The Saga of TrailTalk - a sequel

“coolers of .....”

“"Bud Lite!" screamed twig, "my favorite! one cooler is plenty for me, but what'd ya bring everone else?"”

“...we brought some sacramental grape soda for Geobeet to wash down his rat poison with...”

“and a pint of rum, strictly for medicinal purposes in case....”

“... bacpac showed up and ...”

“shouted, "NOBODY EXPECTS IMITATION SPINACH!"

He glanced nervously around, then snatched up a "magazine of dubious origin" and ducked behind a boulder. Unfortunately this was the very boulder Lizs and her squad of whup-ass lady hikers had ducked behind only moments before.

They flushed like a covy of quail.

"Curiouser and curiouser," said the Cheshire Cat, as he slowly faded from view (leaving only his smile).”

“Which prompted Sarabelle to BOL that she wanted to ressle up that cat purty gud ...”

“...though normally she was accustomed only to tackling wolf bares, in this case, she made an exception...”

“Looking down, Gojo noticed that while most of Sarabelle was wrestling with the cat (or at least its TEETH), her leg had heeled.”

“Meanwhile, Pennsy Hiker was using his Bearikade as a ticket counter and selling tickets to the resslin match, claiming ...”

“"I never read Little Women, that Artex is SUCH a liar" but no one believed him anyway. Then biz, who had just been expelled from the woman only trip for sneaking her boyfriend along in a tiny stuff sack, strutted up to him and said...”

“"My glands ache to eat chocolate dogs." And then with more force, she added, "And LITTLE chocolate dogs at THAT".

The crowd got quiet.”

“... chocolate dogs cringed ...”

“...And Micah said, 'Clean that up!"...”

“...a bird fell dead...

"Excuse me," Said LyndyS, blushing.”

“While newgirl hid behind a newspaper and ...”

“then aero swaggered up to her and said, in his best pimp daddy rad voice, "hey, whaddup baby doll? How'd ya like to have yer face plastered all over the Internet? To which newgirl replied, "sure babydoll but only for a minute. After that you must..."”

“...plan huge backpacking trip in our native Montana, only to be interrupted by...”

“Geobeet, Lizs and Crazy Mike as they broke into their immitation fothe three tenors singing . . .”

“blue eyes crying in the rain,,which caused prowler to go off the deep end and...”

“...stare at the screen with a wild look in his eye, foam frothing at his lips, and screaming, "Off topic! Off Topic!" until...”

“...a new day began and everybody chimed in 'What's for breakfast?'...”

“...and there was not enough coffee, so...”

“...kodiakman drove twenty miles across the frozen tundra until...”

“he spotted a polar bear with a coke...”

“...so he asked him where he got it. The polar bear politely replied...”

“from an ad in the back of a spiderman comic book....”

“..."Wow," kodiakman replied, "Do you think I could see that?" The polar bear shrugged and handed him the comic book. kodiakman became engrossed in the riveting story, and forgot all his TT friends. Meanwhile, back at camp the TT'ers were getting restless. Their desperation for coffee had grown so desperate that they were reduced to...”

“sipping white gas while eating their beans but then....”

“A furtrapper (who was Strictly Commercial) strolled into camp with a pocketful of lint-covered NoDoze, and yet...”

“...he didn't notice that the TT'ers were farting white-gas-laden farts, and lighting them to stay warm. He accidentally got in the "line of fire" when Buddha Bear was lighting his, and...”

“... singed his nosehair. The Vegans were laughing so hard they forgot to throw blood on the furtrapper.

He was trying to explain that it was fake fur when a fake mink snuck out from under a log and bit him on the ass. When he jumped, the disguise fell off and everyone saw that it was actually...”

“...biz! In a truly amazing display of disguise, she dressed herself as a furtrapper in order to infiltrate the HMWHC, but was thwarted accidentally by their president! biz took off the heavy clothing and fake padding underneath it to reveal...”

“that she had nothing on and said....”

“how many of you hate women now? To which bitpusher replied...”

“...by drooling stupidly at biz's nude body...”

“"BUT, you really didn't mean to type that," yelled LyndyS as bitpusher turned beet red. Then Biz slipped behind a large hemlock tree. All the guys present kicked and elbowed each other out of the way in an attempt to follow Biz .....”

“but Buddha Bear suddenly drew a gun from his backpack and growled,,get back,,she is mine, then proceeded to....”

“trip over his feet, which were tied together by the shoelaces. Chili chuckled as he stepped over the stricken Buddha Bear, plucking the gun from his hand, and heading for the henlock tree. As he stepped behind the tree .....”

“a grizzly bear peered up at him and growled and raised itself up to its full height. Chili ran back to Buddha Bear and said "Hey, I was wrong, this really is your moment" and handed him his gun back. Buddha Bear looked stunned, but then turned his thoughts to Biz again and ......”

“was promptly mauled by the bear,,,,causing stove stomper to...”

“... fire Three flares and blow Three Times on his emergency whistle, whereupon Lizs and yet another squad of whup-ass lady hikers sprang from the bushes and peppersprayed the hell out of everyone who didn't have breasts. As you might well imagine, this did not apply to Towndog.

The bear ran up a tree and waited for the cloud to disperse. Chili stood there complaining that the capsaicin wasn't hot enough while the other titless wonders sputtered, choked and spit.

THEN (to no one's surprise)....”

“stalker broke out yet another 30 pack wherein all the members of the HMWHC began to drink with great gusto, when to their surprise, they looked up to see...”

“... a thirsty bear sliding down the tree.”

“...and they all ran off screaming like peewee herman with his weenie caught in a golfball washer....”

“until they remembered the naked biz, which caused them to turn back and charge the bear, causing it to turn and run leaving the HMWHC in posession of biz and the thirty pack. Then stratdewd tuned up his guitar and began to sing...”

“an old western favorite....."the bear got mama but i got the beer"....”

“At that moment, bacpac walked through the crowd without saying anything and disappeared into the woods, causing dayhiker to exclaim...”

“WAIT FOR ME! ! ! !


bacpac turned to dayhiker and yelled....”

“"GET TO WORK!" and don't you be following me because...”