Government Warnings

“Go to the country
Build you a home”

“Orwell was right - just 20 years off. This is an actual screenshot from an AOL welcome page!

”

“My wife raised the same question.

Okay, you're supposed to have food and water. Ya, gotta cook the food. And if you put food and water in, ya gotta have a place to put what comes out.

'Spose you could set up your backpacking stove in the bathroom, but hey.....

....besides tests have shown that air in 'safe' rooms totally exchange air with the outside in 2-3 hours!

Seems like it would be better to not spend money on duct tape and buy a bottle of wine.”

“don't take this the wrong way or anything, but you all are stupid friggin idiots......”

“Strat, how could anyone take that the wrong way? Coming from you, it's like a nobel prize!

Glory be!”

“ok phaed.......i bet the people who worked in the WTC would have laughed ata you on 9-10 if you told them 2 airliners were gonna crash into them and toppple them....you ...along with most of the nation...have a short attention span . .. ...


we are at war...get over it man...”

“3000 people died in the WTC atrocities. Not enough for you?

I remember well. I also realize that you have a better chance of dying by being hit by a car than being killed in a terrorist attack. So who are the troops protecting, strat? Not you. Not me.

We're at war...get over it man...

Get over what? Get over the fact that you have no earthly concept of what it is you're saying? Okay I'm over it.”

“CIA Director George Tenet informed the Senate this week that
multiple intelligence sources indicated an al-Qa'ida terrorist
attack is very likely, saying this information was "not idle
chatter" but rather "the most specific we have seen, and it is
consistent with both our knowledge of al-Qa'ida's doctrine and our
knowledge of plots this network -- and particularly its senior
leadership -- has been working on for years." Tenet added that
the Jihadi network is "living in the expectation of resuming
the offensive," and indicated the next attack may involve a
radiological weapon. FBI Director Robert Mueller noted that there
are believed to be "several hundred" Muslim extremists residing in
the U.S. in al-Qa'ida sleeper cells "that we have not identified."

Speaking of all those unidentified al-Qa'ida cell members
that found their way across our borders and have settled in
U.S. suburbs, we have only made marginal progress securing those
borders. To wit, four Cuban defectors floated their coast guard
patrol boat straight into the Hyatt Marina Resort in Key West,
Florida, late last week, then walked into town and surrendered to
a policeman. The Cubans were armed, and their vessel was still
flying the Cuban flag.

Key West fortifications not withstanding, the "high alert" issued
last Friday bumped all 425 military bases in the U.S. from Threat
Condition Alpha to Threat Condition Bravo. Stinger anti-aircraft
missiles have been deployed around Washington, DC, and combat
air patrols have been stepped up over Washington and New York.
Police with automatic weapons are present on the streets in large
numbers.

But, alas, the heightened threat alert may be more déjà vu than
protecting you. You recall that information about terrorists
entering the country from Canada leading to that alert issued just
before Christmas turned out to be a hoax. Now it appears that
part of the body of "intelligence" leading to the latest enhanced
alert was provided by an al-Qa'ida captive -- who, subsequently,
failed a polygraph. (We note, however the additional evidence of
serious threat is legitimate.)

Predictably, the recent high alert has given all the 24-hour
news cycle talkingheads something to chatter about over plenty of
"terror alert" graphics, and that has inspired some urban dwellers
to empty hardware stores of WMD countermeasures like duct tape
and plastic.

Regarding the effectiveness of the national threat alert advisory
system, the Homeland Security Department is charged with the
judicious issuance of alerts, even though they may be the result
of "unconfirmed, unsubstantiated, uncorroborated and unspecified"
threats. (Of course, if the threats were confirmed, substantiated,
corroborated and specific, there would likely be no need to issue
an alert because there would be enough information about the
threat vector to countervail it.) The reason for issuing warnings
is threefold: First, millions of alert citizens are a far more
effective deterrent against a general threat than a few thousand
counter-terrorism agents. Second, if a warning is issued only
through state and local law enforcement networks, it would take
about one nanosecond for that information to find its way into
the 24-hour news cycle -- thus giving control of the message to
TV talkingheads -- generating confusion and, potentially, panic.
And third, issuing such alerts tends to desensitize the public,
preparing the nation to psychologically process an attack if it
does occur. (It is a cold irony that because the grotesque images
of 9-11 are etched into the memory of virtually every American,
we are better prepared to manage the horror of the next attack.)
But threat alerts must be issued judiciously, or they may,
ultimately, be ignored.



what i'm saying is...they have you right where they want you....bickering amongst yourselves while they plan your violent death.....



life's a biotch but i deal wit it......”

