Depression

“See if this works...



Old Plymel House”

“Nope. I was trying to post a pic (or link) to Lizses photo page hear at BPer. Not gonna do it - wouldn't be prudent at this juncture!”

“Yeah, I posted that when you were talking about it. And then tried to put it right in the thread and it looked all jaggy and weird! And then got disgusted... and then.. forgot about it.

Don't know why it wouldn't post on this thread decently! I used the right coding and all.

Old Plymel House
http://www.thebackpacker.com/pictures/pic/t81r27m4ykabl6.php

Sign on house
http://www.thebackpacker.com/pictures/pic/grcpmyle7.php
last edited: 2/25/07 12:07:25 PM”

“Thanky, yankee! LOL!

Love, gojohnnyreb”

“Sheesh.



”

“i want a little log cabin to escape too. right now.”

“Me too...”

“I ilve in paradise - orchard all round except where there's forest, both mixed and maple, hills, stone fences, my tiny hamlet (I live in the suburbs of Rockburn in the old, one room Rockburn school, 1830) with its kick-@$$ pub and old stone church.

Friendly neighbours, unlocked front doors, good buddies. Barbequeue and smoking ham etc. and trout fishing in the summer, hunting in the autumn, ski-ing and FYAO in the winter.

Sorry, it's full.”

“Just in case I sound a little too smart-arsed you can read my other posts to this thread.

If it weren't for my little house in my little hamlet I'd be dead.

During my divorce I drove by my house every lunch for 18 months hoping it hadn't been sold.”

“I think being in the mountains is one of the things that helped me to get through the last few months. I couldn't imagine how I would have held up in flat ass Arkansas.”

“

Sits on 2 acres......got a barn, and lots of relaxation, no cable, no computer, got a hard line phone, got a DVD and VCR player, got room to let the pups run, got a lawn tractor to drive. Its my escape and my SAFE HOUSE.”

“Cool, XL!”

“Yeah, cool, rub it in...rub it in...!
I have no log house. Now I am really very depressed. And I am at the right thread for that.
Thank you very, very much...!”

“i am very happy for you Gremlin and XL, but i am very jealous. as a cashier i have no hope of ever making enough money to own a home ever. a cabin in the woods is truly a dream. always remember how blessed you are.”

“Babydoll, you come to Georgia...and you can use it anytime you want GRATIS.....”

“I'd say, 'What XL said.' but I'm too polite because I'm a Canuck.

Don't lose hope, Pamela. If you moved to the country you'd find things a lot cheaper.

Anyway, it's not really any of my busines.

Also, if you saw my tiny house you'd know it's not one that teachers would normally want. But it suits me fine and saved my life. I finally have the wherewithall to start making repairs and renovations.

Doug”

“Thank you guys, you are too sweet. Tiny homes are perfect, less to collect, less to clean. I am a plain and simple living kind of gal. I think country living would suit me just fine, maybe if I ever get the chance to retire, eh? We'll see. If I get the job I want, there is a retirement fund with it, I already have money in it now from when I worked for the school district before. I am praying, but His will, not mine.”

“"unlocked front doors"
~Gremlin

That's most of the TTers I've met. In fact, there's only one that always locks up (to my knowledge), and he lives in a pretty rural setting in New England.”

“Freakin' Maslow strikes again.

I'm steadily employed again (yay!) - have been for about five weeks. It's an electrical contractor for whom my eldest brother was a founding employee. In fact, I spent the summer of '74 working on their first commercial job. They specialize in schools. I've worked for them off and on for a total of about seven years - my bro did for about 23. If they make one penny on the job I'm on, that means they built the company on my brother's back. His jobs ran smoothly, with very few screw-ups. I've spent about 70% of my time going back and fixing things that have been missed or done incorrectly - mucho $$$ for what shoulda cost pennies. The screw-ups continue on a daily basis - "No big deal" quoth the foreman. Yes, bro, it is a big deal!

