Men!

“Why It's Good to Be a Man

It's good to be a man. Here's why.


Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.


Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

Your orgasms are real. Always.

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

Wedding Dress, $2,000. Tux rental, $100.

If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet.

One mood, all the damn time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.


Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.


A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking, "He must be mad at me."

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24, in minutes.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet, one color, all seasons.

You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

The world is your urinal.”

“That says a lot!”

“lol, very nice”

“Thank you for that mid-afternoon "pick-me-up"!”

“:)”

“Men are like ... Laxatives ...They irritate the #&%!$ out of you.

Men are like ... Bananas ... The older they get, the less firm
they are.

Men are like ... Vacations ... They never seem to be long enough.

Men are like ... Weather ... Nothing can be done to change them.

Men are like ... Blenders ... You need One, but you're not quite
sure why.

Men are like ... Chocolate Bars ... Sweet, smooth, & they usually
head right for your hips.

Men are like ... Coffee ... The best ones are rich, warm, and can
keep you up all night long.

Men are like ... Commercials ... You can't believe a word they
say.

Men are like ... Department Stores ... Their clothes are always
1/2 off.

Men are like ... Government Bonds ... They take soooooooo long to
mature.

Men are like ... Mascara ... They usually run at the first sign
of emotion.

Men are like ... Popcorn ... They satisfy you, but only for a
little while.

Men are like ... Snowstorms ... You never know when they're
coming, or how long it will last.

Men are like ... Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at, but not very
bright.

Men are like ... Parking Spots ... All the good ones are taken,
the rest are handicapped”

“Bad night Free?”

“:P”

“What do you have for lunch today Free? I hope not the bagel weenies again.”

“They're on to us!”

“Bagel weenies?”

“Wounder knee- I don't know yet. Maybe something healthy like a salad or something.”

“Ya! She had trouble cooking her weenies yesterday for lunch.”

“Yeah Bagel Weenies :D!”

“I don' like rabbit food.

mmmmmmmmm...HAMBURGER!”

“EW! You eat boogers?”

“men and weenies?

good way to stay on topic!”

“Edamame!

Tofu!

The sushi joint is beckoning.”

“slice and dice baby...”

“A good burger every day will keep the doctor away, or was that an apple? I forget.

I had tofu for lunch yesterday.”

“Bagel weenies, Corn Dogs, Tater Pigs; they're all the same!”

“Corn Dogs are evil!”

“Liar! Aero they are compleatly diffrent things!”

“Bagel dogs= hot dogs wrapped in a bagel
Corn dogs= hotdog wrapped in corn bread
Tator pigs=...not sure....”

“Yea, what's a tater pig?”

“Weenie shoved through a tater?”

“Bacon wrapped around a tater?”

“weenie made out of a tater?”

“Tater Pig- I had one at a fair once. They take a potato, cut out a core, shove a sausage into it and bake it. If you can overlook the strange, Freudian implications to it, they're pretty good!”

“Alright aero, out with it!”

“Yaaa, ya beat me!”

“Aero, you crack me up man!!!!!!”

“Take notes. This is important stuff to know! :D”

“How about a tater with a bullnut in it?”

“Ahhh, Tom wins the prize for his guess! How do you want your sausage?”

“Only in Montana?”

“You know what would be good? Pancake wrapped round a sausage, Dipped in syrup of course YUM!”

“Sausage?


Cooked thouroughly, please~~%^P”

“Free, aren't those "Pigs in a Blanket"?”

“Oh yeah... they are!”

“Man! You guys are making me hungery, yet vaguely disturbed.”

“Aero, has "Eddie" moved into your office yet?

There is only 1 BLM office in Billings, isn't there?”

“I haven't seen him yet Chief. It's the Field Office that he's in.”

“sounds like some good eaten them there piggie in a tater.”

“You know what is good?

Bacon that has been coated in a brown sugar mixture, then doused in bourbon.

We call it bourbon candied a** bacon”

“speaking of fair food- i like those deep fried pickles. YUM!”

“OH boy! Never had one.”

“Deep fried pickles!?!?

If one of those explodes in the frier........run!”

“As I've said many times, and will continue to say, "There's nothing good that isn't better deep-fried."”

“AMEN!”