“what i'm saying is...they have you right where they want you....bickering amongst yourselves while they plan your violent death.....


If I were still in the military, I would agree with you in this quote about the bush administration.”

“so you think bush wants his troops to die? do you really think that? you think bush is worse than hussein? man dood....that's jsut sad.....”

“Did I say worse?

Is it multiple choice, and those are my only two options?

Is that how you think?”

“what do you mean then?

i draw logical conclusions....”

“
i draw logical conclusions...."
stratdewd
12:19:57 AM
02/21/03


I'll be chuckling about that for days! Thanks!

Good night.”

“PLease strat. lock yourself in a room while the gas is flying and cross your legs and kiss your ass goodbye. There's a definite likelihood that if a nuclear bomb goes off outside your home, its was some crazy bastard. Maybe by a good American citizen like Timmothy McVey, oh, who did, if you remember, hold the record for the largest terrorist attack on American soil until Saddamite came along.

Button it up at home where the problems have been PROVEN time and time again.”

“There’s a store in Manhattan which opened last fall (http://www.saferamerica.com) that reports strong sales of personal parachutes for evacuating high rise buildings and gas masks. Paranoia is great for the economy.”

“it really is, violin.


phaed, don't choke on your tofu...



rosey....i'll take ma chances in the woods.....”

“Hehehe! Forget the personal parachute, I want a personal jetpack! That would be way more fun to play with.

Oh ... uh .. but very useful in my disaster prepared kit.”

“that'd be cool for hiking lyndsy!”

“Shamey shame shame shame. You liberal homos continue to know it all. You'll be the first ones crying that the Bush Administration didn't do enough to protect you when the #&%!$ hits the fan.

What did he know and when did he know it? That it'll be your cry. Just ask Hitlery Klinton.

When Bill Klinton was bombing Iraq the liberals were silent. They had to be. Klinton was busy hiding the fact that he was cheating on his wife and lying to the American people about it.

This is liberal thinking:

We can't have a war and get innocent people killed! We have to wait and see if innocent people are killed here first. If they are, we'll take out Saddam with a democrat president, unless he has a nuclear bomb or two. Then we can blame Bush for not taking out Saddam before he became a nuclear power.”

“We have to wait and see if innocent people are killed here first

Actually, it's "we have to wait and see if any more people are killed here first."”

“How many of the 9-11 terrorists were Iraqis?”

“I know! I know! Pick me!”

“How many ME countries are aggressive expansionist powers that want to play nuclear blackmail with the world's oil supplies?”

“I know! I know! Pick me!”

“New York, Disassociated Press, Feb. 21...The American economy bottomed out this week after millions of Americans went out and bought up duct tape and sheet plastic on credit and then refused to pay their bills.
Not all was lost, however. Red Green, progenitor of The Red Green Show, was able to purchase a lifetime supply of duct tape at yard sales during a trip in the Possum Van throughout the states.
"It's the handyman's friend," the garalous Green commented. "If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy."”

“Some people use duct tape to tie their women down. Kinky.”

“"I can't decide whether to make my safe room the kitchen or the bathroom."
bacpac
04:35:33 PM
02/20/03

The wine cellar, dude!!!







Sheesh...”

