We Hate Artex

“Well the irony finally got to me. I have been accused of being a ‘gassy’ person, by lots of people whose smelly comments towards me pale in comparison to anything I might have done.

Several people have posted that I have a history of having a farting problem. I say gas up or shut up. (This comment is sure to bolster their contentions.) Search your olfactory nerves and show examples to support your claims. If you think I am such a smelly guy, prove it. While you are at it why don’t you smell some of your own farts.

Thanks to those of you who have defended my African barking spiders on this public message board.

Have a nice smelling day.”

“Gas is cool!

8)”

“Whats all the hate about???

Just because we are disgusted by your belching and farting orifices doesn't mean we hate you...

We just want you to get help...

or a subscription to the Cork of the Month Club”

“BAN FARTEX!!!!







Actually, bro, after this past weekend, I think I gotcha beat...”

“Artext you are pimp!

8)”

“DA SMELLERS DA FELLAR!



THE GUILTY DOG BARKS FIRST! !



HE WHO SMELT IT , DEALT IT! !


fatherG and artex are gonna have a flatulence match!”

“Exibit A
What about the belch that blew the biscuit right out of Tara's hand????”

“I think Artex is guilty of having an unpopular smell and strongly defending it.

I also think that Artex's sense of humor is not appreciated by most here and is usually misconstrued as him being odiferous. Dude was in PR. Every PR hound I've ever met has made his living by spouting gas.

Other than that he has his moments (good or bad) like the rest of us.

Keep posting”

“I may not like what comes out of Artex's ass, but I will defend to the death his right to emit it.”

“Exhibit A Pete? Holy methane Batman! I hike with this guy almost every week. I got your Exhibits A thru Z and back again!”

“Blame it on the dog.”

“Who is "We..."?”

“I like ya even if you are a queefer.”

“Remember what happened to Cartman...

If an 80-foot satellite dish pops out of his butt, RUN...”

“Cap'n Beano!”

“Still waiting for odor from my detractors.

When it is all said in done, the reason some of these folks hate me so much is that I force them to smell themselves. They don’t like what they smell and they hate me for it. When I challenge their scence of smell with farts and original toots they hate me.

Since these are such ‘nice-smelling people’ they convince themselves that the reason they hate my butt and what it does is because of my actions. I create an odor in their nose that they cannot tolerate. To accept me requires that they admit they can't breath in. Instead they lash out and attack my butt, my gas and my right to release the mouse on his motorcycle. They hate me for starting this thread.

I will never convince a person who is shy about passing gas that just letting it rip is better. They hate me just for saying it.

SBD”

“BTW - WTF?”

“I don't hate you Artie-poo. I just think you might be a less stinky human if you tightened up a bit. I know some great places for that in San Francisco. Let me know anytime and I'll take you over there. (You'll have to pay for your Kaopectate and charcoal tablets of course, but it'll be a great time.)”

“Artex, you blow.




:)”

“"Liberals don't base their decisions on reason. They make decisions based upon flatulance."
artex
05:16:34 PM
02/13/03

That is a pretty smelly conclusion."
artex
05:23:41 PM
02/13/03

You assume too much. Try being less gasious."
Artex
05:31:45 PM
02/13/03

Is this a farting thread from bacpac?!"”

“You are wrong Artex. Nobody has called your gas "not nice." Nobody has that high an opinion of it. Repulsive, noxious, toxic, but never "not nice!"”

“It's OK with me as long as you don't cause Global Warming. Maybe you need to check with the EPA to make sure you're not violating air quality standards.”

“Say what you will, but I don’t think Artex has ever urinated in a spring.”

“just letting it rip is better. They hate me just for saying it.

SBD"
Artex
06:23:06 AM
02/18/03


I would rather have someone let it rip every once in a while, then have someone HOLD for a long while then let it RIP. That could be very scary!!!”

“Duuuuuuuude!!! I think I can speak for everyone here (or nearly everyone) when I say that we have ZERO inclination to lash out at your butt.”

“Corks and Kegs


you can drink the beer and use the corks for err what ever floats your boat!”

“Could be a safety issue, depending on what velocity the cork flies at.”

“thats why I run and duck for cover when i start to here him gurgle”

“Dude, if you could make it come out to the tune of Mary Poppins's "A spoon full of sugar", I would not only accept your gas, I would welcome it(provided there was no open flame nearby).”

“If stars are born in gas clouds, then Artex is just starting little solar systems.”

“Just watch out for "The Big Bang", Geo!”

“We were thinking of rigging a gas powered heater to Artex. I admit its not as fancy as the Satelite dish in Cartman's a$$, but hey it would serve a purpose.”

“LOL you guys are too funny this morning”

“You want proof?

Exhibit A; "I farted to the tune of William Tell, stinking with each half-note"

artex - What music are you TTing to
05:25:34 PM
01/13/01

Exhibit B; "I purposely brought hard boiled eggs, kippered snacks, and Arkansas moonshine to the hike. It was fun clearing out the entire campground"

artex - Catskills extravaganza 2002
12:22:34 PM
05/28/02

Exhibit C; "So Pennsy says, What crawled up your a$$ and died? huh, huh... that gerbil had been in there for months"

artex - FYAO III - Trip report thread
10:17:03 AM
02/13/03

Dude, I'm sorry, but I will never hike with you again. Sure, AmyG was alittle gassy, but you ARE a malicious little farting man. I had to air my gear in the backyard. And the Raven said, nevermore, nevermore.”

“"If the body farts, it's alive."

By Gordon, no, the other Gordon known only by MontanaPaloozers.”

“T'is better to have farted and lost than to never have farted at all.”

“"ARE a malicious little farting man"


them there are farting err I mean fighting words!”

“Awwww, blow it out yer @ss, Fartex...








...oh, wait a minute, he already did...








RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!”

“The snow storm was supposed to be futher north, but Artex created a warm front on his ride home from the Daks. This created a High pressure system which pushed the storm to the south.

I really feel bad for Ice Tea. He was stuck in a car with him for several hours. He is actually several years older then he claims. The gas just peeled a few layers of skin off, making him look much younger.”

“Artex, you are a legend in your own slime.”

“do you still like food?”

“Answer to all who passed judgment on passed gas...

crackasmile”

“Don't ya just hate the smell when pumpkins rot?”

“How 'bout the sound of rotten pumpkins hitting the pavement from a fifth-story window???”

“Let he who is without gas pass the first fart”

“wel at least you know that you will always have a friend with Sarabelle.”

“there's a reality show to be had here somewhere”