Meanwhile, my brother sits at home in a wheelchair. He needs an accessable van. If the owner ever pulls his head out of the sandtrap and shows up on the job, I'm gonna have a man-to-man with him.

Working:
BIG step forward.

Watching the daily follies:
Bummer!

Still living in the Mighty Mighty Tacoma:
Bummer.

Eating alot:
Yummer!”

“And sleeping? Eating sleeping and working is good!

Did you get the New Mexico stuff I sent for the Mighty Mighty Tacoma?”

“Oh yes! I did! I trimmed the one sticker to get "New Mexico" squeezed in on my crowded window. Thanks!

Sleep? You bet! I crash at or before dark, and rise with the first bird chirps.”

“Sleep is inportant!
Glad you are doing lots better.
10 mg of Lexapro each day keeps me going.”

“It's 7:25.
I'm nodding - sleep beckons.

But so does the AYCE Chinese buffet. Priorities, man!

Ummmmmmm... hot and sour soup, sweet and sour chicken, sweet Oriental chicks!”

“Good deal, gojo. Glad you are bouncing back, bro.”

“Glad to hear it Joe! Keep on keepin' on.”

“Good news, I am in your corner too, man.”

“Glad to hear things are looking up.

E-mail me any time.

Good luck.

Doug”

“That's great news.”

“Thanks, y'all.

Back to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs:

Getting back to work is good - tons of needs satisfied in one fell swoop, ie, daily activity, food, gas, etc. But the "high" soon gave way to jonesin' for other needs, ie, permanent residence, mate, etc. The lonliness is whelming.

Anyhoo, I'm back on track toward actualization. If I ever achieve such, I'll be in the minority...”

“I'm feeling the downward slide and determined to fight it HARD!”

“Hey Pamela, I've been missing you. How's going?
My trip to Scotland helped me to shake off the 'dark side', but I almost immediatly had a relapse as soon as I got back in the office....grrrr!”

“I'm fighting it, there are ups and downs. I had a good campout. I got to do two top rope climbs and it didn't hurt! I haven't blogged it yet though, been tired. For other details, hit my myspace blogs, click on my name to get to my myspace. Tell me about your trip.”

“Once I have been trying indoor climbing. I would have liked to go on with it, but unfortunately couldn't find a climbing partner.
I wrote a little trip report on the 'Scotland' thread.

About the 'ups 'n downs', I just remembered that my dad once told me: 'keep your head up, even if your neck is dirty' :-)”

“Go Pammy!
I'm pulling for you.”

“I'll go read that Euro. Thanks Stove! I got up, cleared, wiped down, shined the diningroom table and set out the placemats. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, combed my hair and got dressed. I don't feel any different, but the table and I look better. ;O) I'm looking at a basket of towels and things that I washed last week and I think I will fold and put it away. I will fight this.”

“My thermarest pad suffers from depression......”

“LOL! few good puffs should straighten that our hot rod. I read your TR Euro, sounds like a good time. I hope your dark time goes away soon.”

“i folded that laundry and put it away. i also washed and dried another load. but all of those stupid aches and pains of depression are setting in. i know it's psychosomatic, all in my head, but they actully hurt none the less. i'm using a hot pack on my knees and will go get the ibuprofen out of my 1st aid kit. i can't eat, my stomach is all tied in knots so i'm taking tums. i did manage to drink an ensure. i'm working on this. now i will fold that clean laundry, maybe even put it away. then i will go to sleep at a reasonable hour.”

“Good morning. Just got up. Need a cup of tea now, before I can start my usual Saturday morning routine.
Hey Pamela, what triggered it this time? If I am depressed and deflated as Hot Rods thermarest there is a pretty damn good cause for it, and usually don't need to look far for the thorn.”