“WARNING: This Product Warps Space and Time in Its Vicinity.
WARNING: This Product Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the Universe, Including the Products of Other Manufacturers, with a Force Proportional to the Product of the Masses and Inversely Proportional to the Distance Between them.
CAUTION: The Mass of This Product Contains the Energy Equivalent of 85 Million Tons of TNT per Net Ounce of Weight.
HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE: This Product Contains Minute Electrically Charged Particles Moving at Velocities in Excess of Five Hundred Million Miles Per Hour.
CONSUMER NOTICE: Because of the "Uncertainty Principle," It Is Impossible for the Consumer to Find Out at the Same Time Both Precisely Where This Product Is and How Fast It Is Moving.
ADVISORY: There is an Extremely Small but Nonzero Chance That, Through a Process Know as "Tunneling," This Product May Spontaneously Disappear from Its Present Location and Reappear at Any Random Place in the Universe, Including Your Neighbor's Domicile. The Manufacturer Will Not Be Responsible for Any Damages or Inconvenience That May Result.
READ THIS BEFORE OPENING PACKAGE: According to Certain Suggested Versions of the Grand Unified Theory, the Primary Particles Constituting this Product May Decay to Nothingness Within the Next Four Hundred Million Years.
THIS IS A 100% MATTER PRODUCT: In the Unlikely Event That This Merchandise Should Contact Antimatter in Any Form, a Catastrophic Explosion Will Result.
PUBLIC NOTICE AS REQUIRED BY LAW: Any Use of This Product, in Any Manner Whatsoever, Will Increase the Amount of Disorder in the Universe. Although No Liability Is Implied Herein, the Consumer Is Warned That This Process Will Ultimately Lead to the Heat Death of the Universe.
NOTE: The Most Fundamental Particles in This Product Are Held Together by a, "Gluing" Force About Which Little is Currently Known and Whose Adhesive Power Can Therefore Not Be Permanently Guaranteed.
ATTENTION: Despite Any Other Listing of Product Contents Found Hereon, the Consumer is Advised That, in Actuality, This Product Consists Of 99.9999999999% Empty Space.
NEW GRAND UNIFIED THEORY DISCLAIMER: The Manufacturer May Technically Be Entitled to Claim That This Product Is Ten-Dimensional. However, the Consumer Is Reminded That This Confers No Legal Rights Above and Beyond Those Applicable to Three-Dimensional Objects, Since the Seven New Dimensions Are, "Rolled Up" into Such a Small "Area" That They Cannot Be Detected.
PLEASE NOTE: Some Quantum Physics Theories Suggest That When the Consumer Is Not Directly Observing This Product, It May Cease to Exist or Will Exist Only in a Vague and Undetermined State.
COMPONENT EQUIVALENCY NOTICE: The Subatomic Particles (Electrons, Protons, etc.) Comprising This Product Are Exactly the Same in Every Measurable Respect as Those Used in the Products of Other Manufacturers, and No Claim to the Contrary May Legitimately Be Expressed or Implied.
HEALTH WARNING: Care Should Be Taken When Lifting This Product, Since Its Mass, and Thus Its Weight, Is Dependent on Its Velocity Relative to the User.
IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PURCHASERS: The Entire Physical Universe, Including This Product, May One Day Collapse Back into an Infinitesimally Small Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently Re-emerge, the Existence of This Product in That Universe Cannot Be Guaranteed.
WARNING: Please use this product with the utmost care and sensitivity. Children under the age of 10 have been known to experience discomfort when informed as to the actual purpose of this product.
CAUTION: Toaster ovens not headgear.







...and my personal favorite, stolen from a parking garage in San Diego;

WARNING
The air in this parking garage contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and reproductive toxicity. Pregnant women are especially advised to avoid or reduce their exposure to automobile engine exhaust, which contains carbon monoxide, a chemical known to cause birth defects.”

“LOL! where have I been that I missed THIS thread lately??”

“Being born can cause death.”

“Well people it seems that we have shot ourselves in the rear again,can we sue the I.N.S. for allowing every crying towelhead and their sand loving cousins to flood in the ole U.S.ofA for an education,small business loan"7-11"and all? When will the world huggers wake up,New York City,kind of a liberal bunch,has more Mohammads ect than anywhere and pow they kill hundreds of their "own people" in the towers.Are we at a shortage of people here or something?It seems that no one wants to offend anyone no matter how anti U.S. the trash are,but they keep pouring in demanding respect, I thought a person had to earn that. Yes I,m old school! Its time for some housecleaning folks, the talk iran to death just doesnt seem to be working.Mabey a nuke or two,while the towers were still smoking might have got our point across.ah I feel better, think I,ll take a nice hike. I was a grunt!”

“I guess the rabies vaccination didn't take.”

“lmao tiltie!

i liked him, lol....


mark, wipe the froth from your chin, they'll be nicer to ya.


and thanks for defending us.”