What were they thinking?

“I have a better question.

Why the heck didn't I think of this one?

In December, German real estate tycoon Rolf Eden, 72, announces that he is willing to pay €125,000 to any woman who can kill him through sexual intercourse, saying he plans to fly interested women to his home in Berlin for a trial run. "I don't care why they make love to me," Eden says, "as long as I have my fun."

”

“Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species.

To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger,I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to: M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc. Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes. Thank you."”

“Harry Potter broomstick with vibrator in handle:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00005NEBW/102-3980314-6043309”

“damn...they are out of stock!”