The Real Stock Market Is Too Depressing, So...

“Today's Stock Market Report: Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Cows steered into a bull market. Pencils lost a few points. Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued a slow decline. Weights were up in heavy trading. Light switches were off. Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remain unchanged. Shipping lines stayed at an even keel. The market for raisins dried up. Coca Cola fizzled. Caterpillar stock inched up a bit. Balloon prices were inflated. Scott Tissue touched a new bottom. And batteries exploded attempting to recharge the market.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------And, while we are on a light note...

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting to please come out and give himself up.”

“Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed a $127,000 home last month - a short in the homeowner's newly installed fire prevention alarm system. "This is even worse than last year," said the distraught homeowner, "when someone broke in and stole my new security system..."
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A man walked in to a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Shop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.”

“Funny! But my 401k is still tanked!”

“When do we reap our "War Dividend"?”

“Maybe when these clowns are out of office divying up their own booty?”

“When do we reap our "War Dividend"?”
When we get the flower pedals sweept up and oil starts flowing into your gas tank.”

“Private equity will again rule the roost,

with the fed as their right hand to give them a boost.”

“next stop.... 11000?”

“GM challenging the number eleven on it's slide to just about seven. $10.91 and sinking.
last edited: 7/02/08 7:04:53 AM”

“Ford is looking worse...4.75”

“I've lost over $40K due to the market. Both private investments and my 401K...don't know what to do.”

“Get a second job, if possible!”

“lol, i already did, wedding photography, but that was to replace the income from my wife as she gets ready to stay at home with the kid. I have been buying up cheap stocks like Huntington Bank and National City. Maybe they'll rebound and in 10-20 years they'll be worth a lot. I got in on Apple when they were $5.50/share, that one turned out good just wish I had more money back then to buy more of them.”

“I knew a guy who gave up wedding photography when the marriage busted up before he ever got the prints back from the developer. Neither "ex" wanted to pay for the photos.”

“�I've lost over $40K due to the market. Both private investments and my 401K...don't know what to do.�
Dub
10:10:20 AM
7/02/08

OUCH!”

“Hang tight Dub. The market will come back. It always does. You really haven't "lost" anything, unless you sold the investments. You might want to move some of it into a 401K cash account to stop the bloodletting if you are really concerned.

Now is a good time to buy stuff cheap!”

“You are young, Dub. Go for the long term view.”

“I knew a guy who gave up wedding photography when the marriage busted up before he ever got the prints back from the developer. Neither "ex" wanted to pay for the photos.”
Geobeet

I charge for everything up front. The one time I only charged $500 for the shooting time and editing time (6 hours wedding/8 editing) I gave them an edited CD with "Proof" "Do not print" real big on every photo. Similar situation, they got an annulment and didn't buy any prints after making me shoot 75 different group shots promising each family would buy a photo (usually I limit after ceremony shots to 15 max). Since then I charge for the photos up front. You get divorced, you still get the prints as you paid for them 10 days before the weddin!


And no, I haven't sold the investment. It's at $30/share right now and usually if I need some cash I sell at $40 as traditionally it bounced between $38-40. The company is doing better but I think the weak dollar made the price stay low. I'm gonna hold onto it. If it drops to $20 it's gone or if it goes back up to $40, cashing out my heart can't take it anymore--I think I'm gonna open a campground or my own business, daycare brings in $1000/mo/kid in Columbus. My 401K and roth I just left everything as is and moved all of my new contributions to stocks that were doing well. I'm at a 6% average now but I used to average 14-18% but at least it's not as bad as a -13% thanks to all the drops.”

“A little short coverage in the GM - F duopoly.”