In Praise of Older Women

“I know this is suppose to be a joke but in a lot of cases I find some of the comments to be true:

An older woman can wear any hat she chooses and nobody will laugh. A younger woman wearing the same hat will always look like a lampshade in abrothel.

An older woman will never wake you up in the middle of the night and ask you, "What are you thinking?" An older woman doesn't care what you think, if you think at all.

An older woman always carries a purse full of emergency supplies. Young women go hungry and bleed to death every time there's a natural disaster.

An older woman always carries a condom in her purse. A younger woman is still hoping the guy might have one on him.

An older woman is a cheaper date. A younger woman will cost you 12 beers, but an older woman will sleep with you after a cup of a herbal tea.

The older a woman gets, the stronger her libido gets and the older a man gets, the weaker his libido gets... which is why nature intended young guys to go out with older women and young women to go out with older men.

An older woman can wear bright red lipstick during the day without looking like she just had an adventure inside a jam jar. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

Older women can run faster because they're always wearing sensible shoes.

An older woman is into free sex! An older woman is almost always already attached to someone, so there's no need to develop a phobia about committing to her. The last thing she needs in her life is another clingy, whiny, dependent lover!

Older women are more honest. An older woman will tell you that you are an #&%!$ if you're acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, just in case it means you might break up with her. An older woman puts herself on a pedestal.

An older woman will never get pregnant and then suddenly demand that the two of you get married. In fact, if you impregnate an older woman, you will probably be the last to know.

Older women have jobs with dental plans. Younger women can't help you when your teeth get knocked out playing hockey.

An older woman will never accuse you of "using her." She's using you.

Older women take charge of the situation. An older woman will call you up and ask you for a date. A younger woman will wait forever, by the phone, for you to call.

Older women know how to cook. Young women know how to dial Pizza Hut Take out.

An older woman will introduce you to all of her girlfriends. A younger woman will avoid her girlfriends when she's with you, in case you get any ideas.

Older women are psychic. You never have to confess to having an affair, because somehow they always know.

Older women often own an interesting collection of lingerie that they have acquired from admirers over the years. Young women often don't wear underpants at all, thus practically eliminating all possibility of a strip-tease.

Older women know what Kegel exercises are.

An older woman will agree to go to McDonald's with you for a meal. Younger women are too nervous to eat anything in front of somebody that they might possibly boff later.

Older women are dignified. They are beyond having a screaming match with you in the middle of the night in a public park.

Older women are experienced. They understand that sometimes, after 12 beers, a boy just can't get it up. A younger woman may need some time to grasp this fact.

An older woman has lots of girlfriends and most of them will want to boff you too.

An older woman will always meet the minimum height requirement to go on an amusement ride.

An older woman will never accuse you of stealing the best years of her youth because chances are someone else has stolen them first.”

“Try this,Older women make the best mothers. Older women are the best sister's. Older women are the best friend's if you want one. If you don't they still are. Older women who are the above, used to be younger. And then they started getting wiser. Baby girl's grow up to be what ever there Daddy's showed them to be. Kiss a older woman if you can, age is just a passing of time, of which there is no end. Give me a older women and I will be fine. Cheer's to old age.”

“ok guys your being @#$#!!!!
lol”

“Older women make better lovers.”

“I'm in LOVE.:~ )”

“Trekkngirl....do tell.”

“Thanks for mebbee liking us. Course, I am still 17 in my mind!!!”

“You're a 10 in mine.”

“They don't tell, they don't swell and they're grateful as hell...”

“being an older man is not so bad ... you double your potential sex partners. when you are young you only want young women. when you get older you want any woman.”

“F.G., I've read somewhere when a woman have had great...how would I put this, so I won't get censored...intimate moment, her boo...bust swells.”

“LOL, stanlee, so does the 'little man in the boat'...”

“LOL, that was just too funny. SOME of it is true, some of it is not true.

shouldn't be so worried that I am getting old huh?

dido to liz. I still feel like I am 15, well okay 20!”

“hmmmm, how come when an older woman acts 20 she is considered healthy and well-adjusted, but if an older man acts 20 he is an immature boob?”

“life just isn't fair”

“Older women are fantastic.... I guess it just depends on what age you draw the line ;o)”

“Gemini, which ones did you find to be true and tell us why you think that.”

“Ewker, only the good things...everything else is a lie. :)
why? because I am old. (no, noooo, I did not say that....)”

“LOL...hyway your too much!~

Well Gemini they are saying we are getting better not worse that has to be a good thing.”

“I have passed it around at work and all the women agree that most of it is true.

All of them got a laugh out of this one but one did admit that it has happened to her before with a guy she was seeing: An older woman has lots of girlfriends and most of them will want to boff you too”

“Q) What does an older women's crotch smell like?







A) Depends”

“LOL @ fly”

“ Are you sure an older women is better? It's funny, but don't open at work it is rated R.”

“that must be a bad one.... censored.”

“Your right Ice Tea... granny's red lipstick is a bit much for her. :~ )”

“DOM, it isn't censored when I click on the link.

Not sure how long it will last though.”

“I think the little man in the boat drowned on granny. Someone call a code!!

Tex”

“The ones I have met don't beat around the bush like some of the younger ones do. They have all been quick and to the point as if they have left something burning in the oven.

And when the well dries up, you have to dig deeper.

I really should be trolling!”