Serious Question.........

“I have recently met a female that wants to have a baby (she's 33, and thinks her clock is ticking or something)

She has requested my sperm to make this baby.

My questions:

How much should I charge? (The going rate is $10,000 an ounce for intelligent, handsome, college educated, tall atheltes)

Should I add an additional hourly charge for the time put in to harvesting the sperm?

Should I charge extra for "pin-point placement" of the sperm, or is that illegal?


Please help!”

“It's only illegal if she enjoys it...otherwise you're just practicing "in-vivo fertilization".”

“Buddha just don't let her read any of your threads on here. The price would drop considerably!”

“BB, get the cash up front. Have her sign a document declaring she won't try to recoup the money in child support later.

Demand that she sample the goods on at least one occassion before delivery.

Just make sure your charges apply only to good delivered, not to the delivery itself. I think that should have you covered.

By the way, I will send the bill via snail mail.”

“Chili is a Lawyer so I'd listen to him.
You can consult Steve Hiker too for a second Lawyer oppinion.”

“Good luck!

8)”

“I would not go spending that check until it clears the bank Buddha!”

“Buddha Bear gonna be a daddy!
God save the World!!!!”

“"How much should I charge? (The going rate is $10,000 an ounce for intelligent, handsome, college educated, tall atheltes)"

If that is the case, you'll be lucky to get 2 bits.”

“Till it clears the sperm bank, you mean...”

“Admit it. You'd be glad to donate for free.”

“I think sometimes what it would be like to have another me in the world????

8)”

“Buddha: You need to have a clause regarding assistance in preparing her immune system for the pregnancy. I read an article about how - because of the developmental needs of the human brain - human fetal/placental tissue is more invasive of the mothers body than it is in other species. This puts a huge potential immunological strain on her body. Sperm producing coitus, according to the research allows the mother to be's immune system to prepare itself for the invasion of tissue bearing new dna. In other words, the fields need to be well tilled with sample seed - before the planting actually takes place.

I'm sure she will want to compensate you for significant advance efforts.

While there hasn't been any research, I'm sure there are special dna sampling immune system receptors located on the adenoid. A full service package would have to entail multiple deliveries of genetic material at those receptors.”

“Buddha, dont flatter yourself with regards to charging by the hour. Maybe a nickel every 10 seconds or sumpin like that. If you're lucky you can get a gatorade and a smoke for your troubles.”

“so your gonna spoo inna jar? where's da fun in that? do ya at least get a penthouse to look at ? i'm sceptical BB.....”

“are you hikingirl?????????????”

“ROFLMAO to everybody!

Classic!

Chili, you're my lawyer.

Ped, you are my agent.

I feel so.....................................................................................................................................























used”

“Just be sure that the jar mouth is large enough. Wouldn't want anything to get stuck. But, then again, maybe that's not a problem.”

“olive jar??????????????”

“i hate hwen you wake up in da morning wif a woody cuz you gotta pee so bad and you gotta lean over on the wall and bend over to hit the potty.....a miracle whip jar would REALLY suck!”

“

Biz, ya sound jealous. Too bad ya have a boyfriend, that goes against my business plan.”

“or should I say Bizness plan.

:)”

“BB, you ARE the true pimpdaddy! We stand on awe..... or was it cuz we were skeered to get too close to DSB?? (dreaded sperm buildup, holy smokes, Batman!!!)”

“i think Batman is in the closet”

“Buddha Bear has been paying for it over the years. This is a complete about face, now he is going to get paid for it? Something doesn't sound right.”

“At 10,000 dollars an ounce, the average wad is worth 25 dollars.

At 10,000 dollars an hour for time spent harvesting sperm, if I can delay longer than usual I'll make cab fare home.”

“Cab fare is no problem. I'll just tell her I don't have change for a ten.”

“If I charge 100,000 an hour then I might even have enough for cab fare and my tea and crumpets.

ROFLMFAO!!!!
(some set ups are just too good to resist - I bet you a real beer that you can't guess who I am.)”

“bubba bear = lizs

Your writing style is a dead giveaway.”

“The dead giveaway was "Serious Question....."”

“And to think about some of things you guys nailed me about posting on this board. At least mine was my real life and I was asking for real advice. Buddha, you crazy boy!”

“for you Buddha, that would be a MIRACLE whip”

“Argh. This thread makes me want to get a hobby.”

“Phaedrus, that comment was the most hilarious thing I've read (or heard) all day.”

“"Phaedrus, that comment was the most hilarious thing I've read (or heard) all day."
newgirl
12:38:35 AM

LOLOL! I hope the next 1,402 offer something better.”

“bubba bear =/= lizs

(that's as good as I can do at making a "NOT" with a crossed-out equal sign)

Damn, and here I wanted exclusive rights to the BB story.... I could smell a Time magazine cover... OR, was it just the foul stench of TT men camped too close to each other??”

“I've decided not to supply the young lady with sperm. The CIA informed me that the fluid could fall in the wrong hands, craeting a battalion of crack soldiers for a little known terrorist organization.

The things I'll do for my country!”

“Errr... BB, read your CIA memos more carefully next time. That was "creating battalion of crack addicted soldiers..."”

“LMAO ped!”

“WTF? Not going to do it? And I was ready to embark upon my new career as a Love Broker!”

“Put it on eBay and see what kind of bids you get.”

“Nah, she'll have to find prime man spakle elsewhere.”

“spakle?”