train of thought

“I was watching the military heli maneuvers above my parents neighborhood from their back porch. I though a chimenia would be great out there in the cool weather. Then I thought about plastic sheeting or something temporary to block the breeze. Then I thought about plastic for making safe rooms in case of gas attacks. THen I thought how many idiots out there built safe rooms with tyvek, which not vapor proof. THen I thought about vapor barriers in sleeping bags, and can you fart enough in a vapor liner to inflate it, and will it hold? YOu know, like a fart balloon in your sleeping bag?

Just wondering.”

“wtf? i have no clue what you just said, but it sounded kinda strange”

“Ok you know I have meds that can help you with that.

8o”

“LOL CMB!!”

“Well I do!

They help me!

8)”

“to pass this along:

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%.
How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.

What makes life 100%?

If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%

K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%

But,
A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%

And,
B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%

So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close,
attitude will get you there, and bull#&%!$ will put you over the top.

But, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A S S K I S S I N G
1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118%”

“Thank-you, Mr. Phil!

But seriously people, don't any of you do free-association? Or just a free ranging train of thought? Linking together things by the remotest similarities. Kinda like the 6 degrees of separation thing, but not just people.”

“Put down the crack pipe and back away.”

“Note to self *never buy or borrow a sleeping bag from Artex or treebait*”

“Sorry, don't do any drugs. Never have, never will, and am a little pi$$ed that anyone would think so.”

“Thank you!

I love it.

Think you just made my 2003!


(Hey, remember, I'm jobhunting.)”

“Hey, I'm known for joking around.”

“So what kind of drugs are you people doing???

8)”

“It's all in fun treebait!

I riding Code Red tonight!”

“Phil, "YOU" should be the one on TV. LOL”

“Phil that is a new way of looking at life!

8)”

“Too Funny Phil!!!!”

“Eat lots of beans with chilli...that ought to help.”

“"THen I thought about vapor barriers in sleeping bags, and can you fart enough in a vapor liner to inflate it, and will it hold? YOu know, like a fart balloon in your sleeping bag?

Just wondering."
treebait
07:07:56 PM
02/18/03

Sounds like a question for the prince of the Power Poot, the Guru of Gas, the Baron of the Butt Trumpet, the Duke of Dookie, the Dauphin of Dump, the Viscount of Vapor, the one , the only......(drumroll, please...).....Artex!!!”

“.... and then I saw this thread titled "train of thought"... and then I thought about my last Amtrak trip... and then I thought about the college gal next to me, who went to school... and then I thought of hiking at Garden of the Gods in that vicinity... and then I thought about Branson...

Go figure that thought association!!! LOL”

“I imagine you'd have to have the vapor barrier cinched pretty darn tight around your neck, so no gas would escape. Doesn't sound comfortable to me. I don't like the idea. Might be "irresponcible and dangerous"* to boot!




*denotes quote from bacpac.



I think like that often. I think it means we don't have enough stimuli.”

“artex steps up to the podium and the crowd goes wild. he smiles, taking in the applause for a moment, then holds up his hands to silence the crowd. he taps the microphone to verify it is working properly.

Thank you. I would just like to verify that vapor bags not only do a great job at holding in condensation, they also do a great job at holding in methane. Overnight, while you sleep, your farts will be trapped inside to sit and age like a fine wine. It is the reason that I don't use a cantern lantern to burn off condensation. Thank you.

artex walks off the stage to a standing ovation.”

“See? I told you, dangerous! ;)”

“What's a cantern lantern???”

“Errr, candle lantern. C'mon, I just woke up a little bit ago! :-)”

“OK. That's one hell of a typo! ;-)”

“Backpacking with Ice Tea will do that to you.”

“We literary types like to call this kind of narration, 'stream of semi-conciousness.

The answer is, of course, 42.”

“The mice were furious.”

“(25 March 1993) A terrible diet and room with no ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man who was killed by his own gas. There was no mark on his body but autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage. It was just
the right combination of foods. It appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had he been outside or had his windows been opened, it wouldn't have been fatal. But the man was shut up in his near airtight bedroom. He was a big man with a huge capacity for creating this deadly gas. Three of the rescuers got sick and one was hospitalized.

Winner, 1994 Darwin Awards”

“Tilt, I posted something very similar last week (on the loosing weight thread) but it was like the 3rd or 4th runner up. Darn chain e-mails!


Treebait, not only do I think like that a lot, but that's also how my house chores go. I start in the kitchen, and then I walk to put something from the kitchen into the living room, and then I see that the window has kitty nose prints on it, so I go grab the windex from the closet, and some paper towel from the kitchen, and see that something needs to be put in the dishwasher, but then realize the floor should be swept up now and not later, so I do that in the kitchen and while its out do it in the bathroom too, but see that the bath towels need to be washed....

eventually it all gets done. :)”

“Your cleaning routine is random access...”

“A bald man makes me wonder if he biced his head or used Nair and Nair makes me think of long sexy smooth legs like mashed potatoes at the Ponderosa where I hate to eat but only went because there was a cousin there who could give me free meals because I'm short on cash because my job sucks. God, that reminds me how she used to suck......at softball, so I kicked her off the team for someone who didn't suck and wondered if I had made the right decison. We won that year. I've never been big on winning, but I won a trip to Florida one time and had a great time on the beach. Have you seen that movie with Leonardo DiCaprio he reminds me of one of those guys in Lord of the Flys. I read that book when I was in high school. I didn't really fit in in high school but there was this one girl who came to our school from California. She was really hot and everyone wanted to date her. She picked me. I still think about her but I also think about other things like why does God make things like tornadoes and train wrecks. I think that came from a song by the Crash Test Dummies. Reminds me of college and sunny afternoons playing volleyball with a keg in the back seat of the Escort. My mom just traded in her Escort for a Saturn. She needed a new car. She's planning to make a drive to Michigan this summer to see family. I used to spend summers in Michigan. I once spent a summer at Michigan Tech taking a class in small engine repair. I don't know why, I don't even like small engines.

Hmmm that reminds me......”

“your train of thought is off the tracks”

“Train of thought wreck?”

“I most often think like this when trying to fall asleep, or during a really long and boring road trip.”

“My train of thought consists of an engine and a caboose these days. Or maybe an engine and EOT.*





*End of Train light.”

“Concentrate people...try concentrating.”

“How can we concentrate when a large percentage of the threads on this site end up with their trains running off track?”

“Smiley Girl cleans just like me. I was told that it represents "attention deficit" behavior. Stimulants like caffeine or Ritalin or good sex may or may not correct this.”

“Need help in the latter department? :o)”

“Good sex might not work for men. Remember men got to sleep afterwards, so no housework gets done, at least by the man! :-)”

“Thank your mom for buying a Saturn, I make em down here in Spring Hill, TN. That is when I get back to work next week.”