Terrorism tips

“If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.



If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder



If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor



Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!



The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless hand.



Hurricanes, animal corpses and the biohazard symbol have a lot in common. Think about it.



If your building collapses, give yourself a blowjob while waiting to be rescued.



After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.



And

If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that #&%!$.

”

“LMFAO”

“Holy sh@t that was funny.”

“Great stuff, Rat!”

“HA!!”

“Those were pretty good Tarp Rat, I guess you aren't so bad after all”

“Your either with it......



....or square”

“No, I'm just bored as hell!

Don't take me seriously folks, I'm suffering from "I hate my F'n job syndrome".

I also have "my manager is a #&%!$ disease".

I like the BJ and mutant ones! HA!”

“If you lose a contact lens during a chemical attack, do not stop to look for it.




-- If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell.



Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. After 5 minutes and 12 seconds, however, you may become sterile

”

“"Keep watching the skies,
Don't stop watching the skies!"

Final words from the bald-headed reporter from "The Thing" 1951.”

“I thought this was going to be a thread about how to be a better terrorist. Oh well, was still good for a few laughs anyway.”

“Great Stuff, Tarp Rat!

LOL!”

“#&%!$!

My boss caught me laughing at my ... errr... report.”

“Too funny! Think about it...”

“EEEeeeee!!!!

I've been mooned by an Emoticon!”

“Dozens Fall Ill at IHOP in Arkansas
Jun 08 3:01 PM US/Eastern
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JONESBORO, Ark.

More than two dozen people became ill after inhaling a substance believed to have been sprayed inside an IHOP restaurant, police said.

Authorities were trying to determine the source of the substance that forced the restaurant's evacuation Tuesday evening.

Some customers were gasping for air, and one complained of shortness of breath and a burning sensation in his nose and throat. Four were taken to hospitals, police said.

"Due to the symptoms of the victims, it is believed that some substance, such as tear gas or some similar substance, may have been sprayed in the seating area of the restaurant," Patrolman Jonathan Landrum said.

......

____________________

When I was younger, a friend of mine created the same affect in a crowd by spraying .... are you ready for this .... bianca.

It's funny how the mind/body tries to figure out how to react when it comes in contact w/ an unknown substance.”

“Hell, there's a Mexican restaurant here that gets me every time it gets to 9 pm, and they break out the extra strength pine sol to start cleaning. That's enough to gag a maggot, but I think that's the whole idea.”

“They're preempting the affect the food has on those who have stuck around for a while.”

“unknown substance in arkansas? was it soapy water?”

“i am so sorry i missed the days of tarprat”

“you missed a lot crash I wish I had saved his description of how he got the trail name Tarp Rat....darn near cried with laughter reading it.

It was something about he found a little rat after a rain storm and it was half drowned so he put it under an old tarp but it died....”

“i think i heard that story.”