungry looking army and there isn't a Chinese take out joint within 6 miles of here...”

“You're mistaken. It's jerky, not moose droppings...”

“...and Buddha Bear's still in that Tibetan prison, noted Smiley Girl, in a rather wistful tone of voice. "Yeah, I know," opined Tarabull, suddenly losing interest in the newly-depilated bbinkley. "I really wish that..."”

“.."Do you men know who I am?" Buddha roared. The men fell to their knees bowing at the master...”

“.."I'm not that kind of master!" Buddha Bear reeled to scurry out of the prison, but was kept there by.....”

“...a large, female Tibetan jailhouse guard, who had taken a shine to him...”

“..so she proceeded to take her turn, "bowing to the master". Thus satisfying her needs, Buddha was able to rejoin the group and....”

“...suddenly he realized the Chinese soldiers were all unadorned! As they proceeded to take off their straw hats he realized he knew them! They weren't chinese soldiers at all but TTer's in disguise!...”

“..."ha ha ha, we fool you!" cried Aero, newgirl, Violin, Tilt, Pathman, LnydyS, Sassafrass, Tarabull and nigal among others...”

“...get back to his regular position, serving...”

“...serving lap dances for the local ladies...but wait!!!...then all of a sudden...”

“...The HMWHC shows up, and they are unsure whether to rescue their comrade, or congratulate him. The dichotomy is solved when Artex comes in, drunken roaring...”

“.."get that stinking dog and that gun outta here!"...”

“...to which Buddha Bear replies, I don't smell that bad, and that's not a gun, that's my...”

“garden weasel!”

“..."care to give him an old go round??"...”

“..."Go around where," said Sass.
"To India, it's right across the border. We haven't been there yet this story." So the trekkers dressed Buddha and Artex and drug them away from the frenzied women and into India, by way of....”

“...of a moped. You should of seen how funny those big ole' guys looked on that little red moped. They were riding along when...”

“...the moped broke into a thousand pieces! It was just a moped, after all! This meant that they had to go back to hiking! Ugh! Buddha Bear turned to Artex and said, "You know, you wouldn't know it from looking at us, but we...”

“...are clean, decent, upstanding people who just like to roll around in .....”

“lime green jello!”

“But lime green jello is losing it's allure so they decide to roll around in ......”

“Badger Balm oil. Feeling warm and tingly they realized that they were very, very tired. They all curled up in a tiny little puppy pile and fell into a deep, deep sleep.....Buddha Bear's snoring didn't even wake one........”

“squirrel. However, it did wake a very angry....”

“...rabbit, who set upon them, biting at their necks and attempting to behead them. Luckily, a passing group of knights had possession of a holy relic, the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. After a bit of discussion amongst the knights, they threw Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch at the bunny threatening our intrepid band, and...”

“..Then Tim the Enchanter said, "I warned you. A harmless little bunny, eh?...”

“..And not wanting to be wasteful, Artex pulls out his trusty portable dehydrator and proceeds to add spice to the meat of the evil rabbit in an effort to make a superb jerky treat for everyone...”

“...as twigeater set the bunny to boiling, Buddha Bear shrieked...”

“...Run away! Run away! So, heeding his advice, they all ran away, leaving twigeater with a pot of boiling bunny, and Artex with a dehydrator full of rabbit jerky. They until they were confronted by...”

“...tittypoo dressed in blue sparkley underpinnins, and he was...”

“...skipping through the forest. "Imagine meeting you here", exclaimed tittypoo. "And just as I became hungry for some rabbit jerky. Don't you just adore my blue sparkley underpinnins?" Artex, disgustedly says, " I'm going to take those underpinnins and.....”

“...put them on myself so I can sneak in on the "women only" hike.

"hi girls", said the feminized Artex in a high falsetto,"I've come to join your hike!" The women all looked at him and said...”

“mass market them to Trail talkers! Those people will buy anything if it's wicking. I'll silk screen them, across the rear will read "If you can see my sparkley blue underpinnins, someone stole my hiking pants!". I'll make millions! I've gotta get Humanpackmule on the phone!!!"

But, when he dialed HPM's house, Treebait answered the phone and told Artex that HPM was.....”

“...busy stitching up a fushia tutu so he could join the women's only hike. Frustrated, Artex pulled all the hair out of his bleached blonde wig and...”

“Worked up a big batch of bleached blonde wig jerky, which tasted stringy so he ...”

“...threw it all out, only to have Crazy Mike pick it up and say...”