Romance 101 - FOR GUYS ONLY!

“FOR ALL YOU GUYS WHO WANT TO BE ROMANTIC BUT ARE GENDER CHALLENGED I SUGGEST "1001 WAYS TO BE ROMANTIC" BY GREGORY GODEK.
(Dang Caps Lock!)
It got a lot of good ideas. And a lot of dumb ones too.

Sorry this hint is so late.”

“are you guys all rushing out the door to the bookstore, or what?
:-D”

“here ya go, guys!

a href=http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/search-handle-form/103-9911197-3645403>buyitnow

Buy It Today”

“try this

buyittoday”

“officially giving up on links today”

“It's an affliction called mapleitis.”

“got a good case toady, Geo”

“Toady I'll agree with ya pal.”

“toadyilly!”

“So, one day you go up to her, whisper sweet nothings in her ear, caress her hair, smooch her neck, and she sez:





































GET SERIOUS JACK!”

“So, you go out and look for Serious Jack, but while you're out, you see your neighborhood bar beckoning you like a siren. Unable to fight off the call, you enter, and drink yourself #&%!$faced, then go home and pass out on the couch. The End.”

“You're a true romantic, Bit!”

“Yah I know. Never done that, even though I now actually have a neighborhood bar, which sells huge Viking-sized steins of beer for $3. It's not a bad place, if you don't mind discussing deer hunting with a bunch of good ol' boys.”

“Doh! No wonder I always end up single again. I didn't understand she wanted me to go out and get Serious Jack! The bar was nice though.”

“backrubs and buttrubs”

“Nothing spells romance on a first date than 'goin commando'.

Hold to silence and your chances of committing error are greatly lessened.”

“Better to keep your mouth shut and have people think you are a fool, rather than to open it and remove all doubt.”

“I've been reading "The Sensuous Dirty Old Man" and working on my leer.”

“I normally choose to not pass gas during the first date. Sure, holding it in can hurt, but hey, you have to make sacrifices sometimes.”

“Oh, Artex, I think you're the man of my dreams! :)”

“Are you sure that's wise, Artex? I mean, she might actually prefer smelling a little (or a lot) of flatulence, as opposed to being immolated in the fireball when you finally explode...”

“Yeah, you know, it's a risk you gotta take. It's such a huge relief when after you drop her off and you're driving home and you just let a huge, long, droning one rip that lasts the whole drive home.

On a somewhat serious note. I use camping as a way to break the ice (wind?) with any girl I'm dating. Being out in the woods is the perfect opportunity to rip that first one in front of her, since you're already dirty and stuff anyway. It's worked everytime.”

“I agree with Briar Rabbit... "Nothing spells romance on a first date than groin commando."”

“Another word to the wise, don't turn away from the campfire when you do that. See "immolation" above...”

“I always thought Artex was one tough dude for ressling that hawg, but it suddenly dawns on me he didn't really ressle it, he gassed that poor sucker.”

“Perhaps Artex should be placed under international sanctions due to his possession of WMD...”

“Oops, is this the men's locker room? Should have read the sign.”

“I say fart in front of her nd act like it was nothing at all. Odds are good that if she is gonna be round for a spell she's gonna get a wif o' gas sooner or later. If she bails she wasnt a keeper.”

“I have a feeling you guys are never going to get laid.


But, hey, it's just a feeling.”

“what't the big deal w/ rippin' one? any girl worth your time would not be offended. she would, in fact, fart right back at ya!”

“The-Nav, for better or worse Sass gets the full brunt of my high vegetable and fruit diet. She ususally just says " holy crap are you dying?"”

“"What crawled up inside of you and died?"”

“I jump and look behind me saying "A mouse on a motorcycle!"”

“This thread stinks.”

“"I've been reading "The Sensuous Dirty Old Man" and working on my leer."
Tilt
01:42:53 PM
02/12/03

now theres a title I could relate to :}”

“You guys are craking me up! I thought I was the only fartmeister.”

“As my mother sweetly proclaims after letting loose, "Better out than in!"”

“The Latin for that is;

Quackus Rectum”

“Dominus vobiscum, Sassafras, you poor thang!”