Artex Ugly Mug Club

“HEY PENNSY - Are you still gonna drive down to FLA to pick up Artex for the Old Loggers Path Hike ???


What will the Mainiac Moose/Northeast Bear Clan do without the crack puppy running around in camp?
When I met Artex at FYAO, he was more of a hibernating hound... When does he start freakin' out?

hmmm, this may call for extreme measures...

Maybe the Florida game commission will shoot Artey with a tranquilizer gun when he starts warmin' up in the Florida sunshine, catch him up with one of those helicopters with the big net and relocate him back up North???”

“They need him to keep the wild hog population in check.”

“Drive down to Florida? Shoot, look at the Artex beans and rice thread and check out his rocket. He'll be able to get up here in minutes. Unless of course he faces the wrong direction and ends up in Argentina.”

“"Vonce ze Artex goes up
Who knows vhere he comes down?
Zat's not my department,"
Says Wernher von Braun


(appy-polly-logies to Tom Lehrer)”

“This just in...

..A number of forest fires have been causing panic and alarm regarding possible terrorist attacks in the Gainesville area.
..Residents have been reporting streaks of light in the sky and methane-like foul odors.
..People have already begun putting up plastic and duct tape around their homes.

..Mid-Atlantic correspondent Geobeet has been alerting authorities about the return of a crazed Florida native and has asked for an immediate count of Florida's wild boar population.
..PA backpacker and President of the Artex Ugly Mug Club, Pennsy Hiker, has told us exclusively that the so-called terrorist attacks may in fact be the ramblings of his friend, who may be lighting his a$$ on fire by eating Backcountry Panties - Red Beans 'n Rice in an attempt to fly back to PA for the upcoming *Old Loggers Path Hike*.
..Western correspondent lizs will have an in-depth interview with the man they call Artex, coming up at 11...

... and now back to your local programming ...”

“Y'all are sick!







Get help!”

“I've said it before and I'll say it again... You're one sick puppy, Bobo.

However, I admire that quality.”

“One thing's for sure, my brother has been walking around with his shirt pulled up over his nose half the time. I'm still adjusting to Florida food. :-)”

“Steer clear of open flame.”

“LMAO....you guys are too funny.”

“He's the most logical explanation for global warming I've heard yet...”

“US THE GASBGON PILLOW”

“Who's eating panties?? Do you mean "pantry's"?”

“I dont know, they do make the edible kind.....”

“An old dehydrated food joke, dhutch you win the prize! The way that stuff gives me heartburn and GAS, I may rather eat from some backcountry panties!!!
{ewh, did I say that?!?}

Glad you made it to FLA, Mr. "Swims with the Manatees"! We are expecting you for The Old Logger Path, right???”