There is nothing worse....

“Than a child being taken from his/her parents. This is the case with my 3 year old nephew. For over a month now, this has been my dilemma and focus. My whole family,(two sisters and Mom) have been TRYING very hard to get my other sister to come to terms with her drug addiction. We have all been unsuccessful. It is now that I am asking for opinions and/or professional advice. My nephew is not in the best of environments and his father(the weakest link) nor mother(the drug addict), have any idea whatsoever as to long term damage they are causing this child. Child Protective Services has been called a total of four times within the last three years to no avail. They say the nephew is fine and close the case. Of course, their arrival is announced. There is time to "bake cookies, and play the good parents". Today, myself and rest of family learned that CPS closed the case again after going to place of residence, which is with the father's sister, due to finding nothing "wrong". CPS NEVER went and when I called them to ask why, their response was "well, duh....we are sending someone right away", and there was no explanation as to why we were lied to. Now I understand, at least in the state of Michigan, why there are so many neglected children. CPS does not do their job, at all. The mother is on a "serious" drug(something I wanted to ask Pathman to email me pictures of, hoping that would help her), and the father is very weak, which I would not hold against him up until now.

I know this is not backpacking related, and I know I don't post much anymore. Given the circumstances, perhaps it won't matter that it is not backpacking related and perhaps my not posting won't matter either. I have been trying to be a part of something that has turned out not so good. Other than kidnapping my nephew, what else can I(we, my family) do? I know there are parents out there. I know there are people who know something, somehow. My mother is in Florida so that makes this whole thing just that much harder. My sister is God knows where...in and out of shelters, whatever. The father and nephew remain in a home with his sister, and the nephew is not receiving proper medical treatment nor eating properly. Thanks for listening.”

“The problem is that what the Child Protective Services are doing is protecting the children from the really serious stuff. They will not make the parents be good parents. What we think is major abuse is actually benign compared to some of the stuff that these people see. Closing the case without actually seeing the family seems to happen a lot. It seems like these families know that if they can hide from the visits for a long enough time, the case will be closed, without a visit. So I agree that your nephew is not in a good environment, but it could be a whole lot worse. That is why the CPS is not reacting. They would have thousands more children to place with relatives or in foster care, if they applied the standards of the common man. Maybe a lawyer can help you sue for custody of the child. You will need evidence, but the lawyer can help you to know what exactly you will need to prove your case. But it may not be possible for you to do anything about the situation at this time. It depends on what the laws and family courts are like in area that your nephew lives in. Calling the CPS frequently asking for accountability will at least keep the case fresh in their minds.”

“LyndyS is so right. My wife is psychologist with a private practice. She sees a large number of abused children. You don't know what a bad situation is until you have walked in the shoes of someone who works with children from abusive homes. I don't know how she does it. I would want to kill someone if I had her job. Don't be too hard on CPS. They are seriously overworked, underfunded and underappreciated.”

“Perhaps "friendly" intervention, by that I mean, can you get some time with the nephew, one on one. Can you be the bright spot in his life? Offer to take him for a weekend, and just a weekend, and be the bright spot - good food, clothes, activities, etc? For just that time, put all the other stuff on hold, and enjoy the time, make it a good time for him. Can you build the trust with the weak link, and get time with the child? Give the sister a break? I understand the relationship may be in the tank right now, but its worth a shot.”

“LyndyS: Thank you for the info on CPS. Maybe I understand them better now and their position. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do anymore at this point. My mom is looking into guardianship, but even that takes the cooperation of the parents and they are reluctant to let nephew go anywhere without them...especially out of state.

Hyway: I don't know how you do it either. I would not be able to hear a lot of what your wife hears or sees, either.

LDHiker: Intervention has not worked. As stated above, they are reluctant to let him out of their sight.

All in all, I am understanding that not much else can be done on my end. Hopefully, my mom can get further with all of this by living in Florida. She did talk to an attorney here in MI, and he told her her "best bet" would be CPS. I think her best bet is filing for petition of legal guardianship, and giving my sister an ultimatum. My other sister and I cannot do this because of the seriousness of the whole thing. He would still be close enough for them to get to.

Thank you for responding. I am very appreciative. It does help.”

“Wolfeyes, My thoughts are with you. I hope it gets better soon, call if you need to vent!”

“Wow. I have no real advice, having no experience with this kind of situation --- all I can say is good luck! And I wish you and everyone the best.

What you said in your last post resonates with me: Do what you can, but try to accept what you cannot change...”

“take the poor kid campin or hikin and show him how "real" people live and love him....kids need love. i once read or heard somewhere that it takes 7 positives to counter one negative... good luck and sorry to hear about your troubles...”

“i'm really sorry to hear you're in such a predicament, wolfeyes. i don't really have any advice, but it sounds like you're doing all you can...your nephew is lucky to have you. you were wise to post about this on TT, because the things people say make you see things differently, IMHO.”