Family Car Camping Trip

“There are two members of the owl club already. I sense there may be more members coming in the annual recruitment drive.”

“yeah thats right geo, keep think them happy thoughts about it being an OWL.



(rubbing hands together while thinking of evil thoughts)”

“Look silly, I'll know it's you because no owl goes "Hoo, hoo, $#%&ing Hoo!"”

“who are you calling a hoo hoo?


put up your friggin duck livers!!!”

“Who?”

“Just watch where ya drop yer drawers Maple. Brian might have caught a ride to Maryland!”

“Hmmm, Potty must be trying to think up a snappy come-back for that one!”

“Hey Geo, no pickin' on Mapes. lol You guys crack me up. This is going to be a great trip.”

“My son informed me that some metal piece on the sailboat is broken. The boat is 30 years old, so we have to have the piece custom made. Anyway, I am not bringing the boat as promised.

Maple, can I tie up a blown up inner tube to your kayak. I was thinkin' maybe you could paddle me around the river. lol”

“Brings new meaning to "Put up your ducks," Maple paddling around a bunch of little ducklings in inner tubes.”

“Less than two weeks, folks. I started buying up the meat for my delectable offering and put it in the freezer. Gotta pick up some more this weekend.”

“yes, Geo. Looking forward to this one. Hope the rain gods are good to us...”

“Carnivores!”

“Hard core carnivores!”

“I was in West Virginia 6/6-7-8.

What did I miss, the usual monkey doo?”

“This "hike" sounds like a great time. Sit on my butt, have a few brews, eat till you fall over, excellent company.
Wish I was closer! Y'all have a wonderful time!”

“you forgot about

my new kayak that I will RENT out for about $30.00 per 30 min.”

“Jeez, with those prices it's no wonder your last one got stolen!”

“Do you take barter?”

“The advance forecast for Friday is in and











Da da da Dat da da













Thunderstorms”

“i know, shocker!”

“You'll need tiny little umbrellas for the monkeys.”

“Let's hope that forecast does a big turnaround...”

“That is why I will have the Tarp Mahal!”

“How many can you fit in the freakin' palace, Geo?”

“Oh, about a half dozen comfortably, maybe 9-10 if we had to. I put it up over the picnic table, so there is room for the stove and a few chairs to sit and drink.”

“I have a nice screen house that will keep a bunch dry in the rain.

We have to construct breezeways with tarps connecting the sites.

But It ain't gonna rain!”

“and will it have a cement pond in the house tent?”

“If there's a cement pond under the tarp, Maple can float in her kayak.”

“yes'm”

“YES YEAH OMG!!!!”

“We can build a kiddy pool out of tarps for you.”

“Careful Tom, we don't want her to drown. You know how Maple gets.”

“Don't anybody bring any frozen turkeys or banana chips either.”

“Rule #1: Do not, under any circumstances, allow Maple near your fire.

Rule #2: If you should use celery in your dish, do not use the word stalk if Maple is nearby.

Rule #3: If your recipe calls for maple syrup, do not tell Maple.

Rule #4: If the sound of Maple's profane language should make you lose concentration, you will automatically be disqualified.

Rule #5: Cooking liver of any sort is discouraged. If you should inadvertently disregard this rule, be prepared to move out of the way if Maple should yell, "Run for your livers!"

Rule #6: If you are preparing turkey, it is advisable not to let Maple near your cooking area. If she should wander into your cooking area, it shall be your responsibility to assure that your dead turkey does not attack Maple.”

“You forgot about the ducks...”

“Rule #7: If cooking duck, do not attempt to pick it up off the fire if somebody yells "Put up your ducks!"

Rule #8: Banana products of any kind are not permitted in the campground while Maple is on the site.”

“LMAO geo, you to funny!”

“Rule #9: Cooks involved in the cookoff are exempt from searching for Maple's kayak.

Rule #10: It shall be deemed unsportsmanlike conduct to offer Maple dried bananas in order to get Treebeard to take her to the hospital and thereby lose the cookoff. Anybody who offers Maple a dried banana shall be automatically disqualified with no possibility of appeal.”

“Geo, I think I would probably give her cab fare and tell the driver to make sure she gets to the hospital safely rather than leave the cook off...”

“Rule #10 is herewith rescinded due to Treebeard's lack of concern for his wife's welfare.”

“Rule#11 if you see treebeard going up in flames,



boy this is harder then it looks geo.”

“Sounds like Treebeard cooked his own goose. Either that, or he goosed his own cook.


(I just love all the dead bird references)”

“Rule # 12
Don't chicken out.”

“Rule # 13

"Duck!" when Maple hurls a fireplace tool at me...”

“ok if you all are not nice to me, i will do what the nutcase did on the train last night.

I will sing...

"I love chicken"

in every language known to man.”

“true story. I called treebeard just so he could hear it.”

“When Creek Dancer and I were driving back to the campsite in all the rain in WVa last month, the radio station was playing "I love a rainy night" by Alvin and the Chipmunks. We beat the radio to death!”

“You can count these as bag nights as long as you supply Creek Dancer with plenty of cheap merlot.”

“Geo's calling up to arrange for airdrops of cheap merlot right now...”