slippery when wet...

“the "man shower" part just killed
me :o)

How to Shower Like a Woman
1. Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry hamper according to color.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make
mental note to do more sit ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg
cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
with 43 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again to make sure its clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint
conditioner enhanced with natural avacado oil. Leave
in hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub
for 10 min. untill red.
9. Wash rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner out of hair.
11. Shave armpits and legs
12. Turn off shower
13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of rhode island.
Wrap hair in spcial hair towel.
15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed area.

How To Shower Like a Man

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake weiner at her making the "woo-woo"
sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire size of your weiner, scratch your ass and smell your finger.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Wash your face.
6. Wash your armpits.
7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
8. Make fart noises (real or artifical)and laugh at
how loud they sound in the shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
11. Shampoo hair
12. Make a shampoo mohawk
13. Pee
14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtian was hanging out of tub the whole time.
16. Admire weiner size in mirror again.
17. Leave shower curtian open, wet mat of floor, light and fan on.
18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If
you pass wife, pull off towel, shake weiner at her and
make "woo-woo" sound again.
19. Throw wet towel on bed.”

“lmao!! toooo funny! got to put this one into my collection.”

“lol. Veeerry funy turtle!”

“glad i could provide a smile guys...
since i live alone treebeard, we'll have to have maple verify the accuracy of
this...lol”

“Funny and true!”

“Written by a woman.”

“Thats what makes it true. :)”

“it must be the external vs internal sex organ thing?

oh the mental picture the
"woo woo" part conjures
up :o)”

“that's pretty well my shower routine give or take a few variables ;)”

“probably shouldn't talk about the "give" part eh ynami? 8)”

“yes, ask Maple, Turtle. She will probably concur that I don't fit a lot of the male stereotypes.”

“I dunno, I'm quite happy to discuss my bathroom activities ;)”

“Like what? The woo-woo part?”

“i think the woo woo part is safe, it's the other man shower
noises...
i'm sure treebeard, i get the feeling neither of you two are stereotypical...
that's why we like you :)”

“Well, thank you, Turtle. Much appreciated...”

“you're most welcome :)”

“HEY watch it turtle!!!

LOL thats some funny stuff.

I think all are true but not the part of smelling his stinky butt.”

“REAL men don't bath or shower!!!”

“no worries maple i threw you in there too :)
as long as he doesn't bring the finger near you...lol...

hmmm, stanlee, are you single by any chance?

i thought so ;)”

“Amen!Amen!Amen!
Real cute turtle13.”

“he he he...tks trekkngirl :o)”

“I do 7 & 8 alot!!!!

8)”

“i don't think that's jut a boy quality CMB, i still giggle about farts too...”

“i'm more of a #16 man myself.....”

“#2 was sooo funny. lol”

“woo woo!

Oh c'mon...like women don't do it too?

@@”

“WOO WOO!”

“my boss just stuck his head in my office and went "woo woo"...”

“no shaking involved I hope”

“uh oh, if your boss keeps that up, you better head over to the harrassment thread!”

“Which head?”

“EEWWW, bitpusher!! :-D”

“the shower head.... duh ... ;-)”

“oh yuk on you guys...don't want any sex thoughts involving my boss...definately don't want to think about his "boy"...”

“I also like to make all kinds of funny noises.

8)”

“funny noises are definately good for shower-time fun :)”

“i thought this was a shaun jon blowme thread”