CHINA TUNNELS THROUGH EARTH

“Crazed leaders in Red China have EMBARKED ON A BIZARRE NEW PLAN to invade America -- by digging a TUNNEL RIGHT through the center of the Earth!

The ambitious, top-secret project is well under WAY AND THE Chinese tunnel rats have ALREADY DUG DOWN a mind-bending 104,000 feet -- nearly 20 miles beneath the Earth's surface.

If all goes according to plan, WITHIN SIX YEARS they'll break through on the other side, somewhere in Oklahoma, around the Bartlesville area.

Roughly 500 million bloodthirsty, SCREAMING CHINESE TROOPS will come pouring out of that hole -- hell-bent on A BOLD MISSION to conquer the United States, reduce our people to slavery and seize all our women.

The People's Tunnel, as the ULTRA-secret project is known, was originally the brainchild of Chairman Mao Zedong, father of modern-day China.

Back in the late 1960s, when CHINA AND THE UNITED STATES were at each other's throats, Mao proposed building such a tunnel. But at the time, it just WASN'T TECHNICALLY FEASIBLE because the drilling equipment available in China was so primitive. After Nixon went to China and U.S.-Sino RELATIONS started to warm up, the plan was put on the back burner.

But TWO YEARS AGO, Chinese leaders TOOK A FRESH LOOK at the idea.

China has over a billion people and it DOESN'T HAVE THE RESOURCES to feed them. Because of the one-child-per-family policy and widespread abortion for sex-selection, MEN OUTNUMBER WOMEN by many times.

They need GRAIN, they need LAND -- and most of all, THEY NEED WOMEN.”

“Yeah, I'm sure”

“MARVIN, you NUT.”

“to abort this plan we just need a few female volunteers prepared to do thier bit for America”

“Me Chinese! Me play joke! Me put PP in your coke!”

“I nominate Janet Reno and Donna Shalala...”

“Do you want them to attack us?”

“LOL Artex! I'd forgotten all about that one! Brings back some childish memories!”

“"to abort this plan we just need a few female volunteers prepared to do thier bit for America"
ynamiynami
04:36:05 PM
03/05/03

"I nominate Janet Reno and Donna Shalala..."
Father Goose
04:42:47 PM
03/05/03”

“(gag!)

Now THAT would make for some butt-ugly Chinese!!!”

“Chinese Rep calling George Bush: China needs women!

George Bush: Wal ok, how about Janet Reno and Donna Shalala?

Chinese Rep: (covering phone, talking to underling) Go ahead and nuke them now!”

“ROTFLMFAO!!!”

“No, Don't nuke us! We'll through in Madeline Albright and Doris Meisner.”

“OMG, that'll make 'em surrender!!!”

“I think it won't make them surrender, it will drive them to human cloning!”

“That way every one of their Little Emperors (common term of affection for Chinese male children) can have Lucy Liu for a wife!”

“In addition, we'll throw in one fine mrs. Bader-Ginsberg and a side of Condeleeza Rice!”

“If they came up in Iowa, they would have all the grain they could want, and lizs with her pink thingie!”

“Wooo, Big Whoop! My friend, Jimmy Unger, and I started digging a hole to China in our garden when we were 9 years old. We got down to 5 feet by the time my Dad came home from work.”

“BASTARDS! IT'S CLINTONS FAULT FOR SELLING THEM DRILL TECHNOLOGY!”

“Don't worry too much, we'll be laughing all the way to the bank when they break through into the mantle...”

“Me Chinese! Me play joke! Me put PP in your coke!"
Artex
04:41:45 PM
03/05/03

LMFAO @ Artex”

“They must've seen the movie, "The Core" already. Their spys in Hollywood are good!!!”

“I had fogotten how much I missed Marvin!”

“No, Marvin's info is much older. He got it from this movie.”

“Now there was an all-star cast if ever I saw one!”

“Oh yeah. No doubt that's why it's considered such a classic...”

“I'm a little surprised John Carradine wasn't in it.”

“Yah, but he was in this classic...”

“Marvin, I've missed you so!



BTW, Duh! Of course they need WOMEN. They're MEN.”

“Speaking of which, that Other John Carradine Classic...

(I was originally thinking of "Billy The Kid versus Dracula," but what about...)

VAMPIRE HOOKERS (1979)

...with an overall rating of 1.9 on a scale of 1 to 10, LOL


From the Lone Review...

Vampire Hookers shouldn't have tanlines...

should they?

They're VAMPIRES!

Vampires don't sunbathe!”

“Hmmmm

I'm thinking that Marvin is Tilt!

Notice how Tilt posted less than a minute after Marven???

Ok Tilt! Fess Up!”

“could he switch that quickly?”

“Marvin is blowing it out his tinfoil hat. Bartlesville, Oklahoma? Right!”

“really? oh crap, we have a store in bartlesville! they'll call me when it gets all tore up ....
frikkin commies!”

“OKAY, I CONFESS... Adventurist is Marvin, LOL”

“LOL...”

“(do you think they'll fall, I mean, go for it?)”

“Marvin is really a alied alien to earth who serves as ambassador, warning us earthlings of the evil ones who pose a risk to us.”

“You're not related to vyxtryx are ya? <G>”

“MEXICO TUNNELS INTO US!

And fills the tunnel with marijuana.”

“The Motherlaod! I see how they "coveniently" estimated how much pot they found.”

“Rats! I thought maybe Marvin posted something.”

“Heh heh...2 tons of dope in that tunnnel, eh? Fellas, that would make one heck of a clam bake, wouldn't it? Too funny...”

“Maybe it wasn't a tunnel at all but rather the worlds longest pot pipe. If the pot is fired up and burning on the Mexican side, and American's are taking hits from the US side, is it really illegal?”

“Thats a very good question!”

“I could be a test case.”

“You could be a test case for what???”

“When narc agents burn pot, do they get high?”

“That's, like, soooooooo funny, duuuuude.....”