Woman Doesn't Have A Leg To Stand On

“Woman sues lab over mailing of leg
Wednesday, January 29, 2003 Posted: 11:11 AM EST (1611 GMT)



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Story Tools

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

HOUSTON, Texas (Reuters) -- An Alaska woman, shocked to receive part of her dead father's leg in the mail instead of the gourmet "LobsterGram" she was expecting, has filed suit against the Houston, Texas, firm that sent it, alleging mental anguish.

LaMara Lane wants $1 million for breach of contract and the mental anguish that beset her after opening what she thought was a food gift delivered to her home in the Alaskan town of North Pole, according to the lawsuit filed in federal court.

But Identigene Inc., which does DNA testing, said it was only following orders from a North Dakota judge when it shipped the leg to Lane last year.

"We have a court order that says send it to this place and this woman," Identigene President Caroline Caskey told Reuters. "I feel like I'm in 'The Twilight Zone.' "

The odd saga began in 2000 when George Semmens died in North Dakota. He left his $200,000 estate to Lane, who was his only child, but whose mother he never married.

A sister of Semmens challenged whether Lane was his daughter, which resulted in a North Dakota judge ordering his body exhumed for DNA testing.

Identigene confirmed that Lane was his daughter.

Tony Buzbee, an attorney for Lane, a 41-year-old teacher's aide married to a hunter, said the leg arrived in a container designed to keep contents cold, which led Lane to believe she had been sent a LobsterGram, a popular gift in the frozen north.

Buzbee told the Houston Chronicle that Lane was so shocked "she's had to store the bone and flesh in her neighbor's freezer."”

“I read that yesterday. I wonder if she'd settle for a lobster.”

“Go Houston!!!!!!!!! yea”

“A tail for a leg? I'd say that's fair.

Probably tastier too...”

“Mental anguish. Jeez. Get over it! It's just YOUR DEAD FATHER'S LEG!”

“Awww, c'mon. She needs to lighten up, at least they didn't send the head. Jeez.”

“at least they know he's a leg man”

“I wonder did she realize what it was before or after she ate it...”

“You know what would have been really wierd? If they had shipped her own leg to her.

Whoa.”

“...and then, if she had eaten it...REALLY WEIRD!!!!

lol...”

“This is another of those frivolous lawsuits we always hear about. It's not like they dressed the thing in a woman's garter and stocking and sent it to the Oprah show or something!

GET OVER IT!”

“So much for Third Leg Envy....”

“that reminds me of a Alfred Hitchcock story, where the woman killed her husband then cut him up. The police came to the house, so she decided to cook the leg and said it was a Leg of Lamb and served it to the police.

Or something like that.”

“It's not like they made a lamp out of it and sent it in a box marked "educational Materials".

Come on!”

“<looking through copy of the Constitution and Declaration of Independence>

hmmm...nope, it doesn't say anything in here about having the right to not have your father's leg shipped to you when you were expecting a lobster....”

“I wonder if this is where the expression 'the last leg of the trip' came from...”

“Was there an LSD angle on this story? I don't remember reading that, either...”

“"it's not like they made a lamp out of it:

LOl reminded me of A Christmas Story.”

“place it over the mantel”

“Is this for real? Would they really need to remove the guys leg for a DNA Sample? I have seen CSI and all they need is a tiny little sample. I smell BS”

“You should smell the leg...”

“I smell Urban Legend!!!”

“It's not like thye tried to can the thing in a seal-a-meal bag and experiment on it. Let it go already!”

“I wonder if they put any lemon and butter in the package”

“You didn't show that to that poor chicken's kids, did you Phaedrus?”

“I cooked the chicken's kids.

Hot chicks.”

“Oh, well, that's okay then...”

“Did the leg have a bib tied on it?”

“I just ran across a travel feature last night on Slate called "Well Traveled." They send a team on a trip and they report in daily. I just read this segment from "The Outlaw Trail" where an outlaw was hanged, skinned and the resulting leather made into cowboy boots. YES!!


LeatherMAN”

“For a DNA test, it was probably her Father's middle leg.

(banjo music in background)

How come she recognized it ???? by taste ??


Eeeeeww”

“Cripes, lizs! Now THAT might be a crime deterrent!

"Excuse me sir, you boots have my late uncle's tatoo on them..."”

“What's in the water in Houston? Read in the NY Times this morning, that a woman who knew her husband was having an affair, tracked him down. Ran over him in a Hilton parking lot and then proceeded to run over him three more times. Her daughter was in the car and reported feeling the 'bumps' as the Mercedes drove over the husband!”

“And that mole!
I'd recognize it anywhere...”

“That happens at Red Lobster daily, and no one has ever complained before.”

“Yeah, and be careful if you order the crabs!”

“Yeah, and be careful if you order the crabs!"
aero
12:10:15 PM
01/30/03

Yeah, you never know how the waitress will interperate that.”

“~ZOINKS!~

2nd amendment...the right to bear legs.....”

“That leg should NOT have been mailed to her. It should have gone to a mortician or morgue. I think she should prevail. (Big time, big time.)”

“It's not like they sent a note with it saying: Thanks for the barbeque - here's the leftovers!”

“What the #&%!$? Bizzaro world.”

“"Dear Madame:

Here's is the knee you bounced on as a child. We thought it might do well for a souvenir.

Regards,
The DNA Ghouls"”

“I am assuming that everyone knows why God gave women legs in the first place. (and he didn't get sued for it)....









.... so they wouldn't leave tracks like snails.”

“DOH!



BAN HYWAY! BAN HYWAY!”

“Hyway. Dumb.”

“Oh my, you guys are killing me this morning!”

“You'll put your eye out, kid.”

“We're just pulling your leg, Pamster”