“The knee thing, being out of work, not able to backpack/hike and worried whether I'll ever be able. But this was week where things came to a head, triggered by a couple pieces of bad news and reading a sad book. The insurance company won't pay for my Synvisc shots. My boss won't take me back to work until June 10th and I am out of money. (I am going to return a camera for food money though, that should hold me for a week). Never read a sad book when you are already down in the dumps. I have a half bottle of Celexa I started taking last night, it should get me through until Steve's disability checks come and then I can refill it again. I will survive, I've been through worse than this and always come out ok.”

“:-(
:-(
:-(
Give me your address. I send you a box of swiss chocolate.”

“Here's to Gojo and to Pamela for hanging in there.”

“Thankyou Euro and pedxing. I don't need any chocolate really, just prayers will do. :O) I walked around the apt some more yesterday and threw some more junk out, I even took a shower. Sounds stupid, doesn't it? But it's the little things that count, otherwise you might lay in bed all day and do nothing at all. You literally have to force yourself to get up and do things, it's very exhausting. I'm going to wash another load of laundry. I made BrianSean do two chores today, so that my hard work to clean doesn't become undone.”

“I got laid over the weekend - the entire weekend! Poor girl had to be hospitaized yesterday... and I was holding back - lol!


Pammy and Eury -
Chins up. Up up up! Rebounding *almost* makes it all worthwhile. I'm feeling great in most respects. There's a way to go yet, but I'm heading in the right direction. You'll be there too some day, I just know it.”

“So- did all those endorphins help your depression?”

“Wow gojo, tmi, LOL! I hope you visit and bring her flowers!

I am working so hard on beating this. I've stopped crying at least. For the last few days I've been doing lots of laundry and washing lots of dishes, (my two oldest sons dropped in and made dirty dishes, but I don't care it gave me something to do). I just keep walking around and picking up messes and throwing junk out. I just found the top of my dresser drawer, first time in months! I made BrianSean do chores whenever he wanted to do something. Yesterday he had to clear off the desk to get on the computer, man he pitched a fit, (can't say as I blame him, it was pretty messy). But he did it! See I have the password and he doesn't, LOL! amibad?! You bet! He and I did read a book together a couple of times, which I haven't done in like, forever. I am trying to spend as much time with him as possible since I know I will be back at work soon.

What's driving me crazy right now is no smokes. I've evaluated the money situation and realized that 18 days of Steve and I smoking is unaffordable, so that's it, we haven't had a ciggarette in 3 days. He is driving me CRAZY with his incessant WHINING. Approximately every 5 to 15 minutes he asks me to buy ciggarettes, he's begging, pleading, "just 1 pack and I won't ask for anymore, really I won't". Hell if that were true I would have done it already. It's hard enough me not having it, but I swear I am ready to find a tall building and jump off if he keeps this up!”

“You need to get out and hike, now!”

“I really wish I could, God KNOWS I really need it, but my knees are messed up. That's what started this whole thing.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

“I will be ok, better than that I will not just survive, I will thrive!

I did some more cleaning today. I cleaned the kitchen again and dishes and the diningroom. I can see the top of my other dresser drawer now. And BrianSean got into the spirit of things. We sat in his room and went through a lot of stuff and threw out two little garbage can loads. He got really excited when I found his ipod. We had quality time together, sometimes when it got to be too much, we would go into my room and work on it together. In the end I had to set a timer to get him to stop, then he got ready for bed and we read the last chapter of his book.

I only cried once today, only for a little tiny bit. Tomorrow Brian and I will work at it some more, we are breaking it into bite size pieces, he can't wait to get to his desk, he is getting really excited about how his room will look with all the junk out. It's amazing all the stuff we packrats have kept. I've got two huge bags of clothing to give to the church, most of it good stuff that I have gotten to skinny for and BrianSean has outgrown.

Here is a funny thing, I found some money! It was extra, so I gave it to Steve and told him, go get your ciggarettes, make them last! He'll be happy for a while, but I told him when they are gone, don't you dare whine, because I will get out my singing mother's day card and annoy the f*&# out of you with it!

I may be sorry to go back to work now, except for that money/healthcare thing I suppose.”