You See, Women are like Fruit

“While having a conversation with my best friend (who is incredibly shallow) last night about having sucess with the ladies, just off the top of my head, I told him something to the effect of:

"You see, women are like fruit. If you want to have a lot of fruit, you must first grow some trees. These "trees" are female friends, strictly plutonic, and you don't fool around with them, and they don't fool around with you. Because you are just friends, it will put you in a better light with all her other female friends, who are hopefully pretty hot. It hints that you have a sensitive side, and aren't only interested in just sex, but need companionship in your life. Then, from these trees, you will eventually follow the branches along to the fruit. The fruit are all of her friends, and these are fair game. However, remember the fruit you are picking is coming from the tree, and you don't want to upset that or it will die, and you will have no more fruit."

I then told my friend to quit eating the bark, and let his trees grow.

I was kinda impressed with that metaphor, and just thought I'd share.

Disclaimer: Artex is by no means a Casanova, nor does he claim to be. His dating success are sporadic, however when things are going well, there's usually an avalance. Conversely, these periods are often intertwined with long droughts that rival the Sahara desert. Artex treats all women as human beings and respects them not just for their looks, but their minds as well. ”

“you're in real danger of being grouped in the "he's a really nice guy" category there Artex, a category I've fought to get out of for years ;o)..... clear the forest!”

“LMAO”

“Nice disclaimer!”

“So you are saying you only eat women when they are in "season"...

yuckkkkkk”

“excuse me madum but i need to test those mellons for ripeness.....”

“There she was, in the produce department, bendin' over the cantelopes.”

“ynami is right...this plan is totally transparent, and much too nice-guy. the good news is, i found the absolute worst quiz in the world! step right up...

Which Fruit Are You?

apparently i'm a banana, and i'm funny. woo hoo.”

“I ended up as a banana too. Did you know that bananas aren't actually a fruit, they are an herb?”

“Very good, Sigmund. Now what's with the banana?”

“does it always come up with bananas?”

“Hey! Mine came up as Michael Jackson!”

“I admit I suffer for Nice Guy Syndrome (NGS), but I believe the above line of thinking is a great way of playing the cards you are dealt! You still retain the NGS, which isn't entirely bad, but you still have your fair share of fun. :-)”

“ok there's a nasty line about fruit turning rotten, but I'd never use it :o)”

“this thread cracks me up!!

i got banana too. a lemon is my natural enemy.....”

“I came out a banana on that quiz and my natural enemy is the lemon...”

“jinx treebeard!! buy me a drink!”

“I'm a pare.”

“Don't you hate that, Artex? I always used to get that "Nice Guy" thing, too. I was always "the nice guy" and women were always going after the "Nasty Guy"! Now they're divorced and looking for the "Nice Guy", but it's too late! HA!”

“Ok, Yam .. As long as you are not a lemon”

“Michael Jackson, HA!

i told you it was the worst quiz ever!”

“LOL Aero! I'm seeing the same trend starting to happen with me. :-)”

“ok, as soon as we get any lemons then we gang up and beat the crap out of them”

“I'm a Tomato~~~~%^[”

“Artex, being in Florida, you'll have 30 year old divorcees coming out of the woodwork!”

“I think I have always shared that NSG syndrome as you have, Arty. It's just the way I have always been. But, you are right, it can be done and still have lots of fun doing it. If that's the way it's meant to be, then so be it...Ride with it!”

“YES, we have no banana daquiri mix.


Paging Dr. Freud....”

“Yeah! I'm a strawberry!”

“STRAWBERRY

You are caring and romantic
You are loyal to your frinds.
Your friends can trust you.
You are well loved.”

“LOL @ aero! I've always had great success down in Florida, both when I lived there and even during visits while I've lived up here in NY/NJ.

Treebeard, darn right. Hey, I have no complaints whatsoever. Things have gone pretty well for good ole Artex! :-)”

“where are all those lemons hiding????”

“(you thought that Freud thing was going to be Something Else, didn't you?)”

“does that mean men are from Mars, women are from Venus and we are from Pluto, Tilt?”

“You know what's funny, I thought I'd get blasted for perhaps being sexist by starting this thread.. yet y'all are only seeing the NGS! :-)”

“Don't hate me! I gave the wallet back with all the money left in!”

“we need "nice guys" like you to keep our insanity from the "nasty guys"”

“Replace plutonic with PLATONIC in my first post!

I pulled an Ice Tea.”

“"I pulled an Ice Tea" - I don't want to know this! - what went on at FYAO is your own business ;o)”

“You PERVE!!!!”

“I know - I disgust myself sometimes :o)”

“Don't you guys know that Word comes with an Ice Tea-Checker?”

“And Cyndi Lauper is from Neptune... sure!


I thought that 'solidifying magma deep within the earth' was rather potent imagery... LOL”

“Tilt- Orogeny causes uplift!”

“But on a more serious note - despite my battle to rid myself of the NGS stigma - it seems to be becoming more appealing as my target audience gets older. I also refuse to listen to the "my life is crap I hate my boyfriend routine," unless something really serious happens.”

“I've been noticing that too, ynami. However, I'm finding the "golddigger" complex doesn't shed well in a lot of women. Not all, mind you, but many. I think a lot of that may have to do with the area I currently live in though.”

“gold diggers......i'd gander to say none in the the area of.....say.......new mexico??? ;-)”

“LOL! Nope, they're everywhere, just some areas have a higher concentration. The little somebody I know out there in Santa Fe definitely isn't one though. :-)”

“dudes y'all have got to stop being all nice nice, women do not like it. And --
--the fruit thing fellas -- you have to know how to squeeze them, just the right touch at the right place and then you can tell how juicey they are, which in turn makes them so much more aPEELing.

Playboys ----- NOT ;>)”

“squeeze me babe till the juice runs down my leg
squeeze squeeze me baby until the juice runs down my leg
the way you squeeze my lemon im gonna fall right outta bed”

“Orogeny... YOWZA”