The clock

“That's pretty crazy!”

“I'm speechless...”

“That's pretty wild. Staring at that is like watching the Yule Log burn. I could see doing that in an altered state.”

“so can i get a hat then??????”

“Hey, whatever happened to the Death Clock? You entered your age, smoking and drinking habits, etc. and it would tell you how much time you had left, LOL”

“The clock was very groovy!”

“Your Personal Day of Death is...
Wednesday, February 2, 2045
(isnt this groundhog day)
ok treebeard, Im going to die 3 days after your birthday, sorry”

“Monday, May 30, 2039

Anybody wanna go hiking with me just befoe then?”

“CRAP! I'm already dead.”

“I am dying Saturday, February 23, 2020. It'll probably be my first Saturday off of work in 18 years and I will be driving to finally meet the Michigan Mountaineers for a dayhike...”

“well so far, im going to out live all of you.



can I have your gear then?
just put it into your will”

“Tuesday, May 16, 2017, hopefully at the end of another Spring on the Sods trip.”

“Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May
And Summer's lease hath all too short a date”

“This is good information. Do you think I would be wise to take out a huge loan a month or so before my death date? I mean, it can't be wrong can it?”

“Might give the heirs a scare, mon frere.”

“i'm skeered to look.....”

“that hand must be tired by now”

“if I haven't already.

I had a complete and I mean complete check-up last October, complete with three trips into Montreal for icky-poo internal stuff. I'm 54 and my heartbeat is 62 and my pressure in 110/80. I eat like a pig and drink like a fish, hike, climb and play rugby (prop). When I went for the follow-up, my doctor whom I have known for 25 years said, 'Doug, I had your liver enzymes checked.'

'Oh my God.' I thought.

'They're normal.' she said.

Well I had already filled out the donor card that comes with our driver's permit and often joked that it was for everything but my liver which would go to McGill for research. Now I tell everyone that my liver is going into a silver reliquary and is being sent to the shrine in Lourdes, France.

Red wine and brown beer is the secret - called flavenoids, apparently. You think I do it for fun?”

“Please don't bury me
Down in that cold cold ground
No, I'd druther have "em" cut me up
And pass me all around
Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they don't mind the size...


-- JP”

“take it from me, don't mess with your Liver. that goes and your screwed!!!”

“hummm tried it huh Portnoy errr Pottymouth ?”

“It said I've got 5 years too live. :o( I guess it's no more tasty microbrews for me dammit....”

“John Prine!”

“This weekend my wife and I finished our Will and Power of Attourney! Seeing I'm older than her, guess I'm toast! Wish I coulda metcha all!”

“My company has filters on this. Check this one out...

notaste”

“That person's writing is like a 3 years old....well, maybe a 2 years old child. Cute, never the less.”

“Each time I clicked on the Death Clock it came up with a different date, I guess I'll just have to wait and see”

“Jan 24, 2074! I get to live till I'm 100. :-))))

Man, that's the best news I've had all day!”

“Not if one of those errant comets strike the earth first. :o(”

“I believe our death date is already set. No matter what we do we can not hasten our predetermined demise. You are no more at risk of losing your life while backpacking with a pack full of nitro glycerine than you are while sitting on your couch watching survivor (people do die that way). Tho only problem is that there is no set time for broken limbs, paralysis, third degree burns, etc.. So, if you screw up years before your predestined death date, then you will have a hell of a long time to suffer with your injuries.”

“They did that in "Vertical Limits"...carrying nitro in their packs going up Everest. I liked that film.”

“THE DEATH CLOCK



Im outta here on

Saturday, January 13, 2035”

“Thursday, July 11, 2052”

“Wednesday, July 13, 2044”

“see, there is the proof that you are all killing me.”

“Oh cool... I remember this one...


well #&%!$! I'm already dead.”

“"The internet content you are trying to access has been blocked."

I guess that means Death can't have me.”

“Not soon enough....”

“August 29, 2042...(66 yo)I Doubt it.”

“jeez, bison, do you run with scissors or something?”

“I don't know, BMI's good, I do smoke thought, but so did my great grandma, she made 102.”

“Ah...smoking. That's what did it.”

“George Burns is my hero. He drank martinis and smoked cigars every day and lived to be 100.”

“I think when ol' Georgie was in his 80's, his doc made him cut back to three cigars a day from five.”

“egads,,,,,Xmas eve 2053,,I just wanna go like my grandfather and not like those screaming in the backseat.”

“There's my cue.............



chorus:
Oooooooh…
It's never to late to start living
To get out and have some fun
The sun will just as shiny in the morning
As the first day the world begun.

When I was eighty I started smoking
Took to drinking at eighty five
At ninety I started courting
Thank God that I was alive
Ninety five saw me in business
Determined to rake in a pile
At a hundred I made my first million , whoopee
And I started living in style

(chorus)

Well I moved to an uptown penthouse
Used fifties to light my cigars
Developed a taste for fine champagne
Drove fast I talian cars
But the doctor he give me a warning
And a lecture on right and wrong
If I didn't give up my sinful ways
I couldn't live very long
But I said to him…

(chorus)

Liam: "It gets kinda sad from here on in"

Now I'm a two-hundred-year-old alcoholic
And the nicotine's caught up on me
But worst of all, in this mornings mail
I got a suit for paternity
Now I'm not really unhappy
'Cause maybe I'll have me a son
And his mornings will be just as shiny
As the first day the world begun.

(BIG chorus)

Liam: "Sing like you mean it"

(Another big chorus)




"The 200-Year-Old Alcoholic"
from 'An Unknown Friend' of Liam Clancy, "from Boone, NC, with The EXplosive 'B'"
The Makem And Clancy Concert (Shanachie 52003)

”

“egads,,,,,Xmas eve 2053,,

Briar Rabbit
12:32:51 PM


then may i suggest that you ask for your christmas gifts early that year.”

“Buncha punks........”