France Replies to U.N.

“Speak for yourself, LOL”

“hell no, this is the internet. I'm gonna speak for all you sumbiches.”

“French to Send Surrender Advisors to Iraq

Five hundred soldiers from the elite L'Abandonnement du Field d'Honneur Battalion (French Surrender Battalion) of the Legion Etrangere (Foreign Legion) are in the process of shipping out to Iraq where they will assist the elite Iraqi Republican Guards in their inevitable surrender to the overwhelming might of the American Armed Forces.”

“Like I said...”

“I don't think the Iraqis need much help in the surrender department.

They surrendered to a robot plane and a (perish the thought) journalist the last time around.

Given the situation they were in, that was a wise course to take.”

“Really, I'm more worried about this than anything Iraq is doing...

”

“Father Goose is a goober.

But you already knew that.”

“Awww, go fondle yer weasel... ;-)”

“I'm so SORRY if you take offense, but you must realise, people really will think you are hicks if you continue to behave as such.

Look at bacpac. Is THAT how you want to be perceived?”

“"I'm so SORRY if you take offense..."

Who said that they were offended???

"...people really will think you are hicks...'
Tilt
03:02:31 PM
02/12/03

Who, for instance???”

“as a hick, i take offence to that , tilt”

“Shaddup, strat. ;-)”

“fighting a war without the french is like...















fighting a war with the french...”

“The official language of the United Nations is French.
This explains the UN's many stunning successes over
the years.

The French hate the internet, because it's all in unabashed
English. The few smart Frenchies are raking in the money by
adapting to civilized(non-French) society. Their fearless
leaders are busy trying to "protect" the French people from
this progress. Of particular concern is the word "cool".
It is a stupid and ambiguous American term that is corrupting
their society. In French, there is no word for cool or fun.
This fact alone says a lot.

Charles DeGualle spent WWII in England talking tough about
how the war should be fought. But he was the first deserter
of the war. When he helped liberate France, he did it from
a safe distance behind the British and Americans and stopped
when he got to Paris. He didn't even help the allies
push the Germans out of the eastern part of France!

When Joan of Arc went to war against the invaders from
England, the French army followed her faithfully. Until they
got to Paris. And then they stopped. Do you see a pattern
here?

If a French soldier actually does something heroic, his
commander gives him a medal and a kiss on each cheek. What's
that all about, Pierre?

I hear the French tank has 14 gears. 13 of them are in reverse.
The forward gear is for when someone attacks from behind.

Then there's the Maginot Line. Maginot is French for
"Please go around this". Maybe they should have called
it the "Maginary" Line.

King Louis XIV smelled so bad that all his flunkies
carried around handkerchiefs saturated in perfume. They
filtered their air through the handkerchiefs when he was nearby.
How bad must you stink if the Frogs can't breathe around you?

When a Frenchie says, "Oui, Oui," it sounds like he needs to
go to the bathroom.

NATO had to fly around France when attacking Libya in the
80's for terrorist acts. France wouldn't let them in their
airspace. After the airstrike, Libya started terrorizing France instead.

There's just something wrong with a guy named Jean-Louis or Michelle. Likewise there's something wrong with a woman
who doesn't shave her legs.

Historic milestones from great countries: Rome - a world-
class highway system to connect all conquered territories,
the Coliseum, and the Roman legions. Greece - The Olympic
games and the Spartan army. Egypt - The pyramids, King Tut,
and the Library of Alexandria. Britain - Huge invincible
naval fleets, the Magna Charta, and the Empire on which the sun
never sets. America - The interstate highway system, nuclear
warfare, and the moon landing. Germany - Albert Einstein,
the jet fighter, the ICBM, the Porsche 959. France - The
Eiffel Tower, cooked snails, mimes, berets, and the phrase
"Retreat!"

America, England, Japan, Germany, and even Italy are all
renowned for their fancy and expensive supercars. When
did anyone ever dream of the day they could buy a Peugot
or a Le Car? Does France make anything at all of any value?

I took Spanish in high school. We were all holding intelligent conversations with each other within six months, easy. But I asked some otherwise smart students who had
3 years of French to say something in Kermit. None of them
could speak it after 3 years of studying. Is every letter silent, or what?

I told a German lady I once worked with that the French are utterly useless. She said, "No, they are good for testing your new weapons on."

Don't eat any food they won't translate out of French.
It's probably pig face under glass with earwax dressing. Ooh La La. I hear they can't even make french fries right.

That's just pathetic.”

“they prolly drink toe jam wine too....”

“Part of the problem is they make very good wine. They have turned drunkeness into an art form.

A Nation of drunk artists is no contest during a war, but they are intolerable during peace time.”

“The French drink wine instead of beer. Therefore, the French aren't men.”

“Boycott French Cheese.”

“BAN CHEESE! BAN CHEESE!”

“Father Goose, we need you in Quebec to kick those trouble makers out of the province.”

“France has neither winter, nor summer, nor morals. France is miserable because it is filled with Frenchmen, and Frenchmen are miserable because they live in France.

-Mark Twain”

“i see paris , i see france, i see someone's underpants......”

“These two snails called Sam and Ralph live next door to each other and are very good friends. They're uncannily similar and are often mistaken for brothers. They're also really competitive and one day, whilst playing around pretending that they're racing cars, they start arguing about which one of them is the quickest. Well, one of their friends suggests that they should have a drag race on a nearby road to decide.
They agree that it's a great idea and so a whole group of snails gather to watch them. So that they can tell them apart Ralph paints a huge R on his back and Sam paints a big S on his.
The race begins and Ralph gets off to a terrific start. He's miles ahead (well, millimetres) of Sam and it looks like the race is all over, but gradually Sam catches up.
Finally, just before they cross the finishing line, Sam passes Ralph, and the snails in the crowd begin to chant..

"S car go. S car go.!"”

“lol”

“"Father Goose, we need you in Quebec to kick those trouble makers out of the province."
stanlee
09:00:22 PM
02/12/03

Why not just give it to 'em and be done with it?”

“France Was Ready to Send Troops to Iraq

By Glenn Kessler
Washington Post Staff Writer

French officials were prepared to provide as many as 15,000 troops for an invasion of Iraq before relations soured between the Bush administration and the French government over the timing of an attack, according to a new book published in France this week.

The book, "Chirac Contre Bush: L'Autre Guerre" ("Chirac vs. Bush: The Other War"), reports that a French general, Jean Patrick Gaviard, visited the Pentagon to meet with Central Command staff on Dec. 16, 2002 -- three months before the war began -- to discuss a French contribution of 10,000 to 15,000 troops and to negotiate landing and docking rights for French jets and ships.

French military officials were especially interested in joining in an attack, because they felt that not participating with the United States in a major war would leave French forces unprepared for future conflicts, according to Thomas Cantaloube, one of the authors. But the negotiations did not progress far before French President Jacques Chirac decided that the Americans were pushing too fast to short-circuit inspections by U.N. weapons inspectors.

Chirac, the book says, was prepared to join in an attack if Iraqi President Saddam Hussein had not allowed inspectors into Iraq. "Up until December 2002, what everyone told us is that France thought Saddam Hussein was going to make a mistake and not allow inspections," Cantaloube said in an interview.

<snip>”

“Incompetent statesmanship: the hallmark of swaggering c students.”

“The other reason the French didn't participate is that their textile industry couldn't manufacturer White flags quick enough.”