The Saga of TrailTalk - a sequel

“Pimp! But he couldn't eat it because he was still finishing a bowl of lime green jellow that he got from ...”

“...the gigantic pool of lime green jellow that was being used for the TT Wrestling Championship! The first wrestlers in the pool were tango and...”

“Darius Kasparaitis, who had pulled tango's jersey up over her head and dropped his gloves. At that point, who should stumble on the scene but ...”

“arky, carrying a 30 pack and ....”

“...Stikmon and his camera! With his trusty sidekick Khatru, Stikmon photographed the contest from every possible angle. This was fine until lizs showed up, and...”

“asked why tango had her shirt off. Just then Stikmon and Khatru....”

“said, “No men allowed!” Which started the war of the sexes. The women took up bow and arrow and the men - knowing that the calm women would beat them using these weapons – quickly surrendered and gathered kegs of every kind of beer known to bestow as gifts on the women, therefore earning them points and the right to…”

“Shop at the HMWHC Gift Shop, where ...”

“...buy them flowers. "We're in cried the men." "Not so fast," replied the women you forgot the moose droppings." The men immediately went searching for the droppings in the....”

“bottom of the lime green jellow pool while wearing...”

“wilds of the north woods where they ran screaming from bull moose in the rut. chili36 tripped and fell and one of the bulls...”

“Snorted and said, "So you're the chili meister, eh?" Chili backed away slowly, saying in a calm voice ...”

“...nothing but thier birthday suits. Once they found the droppings, they helped a trampled chili36 off the ground and carried him to camp. Oops, then they got dressed while chili screamed....”

“give me a beer,,,please, someone just give me a beer or I will....”

“bludgeon you with this dozen red roses some ungrateful wench threw back in my face. And with that, geobeet grabbed on of the kegs of beer and...”

“Chugged it down before remembering that he was taking rat poison to thin his blood. "Oops," he said as he ...”

“shrunk into "pocket geo", "Beer and rat poison don't mix. They make you small." Twigeater promptly put him into her pocket and rushed him for a cure to the nearest....”

“microwave, where she planned to cook him on the lowest cooking setting for precisely 2:15, as any other setting or time would cause him to...”

“suffer less. And we want him to suffer, since he drank one of our kegs, the naughty boy. Dhutch grabbed him by the ear and sent him over to Jello Fog to be spanked, and...”

“...videotaped it for all to watch later. The tape was snatched from her hand by Tarabull and....”

“Sold to Psycho Squirrel for a basket of tomatoes. Psycho laughed himself to death though, leading Geobeet to ...”

“grab the video and sell it to Violin - who promptly hosed 400 threads on TT with it. This angered matt, the webmaster and he banned Violin forever. Violin, undaunted, came back as as a troll named...”

“twigeater, which was disconcerting because it was hard to tell which was the true twigeater and which was the troll twigeater, since the true twigeater does not type with a down east twang. Meanwhile, back at the ...”

“lime green jello pool, arky was pulling yet another 30 pack out of his daypack as Dunadan said.....”

“...I have 1 bag night this year! Top that! To which the vast majority of TT'ers shouted...”

“Haiku is set in
Lines of five, seven, and then
A line of five more ...”

“and then the Trail Talkers tapped the remining keg and toasted the Kansas Jayhawk football team that has one as many games as Dunadan had bagnights. Dayhiker became so excited over the event he...”

“oops,,"won"”

“...accidentally sang the Auburn fight song. He was so embarrassed that he...”

“immediately rinsed his mouth out with what he thought was Evans Williams, but was really...”

“...the contents of OPIE's pee bottle. Dayhiker began to retch, while OPIE mused about...”

“marrying Miss Opie and having a bunch of little Opiates. He was promptly expelled from the HMWHC and then...”

“Begged to have his memebership reinstated, pleading with Buddha Bear, making promises of free lap dances and hooters wings. Buddha coldly turned away from Opie and grabbed the.....”

“Spanish Inquisition”

“Make that the Spinach Imitation, a new backpacker dried food that looks and tastes like spinach but is made from ...”

“dulce, harvested from the waters off Grand Manaan. Although very nutritious, it has the texture Artex's ostrich jerky and tastes like...”

“Spinach, it tastes like spinach!”

“....dried poison ivy, after which....”

“Geobeet grabbed the Spanish Imitation from Buddha Bear and crammed it down twigeatah's throat screaming "spinach! spinach! it tastes like spinach!"
To which twig replied, "Oh ayuh, it shoah does" and she turned to Geobeet, hicupped and...”

“Buddha told Opie, if he ate all of the Spanish imitation, he would be considered for HMWHC membership, once again.

Sweat broke out on Opie's brow as he pondered the imitation. He hated the taste of spinach and is allergic to poisen ivy. He turned to the assembled TTers and asked.....”

“"Can't we all just get along?"

Everyone stopped and pondered the question. "Are you asking that rhetorically?" asked Artex. "You mean us?" asked maple leaf.

Just at that moment, there was a loud crackling sound.

"Omigod, I forgot my tinfoil hat!" screamed ...”

“"Everyone RUN!!!" yelled Artex as Jmitch barely missed being flattened by a huge ash tree. "Wow that was close, I was almost dead" he said as he turned to continue breaking trail with his trail sneakers. Everyone plotted to steal them and learn what secret material they were made of when suddenly ......”

“"MOOOOOOAAAAHAHAHA!" came booming in a loud voice.

"It's Marvin Gardens and he's peeyissed!" yelled someone.

Just then ...”

“Marvin Gardens, with a huge round tinfoil hat, came into view. The hat actually rotated and suddenly multicolored lights started coming out of the hat. Soon the lights were moving all around, and the TT'ers all began to dance. Geobeet yelled "Hey my leg feels great!" and started to throw one arm up in the air, finger pointed, and a great imitation of Saturday Night Fever, the movie, ensued. Rapturous dancing covered the mountain with TT'ers dancing, Buddur playing his banjo, Stratdewd playing the guitar, and Bbinkley playing drums. After many hours, too tired to set up camp, the TT'ers followed Buddha Bear's suggestion, and all went to sleep in a huge puppy pile. Morning dawned .....”

“then somebody pootied....”

“and Micah screamed, "dig a hole for that crap, will ya! LNT=LDH!" Take that pile of puppies and...”

“...form a conga line with them...”

“lizs and stikmon, dressed in mystical robes, joined the conga line and ...”

“drown them, bash them in the head, I don't care how you get rid of them" shouted Cruella/Micah, "Just do it!"

At that, the pile of puppies jumped up and said "But we have no spots!"

They all rushed at Micah, and dragged him/her to the parking lot where they drove him to the kennel to do community service shoveling the poots of a large number of dogs. The TT'ers went on to a coffee shop and proceeded to argue over which brands of coffee were the best. After eating and drinking, they decided that it was time to plan the next XXXXpaloosa in .....”

“MaryPhyl's backyard. They brought lots of camelbaks except Chili who brought the camel, and went hiking in the Grand Canyon with ....”