We Hate Artex

“Artex,

Shut your pie-hole, your ass stinks. I've smelled circuses that smell better than your rectal emmissions. I think you farted near Freshkills and that's why it was closed down - the familes in the area where tired of having their pictures rattle off the walls due to your rear-end's sonic boom. The EPA should declare your rump a Super Fund site.

Now, stop looking for attention and go fart elsewhere!!!!

;)”

“remind me never to let one go in your vicinity”

“Jeez, first she shoves Corporal Nasty into a snow bank and then she blasts Artex ... How the hell's life treating ya Twinks?”

“hehehe - yeah, I'm a real toughy! LOL!

Corp' neglected to say that the reason I have a fat lip is because he stuck his ski pole out and tripped me up 'cause he was losing the race....that's why I then had to give him a face wash... LOL!!!!! ;) ;) ;)”

“And him such a delicate li'l feller!”

“oh yeah...and geo...if'n yer not careferl...ya mightin be gittin' a whopping yerself! argh har har har!!!”

“Well ya only picks on little tiny guys from what I see. If I hit you with my belly, gal, you're going flying!”

“ah yes...I see...seems you have forgotten about my "powers of mind control"....

besides - aren't you still an invalid or something - Mr. Wawwwww I hurt My Leg and Now I have to Take Arsnec.....blah blah blah

;)”

“I fart, therefore I am.”

“Twink, ... your "powers of mind control?" You assume there is something there to control. Du-uh!”

“a greeting for farty, arty!

http://www.cutestuf.com/flash_0203/splishsplashbaby.cfm

(sorry, can't figure out how to make a link here....)”

“OMG LMFAO to fricken funny!!!

turn up your speakers real loud!!!



OMG you killed the ducky!

maple”

“If you think he's got rectal problems, get a load of this bunch. And the next time he blows snot rockets, think of this launch pad...

Gerbil Rocket

(1997 - 1998) "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to save the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told the bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner, Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.
"I pushed a cardboard toilet paper tube up his rectum and slipped Ragout, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon,' my cue that he'd had reached nirvana, so to speak. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he simply would not come out, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him."
At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman desribed what happened next.

"The match ignited a pocket of intestinal methane gas in Kiki's colon. Flames shot out the tube, ignited Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers, causing it to scurry further up Kiki's colon, which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out of the cardboard tube like a cannonball."

Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.

Sadly, Ragout the gerbil did not survive the incident.


1998 Urban Legend”

“OMG, I have sunk to a new low. Matt, I deserve to be punished...”

“BAN TREEBEARD.

I think that is mean since just thsi past weekend your daughters gerbil diead!!

you meany!!


LOl that was gross!”

“i don't think they were related.”

“lol.....thats a classic.”

“LMAo, that was a whole lot funnier than any other urban legend I've heard before.”

“I want to touch the gerbil”

“LMAO! Oh man, that story is insane!”

“you got to hear this

funny prank call”

“So, ent, how DID your daughter's gerbil die? Was it's name Ragout, hmmmmm???”

“That is freakin' hysterical!

Father Goose, that gerbil chewed through anything. I know what you're thinking. Lol. But, with razor sharp teeth like that, you would have heard the screams in the Catskills if he disappeared down that highway.”

“Treebeard - sounds like your pet Gerbil was no stranger to the Hershey highway! lol!!!

This is all really gross! BAN whoever started this!!!”

“BAN TREEBEARD”

“Yes, Ban Me! I need help badly. These bizarre stories on the internet just seem to find me.”

“Four threads on Artex, he's the man.”

“""”